I am the DCP that left out the pen
LOL. And it wasn't that someone posted about all the bad things I did. I made a post about TV watching while I prepared lunch, because the 2 year old I watch got ahold of the lone pen that was within reach. That I was using to fill out their daily report sheets. Here it is: https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/21397966.aspx
I also think there is a huge bias from certain posters about in-home childcare. I'm pretty awesome. 
I have a bachelors in Early Childhood Education and a masters in Special Education. So (most of the time) I know what I am doing. And I would doubt that I would ever mix up a child's bottles, but then again I only watch 1 child who still takes bottles... 
I know there are many great in-home childcare providers who absolutely LOVE their job. And then there are some that do it for the money and that is it. You just have to find the right care for your family. In-home or center or nanny or family - whatever works for you.
I work really very very hard, and it does bother me that people have such a stereotype against in-home childcare.
And, just in case you are wondering, I probably do lurk on here every day during the little 15min to 30 min break I get when naps finally overlap and I finally get to sit down and eat - so I am not on the bump all day!!! This is why I don't post much, because it takes too much time!
And I am looking for you guys to talk about cute crafts/actvities that your daycare uses so that I can steal them for my kids too! (Maybe I will make another post for that one day too!)
Just thought I would clear up some misconceptions from the post below and go off on a couple of tangents too...
Re: I am the DCP that left out the pen
I missed that the first time around! I also answered your poll!
Eh, stuff happens. It's a pen, not a big deal, IMO. We have done both an in-home and a center, and I am MUCH happier with the in-home. To each their own.
Can you help answer some of the issues/concerns that I (and I think several others) have with in-home DCP? I am truly interested from the other side. This is not snark at all.
My concerns:
- DCP is watching TV all day, and not engaging my child. How will I know?
- DCP is not accountable for actions and may take aggravations out on my child (i.e. hit, spank) without anyone else there to witness it. My child is too young to tell me otherwise
- If in-home DCP gets sick, wants to take vacation, I have to find a back-up
The video of a nanny smcking an infant on the head with a wooden spoon that I saw on the news when I was 18 or so has been seared into my mind. I cannot get that image out of my head 13 years later and it is the only thing I think of when I think of in-home DCP. It is biased and sterotyping - agreed. But I cannot help think - what if?
I'm not a DCP, but I will answer from my own experience...
You have to trust your DCP, just like a sitter in your home, or like how you trust Grandma or an Aunt that babysits for you. I 100% completely trust my DCP, if she asked for my credit card and ss# I would give it to her in a heartbeat. I know that she turns the TV on sometimes, but it's Sesame Street or Dora, not The Young and The Restless. (which, BTW, when i was a kid I watched soaps with my DCP all day, every day, and I turned out just fine)
Fear of spanking or hurting...again, you have to trust the person. The Center we went with initally had a very high turnover rate, and i never knew any of the 19 year old girls that were holding my baby when I went in to get her. Literally, every week there was a new employee in there alone with the kids. They didn't have video cameras in the infant/toddler room, so realistically, I would never know what was happening in there. Also, read the post yesterday about the "wrong bottle given at daycare center", bad stuff can happen anywhere.
My DCP has 2 backups if she's sick or on vacation. Last week her MIL watched my DD while they took a family trip to Disneyland.
Daycare centers also have televisions. There have been several stories from centers that have resulted in the harm and even death of children. Yes DCP take vacations and get sick, they are people to. I know that the licensed in-home DCPs in my area have to have backups available in the event they get sick or there is an emergency during the day. Vacations however, they do close. What is seared into my mind is about a year ago the lady that got mad at the baby at the center she was working at and slammed it down to the ground and then the baby crawled over to a chair with his blanket and died. There were other people there....noone stopped it or did anything until it was to late. Things happen everywhere.
I am also not a DCP but I'll try and answer. We use an in-home and have been very happy.
For the first two questions, you check up with referrals. When I interviewed in-home providers they gave me the names and numbers of other parents whose children they watch. I called and got their input. We've now made good friends with the other families and we hang out on the weekends. If something was going on I would hope one of us, or our children, would pick up on it.
Also, I visited their homes. The in-home we chose doesn't even have a tv in the room where the kids play. She has a written schedule the kids follow. The older kids have a preschool lesson every day. She is licensed and required to follow the rules of the state. She has unplanned visits by social services. I can look up her license number and see if she has any violations. It's really the same as picking a center. You go with someone you absolutely trust.
As far as vacation and sick days we have a contract we signed which outlines all that. She has preset vacation days every year and a couple of built in sick days. However, she does her best to use a back up if she's sick. Most of her vacation days correspond with our vacation days so there's not too much inconvenience.
I'm with momofolivia. The only way I would in-home daycare is if I had nannycam's all over the place.
Thank you to the OP! I remembered the gist of the post, but couldn't remember the details... I totally forgot that it was a DCP who posted about the pen, not a parent.
To answer momofolivia's concerns...
- TV: My daughter watches TV in her daycare center. Actually, she watches more TV now than she did when she was in in-home situations. You cannot assume that daycare center = no TV and in-home daycare = TV.
- Accountability: This can be a problem at daycare centers too. I think every child in daycare has at least one point every day where they are with only one provider. For example, when I came to pick DD up a few days ago, she was in the bathroom alone with one teacher while the other teacher and kids were two rooms away. I trust that teacher and know nothing bad was happening, but the opportunity is there for a bad person to take advantage of. Also, just because there are MORE adults around at a daycare center does not mean all of them (or even most of them) are QUALITY adults, i.e. adults who will speak up if they see a child being mistreated. At some point, you have to trust your provider, whether it's one person or an entire center full of them.
- Finding back-ups: PP's have mentioned that some providers do have backups, which is true. And to give a completely different perspective, if your own child gets sick less often due to being in a smaller environment, then it may work out to be roughly equivalent for you, KWIM? And it's a lot easier to find backup care with plenty of notice (in the situation where your provider takes vacation) or for a well child (in the situation where your provider is sick), as opposed to finding backup care for a sick child!
I'm certainly not saying that NONE of these things are EVER a problem at ANY in-home daycare. There are plenty of awful in-home daycares out there. But there are plenty of awful daycare centers out there too. Presumably, you did your homework and found one that is NOT awful. You can do the same for an in-home daycare.
That said, I'm not trying to convince anyone that they should switch from a center to an in-home daycare. Heck, my own daughter is in a center right now, and no, I'm not considering switching her at this time.
I'm just saying, it gets frustrating to see these biases/stereotypes perpetuated over and over -- especially if it could potentially discourage people from even considering in-home care, when there are so many wonderful in-home providers out there! (OP, if you ever move to the Dallas area, let me know
)
Mommy to DD1 (June 2007), DS (January 2010), DD2 (July 2012), and The Next One (EDD 3/31/2015)
Thanks for posting!
I love my in home center as well. I visit this board frequently and notice that MOST negative daycare posts are about centers. I'm not against centers and will certainly consider one when my DD gets older. I don't understand why it has to be such a debate.
And really, those of you who thought the breastmilk mix up was over reacting.......seriously??? They fed her kid another woman's body fluid. GROSS!
Flyer - I PPH you and your opinions on childcare.
You just let me know if you ever move to Ohio!
To answer some questions that I read, and I probably won't get all of them. Truly, there is not very many people that I trust totally completely and 100%. I really believe that when you are choosing childcare for your child you have to have faith and really just go with what is best for your family. Do random drop-bys to see what really goes on during the day. You will know if your child is watching TV all day. You should be able to see developmentally appropriate activities happening with your children as soon as you see them! Listen to the communication between adults and children.
And I hate to say it write it or think it, but bad things happen in so many different situations. I like to be all sunshine and rainbows and pretend like nothing bad ever happens to children and I am getting teary eyed as I even think about people being mean to children... But sadly it does.
I know every one of us on this board wants the best for our children and so we agonize over every decision when it comes to their care when we are not able to be with them. I really think you will know when you find the best childcare for your child. There may be miniscule things about their care that you don't exactly agree on, but overall you should be happy with it and if you are not- keep looking! Someone perfect for your family is out there!
Oh and as far as sick days... as a former teacher, right now I watch all teachers children, so my vacation will be over the summer. If my daughter gets sick, my DH or mom will watch her. If I get sick, unfortunately, I will have to close. I rarely get sick(and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I don't!) and the times I have had dr appointments, my mom has come over to care for the children. All the parents have met her and were comfortable with this before it happened. The important thing is that your DCP has a plan in place before a situation were to arrise and that you are aware of it and are comfortable with it.
Given that you have a masters in psychology I am not sure I want to argue with you... And I won't really, but...
Every adult has a breaking point, really? Like I guess to a certain degree... but I would consider some breaking points to be totally separate from children. Like I would consider my breaking point to be if something totally horrible happened, like remember that guy who slapped someone else's child in walmart because they were crying? Like if I was that Mom, I could see THAT being my breaking point.
I could NEVER EVER EVER see my breaking point be against an innocent child or even a mouthy preschooler... I have taught kids with special needs and with severe behavior issues that have really gotten me angry. But never to resort to any type of abuse. You could argue "that was in a school with other adults around", but kids are alone in classrooms with teachers all the time... especially ones with behavior issues who have to be separate from others to "cool down".
I have parents in and out of my house at different points in the day. So I think there is a little more than a 0% chance. I know there are lots of bad people out there in the world, but I also think there are lots of good people too...
I missed all of this. The pen thing made me LOL. It wasn't a lighter or gun, for gods sake.
There's a definite bias against in-homes on here. But most of it is based on assumptions and misconceptions. All I can say is that we are thrilled beyond belief with our in-home provider. She is amazing, comes up with things I would never think of, has the patience of a saint, and is just wonderful - as are the young ladies who work with her. They are truly people that my child benefits from being around.
I know what works for my family. Centers were never it. I looked at them, and they aren't for us. Nor were a lot of the in-homes we looked at. Generalizations don't really work for kids and child care.