Concerned about my nephew . . .

meghans30

And I know it is none of my business, but his lack of social skills, and language is hard to ignore; especially when my 2yo surpasses his 3 yo cousin.

My brother and I have a strained relationship. He and his wife adopted a baby through the foster care system. He went straight from the hospital to their home. He is roughly 1.5 years older than my youngest. He does not try to engage my oldest son, does not connect with me or my mother. Each time we see him it is like he is a stranger. He has no connection to anyone besides his dad. Does not like to be cuddled, language is delayed. Today, every time my son would even go near him he would scream. He did not try to figure out why a toy would not work, and would not ask for help. He did not interact with any adult.

I have a son with special needs, and want to reach out to them, but they do not share any information with us. I just really want to help and at least know how to best engage this child, but also know that it is NOMB. So, do I continue to ignore his strange behaviors? 

Snowbride02

Does your mom have a better relationship with your brother than you do?  Sometimes I go through my mom to relay messages to my siblings regarding my nieces and nephews.  My one sister is a disaster and isn't the best parent.  So if I see something weird with her kids I usually mention it to my mom and get her opinion on it.  Then if she thinks it's something to be concerned about, she talks to my sister.  If that isn't an option and you feel pretty strongly about helping your nephew, then mention it to your brother in a helpful, supportive way.

DandelionMom

This is probably a MYOB kind of thing.  There's probably something going on and they're not comfortable telling anyone yet. 

reemarie81

Do your relatives have any information on the child's birth parents in regards to theri medical history?  I work in foster care agency and a lot children have problems.  Birth mom could have drank, used drugs or didn't have any prenatal care.  Or the birth parents could have a mental health issue that he may now have.  I would have someone talk to the parents either you or your mom.  He may need some kind of evaluation to determine his needs.  Let me know what you find out!

meghans30

reemarie81:

Do your relatives have any information on the child's birth parents in regards to theri medical history?  I work in foster care agency and a lot children have problems.  Birth mom could have drank, used drugs or didn't have any prenatal care.  Or the birth parents could have a mental health issue that he may now have.  I would have someone talk to the parents either you or your mom.  He may need some kind of evaluation to determine his needs.  Let me know what you find out!

His mother is bi-polar and was taking medication for that while pregnant. he has other siblings which have all been adopted. I really just want to be supportive.  

reemarie81

He may have issues with being bi-polar.  Just be there when they need you!!  I think you said you had a special needs child so you understand.  GL!!!