I really didn't want to CIO...

NYBride0813

I know about the unhealthy consequences of CIO so I really don't want to go there, but I don't know what to do. DS cosleeps with us all night long, which I love, but here are the main issues:

-He never sleeps longer than 2-3 hours. The last two hours before wakeup (4ish-6ish), he cries/wakes up every 10-45 minutes. On average, he is up about 10x a night.

-When he cries, I nurse him, which works most of the time (sometimes he will nurse and then still cry a little bit and nothing to get him to stop - I've tried shushing, walking/rocking, etc.)

-He is the lightest sleeper EVER. The second I get into bed, he cries. If I move the cover, or even move my leg if we are cuddling, he cries/wakes.

I don't want to stop cosleeping. So, my question is, is it still CIO if we let him cry if hes in bed with us (and trying not to nurse right away)? I thought maybe every couple days/week, I would wait increasingly amount of time before offering to nurse. Has anyone tried this? If we are with him the whole time, are the negative consequences of CIO averted?

KimberJEB

Have you read No Cry Sleep Solution?  If not, get it and read it. It talks about co-sleeping (in a positive fashion) and the suck to sleep association and how to break that.  I also really liked Sleepless in America.

Also, though, when Jack was 8 months and then again at 10 months he started some really bad sleep phases.  Has your ds always been like this, or is it a new thing?  He may be in a growth/developmental spurt.

And to answer your REAL question, I don't think it is CIO if you are in bed with your child and just not giving him what he wants - he CAN'T always have what he wants, but if you are present and loving, I don't think that's CIO.  

KimberJEB

Oh.  Can you have your dh try to comfort him when he wakes up? Maybe give him a minute or 2 to see if he's really awake, then have DH snuggle or pat him? See if he can get to sleep without nursing? 

I'm also learning, as Jack gets older, that he sleeps better alone.  Currently, that means him on my king bed and DH and I are on a bed on the floor (yes, I know that has to change), but we're going to try to swap that pretty soon. Once I get in bed with him he's up a lot more.  I don't know if it's because he can smell me and wants to nurse, or if it's just having a person in his space (my current guess), but he's actually starting to want to sleep alone.  It may be worth a try to see.  

Dobie_Mama

My answer is no - if you are there with him, comforting him (even if not with the boob), it is not CIO.  It is also not CIO if Dad takes over and tries to comfort him because there is still that constant reassurance and interaction.

I would also recommend checking out the No Cry Sleep Solution.  The Toddler version.  Like the PP said, there are a lot of tips in there on breaking the suck to sleep association, even while co-sleeping.  It helped us cut down DD's night wakings when she was up 8x's per night.  I highly recommend it!

GL! 

Sally J

Many babies go through a sleep regression between 8-10 months.  My DS did it right around 9.5 months and at his worst he was waking every hour, so 12x per night.  We were also cosleeping, but had been working to transition him out of our bed and into his crib, although still in our room.

I highly recommend NCSS to help reduce night wakings, but continue cosleeping.  I bought the baby version not the toddler version at 10 months old and by 12 months old he was waking only once per night.  Until you get the book, here are the things that helped us reduce night wakings:

-Remove suck to sleep association using Pantlye's pull-off method

-Have my DH attempt to soothe before offering the breast

-Add white noise to help him stay asleep

-Move away from my DS when he unlatched at night so my breast wasn't the first thing he woke up to

-Institute a strict bedtime routine that lasted an hour

EcoBaby

DS is exactly the same as yours! Around 5-6, he cluster feeds, switches sides, won't stay asleep. I've actually started falling asleep earlier at night because I can't stay up any later, so now when he wakes up to cluster feed, I am just awake for the day.