I'll admit it: I am spoiled and always have been

Jamaica_Bride

I grew up not needing for anything within reason. My parents paid for my cars (until I was 24) but I paid insurance/ maintenance on all of them. The first 2 were rather nice but beaters and my 3rd car was brand spankin new off the lot (that was you get for being this >< close to breaking you neck in an accident). My parents bought it for me cash. I was and have been  more than grateful.

My parents also piad for my education 100% but I had to maintain a 3.5 for them to continue to fork over the cash. I also worked full time while in college with a double major (biology and chemistry). I graduated with honors from both HS and college.

I was FAR from a brat and like to think I am ot one now (but I do have my moments )

I work VERY hard for what I/we have and plan on raising my guys the same way.

 

Flame on ladies...

StephNJer

I grew up kind of spoiled too. I was an only child, so I usually had a lot more than my friends. But my parents raised me to always appreciate things. To this day my mom always says they spoiled me, but not to the extreme. They got me a car when I was 16, but it wasn't brand new. I also had a job my Senior year and voluntarily paid for a lot of things on my own. I LOVED having my own money to do with whatever I wanted.

august0605bride

Honestly, these anti-buying stuff posts are ALWAYS about jealousy.

eclaires

We might be the same person. 

Seriously though - my parents gave me a lot, but they expected a lot too.  It's not like I screwed around while they showered me with cash.  They were also consistent - I graduated in the top of my class and my college was paid for as long as I maintained good grades.  My brother screwed around in high school and had to pay for his college initially until he showed good grades and dedication.  Then they paid him back for what he had paid.

MH was raised similarly, minus new cars, but he never wanted for anything.  His parents expected a lot too.

We'll do the same for our kids.

Brewster

We were always middle of the road growing up.  My parents sent us to all girl's Catholic school (so it was $$$).  We were probably by far on the lower end in that situation, but would have just been average at public school.  I never felt bad for the things I had or didn't have.  My sis and I shared a car.  We both worked for fun $.  Our family usually just did smaller road trips for vacations.  Over all, if anything I think it taught me the sacrifices you make for yours kids.  I want my kids to have/be raised the same way. 

EMT

Me too on all of it. Though there is a fine line. My brother was raised the same way as I was and he seems to have trouble NOT relying on my parents even as an adult. He always knows they will bail him out (not out of jail, nothing serious but I mean will bail him out with money so he is very irresponsible with it) and it has been a hindrance for him I think.

This is not a flame but I am curious, do you think your parents really would have cut you off if you did not get a 3.5?

I'm trying to figure out where that balance is going to be with my kids because while it worked well on me (if I do say so myself , the same parenting/mentality has left my OLDER brother still reliant on our parents.

Brewster

EMT:

This is not a flame but I am curious, do you think your parents really would have cut you off if you did not get a 3.5?

I'm trying to figure out where that balance is going to be with my kids because while it worked well on me (if I do say so myself , the same parenting/mentality has left my OLDER brother still reliant on our parents.

My parents paid for me to go to a tutor.   I got my first C in 2nd grade and years later was diagnosed with learning disabilities.  My sister was always in honor society.  Big difference.  For my parents, they just looked at the effort we put into things. There is no way they could have expected a certain GPA from me or for my sister and I to have the same expectations.   I do not think equal is always fair.  I think when our kids are older it will be easier to distinguish and then parent accordingly. 

Andrewsgal

I was and am still spoiled by my parents. They paid for my cars/gas/insurrance all the way through college. They paid for my whole education and spending money. We never wanted for anything and were never told we could not afford something.

I don't think I am a brat (maybe I would never know). I also am a great money manager and have a great work ethic.

EMT

Good point Brewster.  I do remember hating the fact that the rules were different for me than they were for him though .  Maybe it's best to set realistic expectations for each kid based on what's right for each kid BUT I do think that you have to follow through with your threats too (i.e. if a 3.5 is the expectation you have set, you have to do what you said you were going to do when not attained).

I guess the struggle is I wanted to get the 3.5 for myself and not just because my parents would continue to pay. How do you instill motivation especially while 'spoiling' them?

joy143dh

Oh my, I was totally spoiled and a brat at times.  My older sisters still resent me.   My parents paid for college and cars.  There was always an understanding that I would have a job at 14 and pay my own way after college and move out by 23 (I bought my own condo at 20).   Fast forward to now and I am a very hard working, appreciative, and generous person.  I think there is a difference between being spoiled & responsible and being spoiled & not-accountable. 

Chrisy-Wyobride

My DH was raised the same way...he got EVERYTHING he wanted...including a convertible for his first car, private schools, paid for college/grad school, any toy or electronic he wanted.  He never worked AT ALL until he finished college.  He always got close to straight As & has never been/acted like a spoiled brat...just the opposite, he was the dream kid.  That being said his 2 little brothers did not do the same thing & are very immature & relied on their parents far too long for the basics.  But they are finally growing up now that they are close to 30--LOL!  That being said MIL still spoils DH (& me) & the girls big time--She was "spoiled" as an only child (at all, no cousins even) herself--hell she lived in the city but even had a pony for example).  It's a family tradition on his side & I am glad I married into it-- )