- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Preemies
FutureMrsDenman
member
~~~ cinnamonbuns28 ~~~
FutureMrsDenman
member
in Preemies
I forgot when I wrote earlier that we had company coming over tonight so I am getting back to the board much later than I thought I would. Anyway ... In addition to the similarities I mentioned beofre (28 weeker, hospital 1 hr away, etc.) I wanted to also touch on a couple other subjects you brought up just in case my experience might be of any comfort for you ...
Baby Shower - I hadn't had my baby shower before DD was born either. I didn't know what to do about it at first. And, honestly, at first we didn't even know if she was going to make it. But once she was coming into her own in the NICU and we felt a littl more comfortable with her progress we decided to go ahead and have a shower. It ended up being just a few weeks before she came home. I wanted to lighten the mood a bit - given the circumstances - and so I went to Motherhood Maternity and borrowed a maternity pillow. I put on a maternity outfit I had bought but was never actually big enough to wear and used the pillow and showed up at the shower sporting "the bump I never had". I wondered what I would have looked like at my biggest, and everyone there was jipped out of seeing me in all my pregnant glory (as they would have had this been a pre-baby shower). Everyone thought it was funny and took pictures touching my bump, etc. This might not be for everyone, but it was a definite mood elevator at my shower. At the shower I had a special table of DD related things ... her first NICU outfit to show just how tiny she was, her footprints, pictures of her in the NICU, and other things to represent her and let them start to understand where she was, what she was going through, and who she was - a fiesty little fighter. The shower was something I really had mixed feelings about before I did it, but I am so glad I let them throw one for me.
Baby's Room at Home - Like you, we had NOTHING ready for the baby when she was born. But her NICU stay (up until almost her due date) gave us some time to get ready. I will admit, though, that her room still wasn't really complete until after she came home. And, in all honesty, she/we didn't use her room for a LONG time after she came home. She was still so tiny when she came home that we kept her in a bassinet next to our bed for the longest time, and diaper changes happened on a changing pad in our living room most days/nights - it was just the most convenient place. Everything will eventually come together. So don't stress too much about getting it done.
The images we had in mind at the beginning of our pregnancy about how the last trimester would be spent getting ready, etc. are hard to shake. And our children's early arrival creates its own set of new and different challenges and stresses that we could have never imagined we would be facing. But, when it comes to things like having showers, and taking time to work on nursery projects, etc. you can try to make those experiences as positive as possible for yourself. Celebrate your child's life at your shower (if you choose to go ahead with one when your LO is in the "home stretch" so to speak), and the hurdles that have been overcome. Receive your presents knowing that they will be used for your baby when he comes home just as they would have had you not already given birth. Try to think about the future on days like that especially - give yourself time to step away from the NICU fears and stress and look forward to better days to come. This goes for working on the baby's room as well.
Good luck on your journey! We'll be here for you for all the ups and downs along the way if you want/need us!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: ~~~ cinnamonbuns28 ~~~
-butting in-
I'm having my shower in 2 weeks, and I love your idea of having a baby-related table! What a great way to share your LO's story so far!
Your DD is gorgeous by the way!! I love her curls!
Thanks! We love her curls too, but it is getting to that time where I have to just make myself take her in to at least get the ends tipped. I've resisted a haircut this long because I don't want to loose the curls! waaaaaah!
I hope you really enjoy your shower! And that ti gives your freinds and relatives who haven't been able to visit the NICU a chance to understand what you're going through on a different level. One thing I will say is that I thought I would have to answer hard questions like "when is she coming home?" a million times. What I did, and it worked for me, was to stand up and talk about where we were and what we were facing in the days/weeks ahead so that I would just have to say it once. I told people the main "requirements" that have to be met before most babies can leave the NICU (no A's & B's for a week, all feeds by nippling, carseat test, etc.) and which ones Madeline was still working on. I told them that most, but not all preemies tend to come home around their due date, but that there were too many variables to say for sure. I also told them that we would love to show her off when she comes home, but that we would be facing restrictions on visitors and outings because of RSV season. I didn't make my "talk" (if that is what you want to call it) long or preachy or anything, just matter of fact informative so that everyone would be informed and I wouldn't have to answer so many questions that might make me emotional, etc.
thanks. dh was going to go to the shower, and we were thinking of getting a picture blown up and display it at the shower. and maybe his footprints in a frame. we have one scheduled for nov 15, so im not sure whether we will put it off or not. lil man is doing good, so if they stick with the 8 weeks, he will be home right around christmas day. maybe before, but im not wanting him home before he's ready. so maybe nov 15 will work out. im just still so emotional coming down from all the hormones, and then on top of that a baby in the NICU, and having to travel, and not having time or money. and for some reason some of the family doesn't understand that not everyone can just parade into the NICU, and when he gets out, we can't just pass him around at holidays, etc. i know they just don't get how easily he could get sick. so i don't know how we'll handle the holidays. i know even if he's home, he won't be at the shower. too many people.