toddlers at a shower?

AlexPuppy

A friend is throwing a shower for me and one of the girls asked if she could bring her 2 yo son.   The hostess said it's up to me, but she seems to think it was rude for my other friend to even ask.  Toddlers require full time attention and would be a distraction at the shower... according to the hostess. And my house (where the shower is being held) is pretty small.

Do I feel guilty?  Or just be okay w/ the fact that we  say "no kids."

BBachmann

I'd be OK with it, but that's just me.

scubaspot

Say no and don't feel guilty.

heather121709

Its about you, not other peoples children. I say NO!!!

Sept17.05Bride

I don't think there is anything wrong with saying no kids.  I said no kids at my baby shower and was glad I did (I have 2 obnoxious nieces).

hopefulmom

Just say no.  If you make an exception for her you will have to make an exception for everyone.  If you tell others no and then OK it for her...you'll have hurt feelings...or mad guests that would have liked to have brought their little one and not have to pay for a sitter or whatever.

Personally, I hate little kids at showers...unless it is the mom-to-be's own kid.

katmurph

yeah, I would say no. I made the mistake of saying yes to someone in that situation and now I have a bunch of kids coming to mine.

RoxyLynn

Who TF would even ask to bring a toddler to a shower?  They are adult events intended to focus care and attention on the mother-to-be, not babies and toddlers.

Shana051008

I LOVE my neices dearly, however they were both at my cousin's girlfriend's baby shower this weekend and me and my sister spent the entire shower chasing them around and keeping them occupied.  My baby shower is on November 22nd and we are requesting there be no children at my shower for this reason and because the location is not very big.

hderne05

I have a toddler and if you said no kids at the shower I would respect that.  However some people might not be able to come because they can't find a sitter. (point in case, I was invited to one, but couldn't go because my DH is always traveling and I couldn't bring my son, and it totally bummed me out that I couldn't go).  But you are right that they are a distraction.

mrsmegs06

I think it depends on where it's being held.  My cousin brought her 4 & 5 year old to my cousin's shower.  It was held at my other cousin's home that is not kid friendly. The kids were loud and running around like maniacs the entire time. It wasn't a big deal because we were in someone's house.

However, for my shower I asked that everyone keep their kids at home because it was at a tea room in a nice restaurant. I think it really depends on location really.

hopefulmom

So, mrsmegs06...you think it is OK for kids to run around soneone's house like maniacs?  lol  I think I know what you meant...a house is not as "delicate" as a tea room in a restuarant.  But..that is the reason I don't like to see kids at showers.  They are a huge distraction for everyone.

I realize some people aren't going to be able to attend because they can't find babysitting or whatever...but there are people that can't attend for a variety of reasons.  If you say OK to one (because of a babysitting issue) you have to say OK to everyone.  You'll have hurt feelings otherwise.  Everyone thinks their kid deserves to be the "center of attention"...kwim

shortstuff15

I'd be ok with it, but where I am from the shower is held after the baby is born, so there is obviously going to be kids there!!!!!  Plus, we don't have it in any place fancy or do invitations or anything like that, we just have baby showers in our church basement so there is lots of toys and stuff for kids to play with anyway....

AlexPuppy

Thanks for all the responses, ladies!  I feel much better about the decision to say "no."  Even though my DH seems to think it would be no big deal.  But then again, he's not invited to the shower either! 

Lurksgirl

We never tell people to leave their children at home.  If Mom and Dad are welcome so too are the children (any child under 18 that is). I love seeing little ones at events for me it makes it more special.

RoxyLynn

dhviel:

I'd be ok with it, but where I am from the shower is held after the baby is born, so there is obviously going to be kids there!!!!!  Plus, we don't have it in any place fancy or do invitations or anything like that, we just have baby showers in our church basement so there is lots of toys and stuff for kids to play with anyway....

I'm confused - there would obviously be A kid there, but how could there "obviously" be more?  The new parents would be on their first, since there's a shower, but why would other kids be there?

mrsmegs06

hopefulmom:

So, mrsmegs06...you think it is OK for kids to run around soneone's house like maniacs?  lol  I think I know what you meant...a house is not as "delicate" as a tea room in a restuarant.  But..that is the reason I don't like to see kids at showers.  They are a huge distraction for everyone.

I realize some people aren't going to be able to attend because they can't find babysitting or whatever...but there are people that can't attend for a variety of reasons.  If you say OK to one (because of a babysitting issue) you have to say OK to everyone.  You'll have hurt feelings otherwise.  Everyone thinks their kid deserves to be the "center of attention"...kwim

 

Yep that's what I meant...sorry I wasn't clear.    My cousins children by the way were driving me nuts..hhaha. I looked at my mom and said thank go they are coming to my shower. 

Temp984666312503071

Most showers in my social circle welcome "babies in arms" (basically the nursing babies).  I took my DD to a shower when she was a few weeks old because I was feeding her every 2 hours so a babysitter wasn't an option.  But once they are mobile and need to be entertained the whole time they are expected to be left home with dad or with a sitter. 

cutebride73

Lurksgirl:

We never tell people to leave their children at home.  If Mom and Dad are welcome so too are the children (any child under 18 that is). I love seeing little ones at events for me it makes it more special.

I am sorry, but some events are for adults only - kids should not be at showers.  Maybe lilttle girls once they are 8 or 10 years old and know how to sit and behave, but only if their names are included on the invitation.  Also, as another poster said, babies in arms that are a few weeks or months old are usually ok to come. 

Toddlers and pre-schoolers can not sit for extended periods of time and need watched constantly.  A shower is meant for the guest of honor to be the center of attention, not for guests to have to chase after their children and be a distraction to everyone.  Birthday parties, family reunions, holiday celebrations are places for small children - not showers and adult functions. 

I think it would be in extremely poor taste to ask to bring your child or assume that kids were invited just because the parents are. 

shortstuff15

RoxyLynn:

dhviel:

I'd be ok with it, but where I am from the shower is held after the baby is born, so there is obviously going to be kids there!!!!!  Plus, we don't have it in any place fancy or do invitations or anything like that, we just have baby showers in our church basement so there is lots of toys and stuff for kids to play with anyway....

I'm confused - there would obviously be A kid there, but how could there "obviously" be more?  The new parents would be on their first, since there's a shower, but why would other kids be there?

Well, for starters any baby shower I have gone to have been strictly ladies only (we have had co-ed bridal showers), but for the most the ladies who come who have newborns or babies under 1 bring those babies as well (feeding issues or dad isn't home that evening to watch them....), and I totally expect my sister to bring my nieces to my shower (they wil be 4 and 2 by that time).  But, like I said, we do showers way differently where I'm from, so it's not an issue for our showers as it would be for the types of showers that I am reading about here. 

hderne05

I guess I find this question weird too.  Every shower that I have ever been to has had other kids.  And I also like seeing them there.  Hello it's, what you have to look forward too.  But like I said before I would respect the decision to say no kids, and now that my little boy is a toddler, I wouldn't want to bring him becuase he is a distraction.

alabaster_angel

AlexPuppy:

my DH seems to think it would be no big deal.

I guarantee his opinion would change if you told him he was in charge of babysitting.

lindsay.lou

As a guest, I definitely prefer it when baby showers are kid-free. You shouldn't feel guilty for saying no. Yes, her feelings might be hurt but if you let ONE person bring their kid, then every other parent's feelings will be hurt.

lindsay.lou

Oh and the hostess shouldn't have told her it's up to YOU. That puts you in a crappy position. It's up to HER, she's the hostess.