Here's maybe something flameful re: spanking

gracendantho26

I think if parents are going to choose to spank I the mom should always do the spanking versus the dad when it's the daughter being spanked.

joseysbride

Why?

august06mom

Why?

katie277s

Why?

gracendantho26

I don't think a girl should start out life with a man, substantially larger than she is, inflicting any sort of physical pain on her whatsoever. I don't like the precedent it sets.

And I'm sure there will be 44 replies from women who were spanked by their dads that have never had a problem with abuse from men. But it's still my opinion.

P.G.&A.M.

Are you thinking that it would teach the daughter it's ok if a guy hits her since Dad has?

Zenya

I don't believe in spanking but I think if you're saying that the mom always has to do it then you are in that really creepy spanking zone.  The calm, not in anger, only in love spanking.  Now THAT is a major mindfuck.

Dear - I am angry with my daughter.  can you please inflict pain on her?  I'll fold the laundry.  

gracendantho26

We don't spank at all either but yes if there was a choice and we had to for some bizarre reason I'd prefer that it be my hand not DH's big ol' man hand.

ValAndRyan

I think you are overthinking things.

gracendantho26

Me overthink things? Never. That's crazy talk.

ValAndRyan

kittycarr

I disagree but that's me.  Everyone's style is different.  And I still think you sexy...

I'm going to put it out there about my spanking habits.  It's definitely not done with love.  They know I love them but they also know when I'm chasing them down the hallway, they'll get their little tails smacked and it's because I'm pissed.  My only consistency in spanking is when they do certain things that will hurt themselves, such as running in the house, pulling on each other while playing, running up and down the furniture, attempting to skydive from the headboard, etc.  I ask to stop, if they do not, then I smack them.

veloelle

Nice, something else that can add a layer of sh!t to a mother/daughter relationship. That would never mess a girl up. Always have a mom swat her, never the father. That won't set her up for issues.

gracendantho26

 

Veolle,

I guess I am not understanding the *** because I have a good relationship with my mom. It is common in many families to have only one of the parents spank though.....I know in my DH's family it was his dad. In my friends family it was the mom. Not that uncommon.

veloelle

Your basing your opinion on gender-based spanking on two families? In my highly scientific study of thinking of friends off the top of my head, both moms and dads spanked their kids. Not uncommon to have both parents spank.

Typically mother daughter relationships are more loaded than father/daughter. 

gracendantho26

I am not sure what is going on here but I merely have an opinion on the issue and obviously you do too. I did not mean to make it sound like I did some vast scientific research on the subject. I just don't like the idea of it ever being acceptable for a man to lay and hand on a girl or woman. I'm not sure why the need to get snippy. And no I am sure it's not uncommon for both to spank as it's not uncommon that just one spanks.

veloelle

gracendantho26:

I am not sure what is going on here but I merely have an opinion on the issue and obviously you do too. I did not mean to make it sound like I did some vast scientific research on the subject. I just don't like the idea of it ever being acceptable for a man to lay and hand on a girl or woman. I'm not sure why the need to get snippy. And no I am sure it's not uncommon for both to spank as it's not uncommon that just one spanks.

Because I was lol'ing and eye rolling at your confidence in knowing how families spank. Families are complicated.

LestaMarie

If DD does something while at home with DH that merits a spanking, I would expect him to take care of it.  I certainly wouldn't have him wait for me to get home from whatever I was doing, perhaps hours later, and spank her.  That's screwed up.

The logic also that the "big ol man's hand" is going to be any worse than the mom's hand is also pretty silly, too.  My DH may be stronger and a little bigger than me, but he's not going to crack down on our kids in any way that could be construed as a beating or something; meaning, he's not going to use all of his strength to spank, just as I would not use all of my strength to spank. 

I don't want DD thinking that it's okay if random men OR women try to hit her.  But a spanking is much different than some abusive boyfriend beating on you.  I know a lot of people don't spank, and we have only done so a handful of times.  It's only been when they've been being little sh!ts and have had more than one warning (knowing it's coming if they don't cut out what they're doing, but continue to do it anyway).  Like a PP, we mostly use it in the interest of safety.  It wasn't hard to get to a point quickly where we could use "If you don't stop that now, you're in for a spanking."  Kids don't like getting swatted on the butt, and that's usually enough to get them to stop it.  But whether the swat comes from mom or dad doesn't really matter.  I do see your point a little bit, but it's just very skewed...a dad giving a daughter a spanking in the interest of discipline does not = girl thinking it's okay if guys abuse her in the future.  A BEATING by Dad might do so - but not a swat on the butt.