Help me with these "behaviors" please.

DavezWife

My dear sweet 19 month old daughter becomes something of an annoying creature when daddy comes home at night. The SECOND he walks in the door she is on him like VELCRO... she wants him to go upstairs with her, she wants him to go downstairs with her... brush her teeth, take a bath, go to the potty, go outside, read a book, do this, do that... and it's not independent play like she's very proficient at during the day with me... he has to PLAY WITH HER, one on one...

poor guy can't get a second break. And she's REALLY intense. And if she does not get her way in the moment she wants it... oh lordie... watch out. We never have tantrums during the day. Never.  

I realize that much of this is just her age, and she's able to express her wants and needs, and part of it we're going to have to deal with.

But there's got to be some techniques to help us out here.

I feel bad for the guy, and she goes from this sweet laid back kid with me to panic mode when dad comes home, and it's hard!

thanks.

adri77

EEK- I don't know how to say this, but....I don't see the problem?  I mean, she misses her daddy, when he gets home, that's her time with him, and she is expressing her feelings the best way an 19 month knows how, to me it doesn't sound necessarily annoying, but normal.  Maybe b/c she's so good at independent play all day with you, she views her daddy coming home as time to play with someone.  The only thing I can suggest in your situation is finding something really special for you and DD to do at some point after DH gets home so he can maybe change, go to the bathroom etc. But other than that, DD is excited to see daddy and her actions seem par for the course, to me!

triplea1819

I do not see a problem with it, sorry.  eventually she will get out of the phase.

Ethan went through phases like this.  all he wanted was dad, all day long I would hear dada, dada. 

then other times, he is all about me and i can not leave his side or he cries. 

Home_slice

Hmm, not sure I have much advice. My daughter does similar things when Daddy comes home.. she just loves her daddy, I think because he plays with her a lot, like really plays. Anyway, maybe he can try something like play with her for 10 minutes, then says I need to go do this or that, when I'm done, I'll play with you again.. or something like that, to give him a break.  What if she doesn't see him, like if he goes to another room, or floor of the house, will she be distracted enough to forget about him for awhile? Hopefully it's a phase that will pass.

DavezWife

I get your point(s) but what I didn't make clear is that she's relentless. She continues this for hours. She cannot be distracted into something else, and it's wayyyy beyond her wanting daddy. It's just one long string of "make daddy jump thru my hoops" for 2 hours. I feel bad for him, she's wound up really tight, we're both tense... it's not comfortable. And nothing seems to stop or help it.

I hope it passes too, but she's one tenacious little girl, I do say.

Mrs.Hizzo

I still think this is normal behavior. She hasn't seen him all day, and she knows it's her last chance to see him until the next night. Of course she wants his undivided attention. My oldest is the same way, he sticks to his dad like glue until it's bedtime.

roseroseroseroserose

we Have been thru similar phases. One idea is for dh to sneak in and have some time alone before the Velcro begins. This way he can relax a minute and then play play play.

MoDchiCk

I think you just have to come up with "THEIR THING"   When I nannyed and the dad got home he(around the same age) started meeting daddy outside and crawling through the car and this would go on for at least 30 minutes then its time to _____________...When DaVez walks through door make big announcement ....ITS TIME FOR daddy drawing time or daddy doll time and then after sufficient time 20-30 min say oK now its time for mommy daddy time lets go do that  or right into dinner or whatever transition is next....

So their thing becomes what they do  ...draw...sing ....go to her room and play away from you ....shes trying to take the attention away from you and DH....

 

HTH