Is it a faux pas to "host" my own shower?

Noysy

I have a great group of friends from work who are planning to throw me a baby shower. I offered to have it at my house for two reasons: 1) I feel awkward and greedy having a party where I'll be receiving gifts and not contributing to the event at all, 2) Rather than have separate showers, I would like to include non-work friends and thought having it at my house would be a neutral venue for everybody.

My friends agreed that I should have it wherever I wanted it, but I'm not sure they know how involved I want to be with the planning. I'd like to be able to give them a list of the other people I'd like to invite (6-8 people), and want to provide the food/drink. But I don't want to take the event from them entirely and would love it they still did the decorating, favors, games etc.

Will it be rude of me to be "hosting" my own shower in this case?

hopefulmom

As long as someone else is down on your invite as the host and guests RSVP to her and she actually "runs" the show.  I would explain what you would like to do and see how they react.  If you are supplying the food and drinks I doubt they would care if you wanted to invite a few others.  BTW...my DD's shower was held in her own home.  Her BFF lives an hour away and my DD lived central to everyone else coming.  Plus, the baby was already born so it made it easier all the way around. 

RoxyLynn

It sounds like you're overstepping your bounds a bit by assigning them the tasks you don't want to do, and particularly by adding to the guest list.  If they're hosting, then THEY are hosting and they call the shots.

EastCoastBride

Having it at your house is fine - but there is no reason why they can't handle everything else.   

12bailey18

RoxyLynn:

It sounds like you're overstepping your bounds a bit by assigning them the tasks you don't want to do, and particularly by adding to the guest list.  If they're hosting, then THEY are hosting and they call the shots.

This is what I was thinking. You can have it at your house and give them the list of people you'd like to invite but everything else is overstepping.  

Noysy

thanks for the input!! It's my first baby, and I wasn't sure what the etiquette was. I'll just let them know that they can use my house as the venue and give them that list of additional guests. Is it still ok to offer to provide some of the food?

EastCoastBride

You can offer!  But if they say "no", just let it go.

RoxyLynn

Before you ask them to accommodate extra people (which will drive up the expense), ask how many people you can invite.  Then keep it within their limit.  If that allows for your other friends and they weren't planning to just host a work-folks shower, great.  If not, so be it.

Ginger

I would be really off-put if I offered to host a work shower for someone and then they wanted to expand it to include all their out-of-work friends.

Edit: Even if you're offering to pay for the extra people, it's still rude.

Sue_sue

Yes, it's a faux pas. Please don't do this. Trust that your friends or loved ones will throw you a shower, and leave it at that. It is never correct to throw yourself a shower; it is never correct to ask to horn in on someone else's party, especially if you are the guest of honor, and ask to invite a bunch of people YOU want to attend. Never never.

 

 

seniah_05

After going over the guest list, I offered to pay for guests that may fall beyond the hostesses means.

blancanyc69

my husband and I are throwing our own couples shower, it's just easier for us to invite who we want, have it where we want and have the kind of food we want.

green bean

 I think its fine to offer to have it at your house, is there any other place close to your house that you might want to have it at incase they seem wierded out by having it at your house,? You might pull one of the ladies that offered to host the baby shower for you aside and see how they would feel about adding non work friends,