XP from TTCAL: Introduction (LONG)

tradster2007

Hello!

I finally posted my story today on the TTCAL board, but because I have spent probably even more time on the MC/PL board I wanted to repost it here. 

I have been on this board and the MC/PL board daily (sometimes multiple times a day) since I lost my baby in September.  I can honestly say that I would not have made it through the past 6 weeks without being able to lurk or "spy" on others that have been going through the same thing.  So here is my story. 

DH and I have been together for 10 years (married almost 2) and we decided in April that it was definitely time to start TTC.  On our 3rd attempt, we are absolutely ecstatic to get a BFP on 8/15/09.  I was very adament that I did not want to tell ANYONE until at least 12 weeks ago.  I'm not sure why, but in retrospect I'm glad I did.  I did let my husband tell his 2 best friends.  The reason I gave him was that if something bad did happen, I wouldn't be able to take care of him and he would need his friends to get him through it.  Little did I know that just a few weeks later, he would need their support. 

I started spotting on Tuesday 9/15/09 and called my doctor.  This was my first pregnancy and I was freaking out!  The nurse said it was normal, but to go to ER if it got to heavy bleeding or cramping.  By 7:00 that night, I was cramping pretty badly and we went to the hospital.  They did an ultrasound and bloodwork and said that there was no heartbeat and that the baby was measuring around 7 weeks.  They called it a threatened abortion (hate that term) and told me to have follow-up bloodwork with my OBGYN in the next few days. 

The next morning, I called and made an appointment for blood work but I never made it.  Wednesday 9/16/09 was a day I will never forget.  My cramps and bleeding got progressively worse and at around 7:00, I passed the baby.  I passed everything whole (sac with baby in it) and I'm truly glad I got to see it.  As traumatic and painful as it was at this time, I can't imagine not ever seeing what DH and I had created. 

I bled for about a week and went back to doctor.  She did an ultrasound and said it looked like I had a few more blood clots left to pass, but she did not seem concerned.  I ended up taking about 6 days off from work and then went back.  We have since told my boss, best friend and my family.  DH still has not told his parents and I'm not sure he ever will.  He feels like it would only make them sad and wants to spare them what we have had to go through. 

So, now here I am, six weeks later and I'm desperate to try again!  I just want to know where AF is!!  My cycles have always been a bit long (32-35 days) but come on!  My doctor said we are fine to start after 1st AF, so why is she taking so long to get here?  Emotionally, I still have bad days (normally when I watch A Baby Story on TLC - why do I torture myself?), but we are both ready to get back to work TTCing. 

So I hope that now that I have broken my lurker status, I can become an active part of supporting and encouraging those going through the same things as me.  Thank you to everyone for all the help you have already given me (even though you didn't know it at the time!)    

kshields104

I'm sorry for your loss.  But I hear ya, I m/c this weekend and am waiting for AF, so we can start ttc again. I hope it works this time around!

Cissi64

Sorry for your loss.  Lurk all you want.  You will find a lot of sympathy here. 

SpeedGlenn

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Tomorrow will mark 3 weeks since my D&E (I was almost 10wks, baby measured the same).  As of today, I'm still chemically pregnant.  In other words, I still can make a positive pregnancy test.  I'm assuming at least one more week until my levels get down to zero, and then I'll probably have another 4 weeks until I see a period.  I know that may not be the news you want to hear, but that's just an example of how long it can take for your body to stop producing HCG the pregnancy hormone.

If you haven't gotten a period by 8 weeks, you might call your doc to be seen again and make sure there isn't something that is making your body think it's still pg.

Good luck.

tradster2007

SpeedGlenn:

Thank you for the information re: your levels.  I took a HPT about 2 weeks after my m/c and it was very faintly positive.  I've taken several the past few weeks (DH and I BD a few times a couple weeks ago) and I was hoping that maybe, just maybe we had just skipped AF and gone right to PG again.  Unfortunately, every HPT I have taken since then (including today) was negative.  I hope that means that my levels are down and I just need to wait a few more weeks. 

I was planning on calling doc tomorrow to ask for advice, but I greatly appreciate you taking the time to respond and offer your story too. 

I'm sorry for your loss and all the others on this board.   

 

SpeedGlenn

I'm happy I could offer a little bit of guidance.  It's a really tough time to navigate through.  Like I said, this is all just guess work on my part.  It's really hard to be patient when all you want to do is make a plan and that plan is contingent on your period.

Hopefully it helped a little.