Stay at Home Moms

How do you divide up household duties?

Hi ladies!  I'm normally here lurking, but we recently made the definite decision for me to be a SAHM once baby is born in Jan!  I am really excited, and also a little nervous. :)

My question is:  How do you and DH divide up the household duties?  My DH works full time, and I will be working part time from home.  I currently (working part time from home and part time outside of the home) do all the bills, and most of the cleaning, while DH does most of the cooking and helps some with cleaning (once in a while.;)) 

When you started staying home, did EVERY household chore become your responsibility?  I am really overwhelmed by the idea of all bills, all cleaning, all shopping, all cooking, AND all childcare, and my DH is really helpful, especially if I'm clear about what I need him to do.  He really likes to know for sure what he's responsible for and what I will take care of.

I would love some suggestions on which things are most realistic to get done during the day with the baby, and which things I should sit down and talk to my DH about being his responsibility most of the time.  What works for you guys?



Re: How do you divide up household duties?

  • Sounds like you have a good support system. When I was working DH and I had alot of the same responsibilities that you listed for each of us. I handled bills, cooking and dropping off kids at school and some cleaning. He handled picking up kids and some cleaning on top of working a 12-15 hour shift. Now that I am at home, obviously this is my job now. I have an 11 year old who does have chores everyday which include taking out trash, making bed, tiding up room and sometimes dishes. I handle all other cleaning and my three year old is in charge of picking up living room toys or blankets etc... On the weekend the only thing I really ask my husband to handle is cleaning the shower and tub because I have a bad back. I do all cooking and most other cleaning. On Saturdays my oldest does help with dusting and sometimes vaccuming. It is hard during the day to get things done around house but it all comes together and some days are alot more tough than others. I actually just a few days ago posted asking if people have a cleaning daily schedule or how they get all their housework done on top of having a family.
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  • We kind of kept things as they were. DH knows how to cook, so he does the cooking, I do the cleaning. Other cleaning chores are left to me, but he does the recycling and yard work (which is a lot considering we have 3.5 acres). In cold weather, he also brings in the fuel and loads our pellet stove. I think it's a pretty fair division of duties.
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  • DH does the bills and all the outside work.  I do everything else.
  • I just take care of the baby every day -- no housework, other than heating up meals and cleaning up the kitchen afterward.

    On the weekend, I do laundry, deep cleaning, bills, and prepare meals to freeze for the week. 

    DH takes care of DD after he gets home from work until bedtime.  He also takes primary responsibility for her all of Saturday.  He goes grocery shopping with her from a prepared list. 

    But otherwise, I take care of all the household stuff.  It's not overwhelming because, frankly, I'm not the cleanest person. :)  Neat and tidy is good enough for me until the weekend comes.

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  • I'm responsible for all of the housework.  If I were working and DH were staying home with DD, I'd be pissed if I had to come home and do laundry or something when he'd been home all day.  So, I figure it's my responsibility to take care of all that.

    Yes, there are days where DD is fussy and I can't get stuff done.  But, I can make it up at another time.

    I do still have a cleaning lady who comes in every other week, but I'm thinking we'll be canceling her soon, and then it'll be all me.

    DH is responsible for everything outside, and he manages most of the money stuff because he's very into trading stocks, etc., but I pay any paper bills that come to the house.

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  • imageDarcyLongfellow:

    I'm responsible for all of the housework.  If I were working and DH were staying home with DD, I'd be pissed if I had to come home and do laundry or something when he'd been home all day.  So, I figure it's my responsibility to take care of all that


    This.  DH does help out on the weekends if I ask him, but I pretty much take care of everything. 

  • I do all the housework- dishes, laundry, vaccuming, bathrooms, mopping, kitchen, outside lawn work, taking out the trash, meal planning, grocery shopping, dusting,  etc.

    DH- feeds and scoops the cats, and pays the bills. He feeds Gisele dinner most nights (i cook), and he bathes and puts her to bed (only because i am at class 4 nights a week from 6-10).

    Weekends are family time. No cleaning, no errands unless it is something we all want to do.

    Least i can do- i try to make the most out of weekends because that is pretty much the only time i get to see DH.

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  • Hubby works and makes the money. I do everything else.  He will help watch the baby from 6-7:30 and give the bath if I ask and pretty much get everything set up for him.  Otherwise he feels that he works and therefore should come home and do nothing.  I am not dealing with this well and have alot of resentment.  We are in counseling and I keep hoping that one day he will step up and help me.   
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  • DH spends time with DS during the week and weekends and I get my "me time" breaks then.  DH also does all the outside yard work, trash taking, car repairs, occasional cooking, and helps with the dishes.  I do the bills, all house cleaning, laundry, the majority of the cooking, and most of the dishes.

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