3am and we're up...please help!

kellnbri

I just don't know what to do anymore.  My kids don't sleep.  When they wake up in the middle of the night it takes hours to get them back to sleep.  DS wants me to read books and sit in his chair.  He'll go to sleep only to wake up 15 minutes later and want to do it all over again.  DH and I are at our wits ends.  It go so bad this morning that DH threatened to take all his books away and not go TorT on Saturday.  I just dont know how to get them to sleep.  He goes to bed great...usually between 7:30 and 8. 

SymphonyGirl

Maybe you need to be less interactive with him during the middle of night wake ups, like just lay him back down--no books, no sitting in his chair-- and repeat as many times as needed.  I'm sure he'll be upset about it at first, but he'll get the idea that 3am is not playtime.  Good luck!

neverblushed

It might be time to take a slightly more "hardcore" approach.  Especially with your older child, who can be reasoned with a little more.

He has learned that when he wakes at night, he can expect entertainment and help from you in falling back to sleep.  You need to help him learn that he can do it for himself.

I would start with no lights on, no stories, no getting out of bed (other than a quick trip to the potty if necessary). 

I would say to my toddler/preschooler "Nighttime is for sleeping, and we sleep in bed.  Yes, sometimes all people wake up at night.  But when we wake up and it's still nighttime, people need to stay in bed and think about sleepy thoughts until they fall back to sleep again.  All kids learn how to do this and you're going to learn how to do this too!"

Then follow through.  If he comes to your room, gently escort him back to bed and tuck him in.  Repeat the speech above.  Tell him you'll see him in the morning.  If he comes in your room again, repeat. 

You have to be consistent in putting the responsibility for falling back to sleep on HIM!

And don't feel sorry for him or guilty for doing this!  You are teaching him a necessary skill.  Be strong, mom!

kellnbri

I get all that...but what do you do when he is throwing a fit and screaming and crying.  He will not stay in the bed.  He wakes up DD when he does this, and I'm sure he's waking the neighbors too (we live in a townhouse)

mrshutch

SymphonyGirl:

Maybe you need to be less interactive with him during the middle of night wake ups, like just lay him back down--no books, no sitting in his chair-- and repeat as many times as needed.  I'm sure he'll be upset about it at first, but he'll get the idea that 3am is not playtime.  Good luck!

I agree with this and it's always been my approach w/ DD. Thankfully, she's not getting up in the middle of the night, but on the occasion she does, I don't say much, make sure she's comfortable and kiss her, tell her "night-night" and put her in her bed. I then repeat this as many times as I need to. GL- I so hope this trend doesn't continue- that's so exhausting!

musicgirl03

My daughter use to do that.  So we made her stay up until 11:30 one night and she slept all night long.  Make you kids go to bed later

brightning

SymphonyGirl:

Maybe you need to be less interactive with him during the middle of night wake ups, like just lay him back down--no books, no sitting in his chair-- and repeat as many times as needed.  I'm sure he'll be upset about it at first, but he'll get the idea that 3am is not playtime.  Good luck!

Ditto. I'd come in, say "It's bedtime." Tuck him in, kisses, and goodbye. Repeat until he gets the point.

CubbyMama

kellnbri:

I get all that...but what do you do when he is throwing a fit and screaming and crying.  He will not stay in the bed.  He wakes up DD when he does this, and I'm sure he's waking the neighbors too (we live in a townhouse)

I agree with the PP's, and I'm sure he's smart enough to realize that being loud works, so that's why he does it.  Unfortunately, I think you're going to have to have a few rough nights of tantrums until he figures out that it's not working anymore, but he's old enough for you to explain it to him ahead of time...as long as you're consistent.  If you declare "no more stories, no more getting up" and then give in when he screams and throws a fit, he'll be more likely to persist in the future.  It's hard, I know!

jessica1080

kellnbri:

I get all that...but what do you do when he is throwing a fit and screaming and crying.  He will not stay in the bed.  He wakes up DD when he does this, and I'm sure he's waking the neighbors too (we live in a townhouse)

I get what you are saying because my DD does this sometimes too and there is NO reasoning with her.  I think pp have good ideas, and sometimes it works, but sometimes it does NOT (DD is very strong willed and loud!).  She never gives up and we end up being up longer. 

What we have started doing is saying okay, you want to go in the living room and read a book, okay, fine.  I make her look at me in the eyes while I tell her that we are going to read ONE book and then we have to go back to sleep/night-night.  I make sure that she understands that we are only going to read ONE.  Most of the time she accepts this and it has significantly cut down on the time we are up and I also think it has cut back on her getting up in the first place.  ::knock on wood::. 

I also tell her that everyone is still sleeping (in case she thinks she is missing something).  I say Daddy is asleep, Papa is asleep, Grandma is asleep, Nana is asleep, etc.  And sometimes she will ask and so and so? and I say yes so and so is asleep too.  It seems to reassure her for some reason!  Can't hurt to try it!