Question for mommies with children, regarding newborns! Please help!
Hi Girls heres my question!
My baby is due in two weeks and this is our first. My best friend lives 3 hours away she is so excited to come visit in the hospital the week the baby is born. She also has her heart set on spending Thanksgiving with us for 4 days which would be 3 weeks after the baby is born. The problem with all this is, is that she has a six year old daughter in Kindergarden at a big public school. Her daughter will be with her the whole time for both visits. Her daughter is my Goddaughter.
My issue and question is, I am worried that since my baby is a newborn she will catch all those grimmy germs that 6yr olds carry! Even if I have her wash her hands I still am wondering if just contact with her could get my newborn sick! (Rotovirus and all those things come to mind) I just don't know if I am overreacting and I don't know how to even begin this conversation with my best friend, I am sure she will get very offended.
How did you mommies handle this? Am I overreacting? Please give me some advice!
TIA Girls!
Re: Question for mommies with children, regarding newborns! Please help!
If you don't feel comfortable with the visit then I would let her know it's not advisable right now.
Our pediatrician told us to avoid people as much as possible the first 6 weeks.
My SIL didn't even bring our niece and nephew around my son after he was born. They visited without the kids.
You can always blame it on your pedi's advice, especially since H1N1 is a concern.
If a newborn gets a fever, it can mean a hospital stay and even a spinal tap to rule out menegitis.
I would say no. I would break it to her gently and say that with the flu being a problem, you just don't want to chance increasing the risk of you or your newborn catching something by having them stay with you since her child will be in closer contact with your baby by staying over.
When my husband's family came to visit 2 weeks after our son was born in November, I did not allow anyone to stay with me. Aside from the fact that I was recovering from a c-section, I didn't want to deal with house guests either!!
If she is truly your best friend, she will understand, even if she is a little bit hurt. After all, she has a child of her own and should know what you're going through as a new mom.
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I was (and still am 5 1/2 months later) extremely paranoid about things like this. My brothers in law are an 11yr old and a 6yr old (yes, imagine!) so this was very difficult for me to deal with. Since they're family and almost always with MIL they HAD to come over. What I do is (and yes this is probably going to sound psycho of me) I tell them to wash their hands as soon as they walk in followed by anti-bacterial. They're not allowed to touch LO's toys (he puts absolutely EVERYTHING in his mouth). They're not allowed to touch his hands (he also puts that in his mouth). They obviously can't carry him because they're too little so that's not an issue. And if they've been sick within 2 weeks they're not allowed near him.
So that's my crazy paranoia and the way I handle it. He's only been sick once and he caught it from the 6 year old who had been sick the week before he came to visit and MIL thought it would be "okay" for the 6 yr old to fake carry him. I was not okay with it but I wanted to be nice so I didn't call her out on it. Two days later my little guy couldn't stop coughing or sneezing and had a fever. Obviously kids WILL get sick, but being that their immune systems are so weak when they're so tiny, I don't like to take chances.
If you can just tell her no and explain it to her, I'm SURE being that she's a mother she'll understand. If not then you can steal some of my tips lol.
GL!
I think with proper handwashing, and assuming the kid has no symptoms of a cold, it's okay. I have a 10 year old nephew and 5 & 7 year old nieces that are like my kids, and they visited me in the hospital and were over everyday the first few weeks. Whenever they came in the house, they had to wash their hands immediately. If any of them had a stuffy/runny nose, they knew they were not allowed to be around the baby. FWIW, I work at Miami Children's Hospital and see sick kids all the time and I just make sure I wash my hands really well when I pick up DD from daycare.
Also, I know this is your first child, but what will you do when you have more children? Keep your first-born away from them?? That would be impossible!
Camryn Grace ~ July 6th, 2009 ~ 7lbs 9oz, 20.5"
Brayden Richard Drew ~ December 20, 2010~7lbs 9oz, 20"
That's what I keep telling myself to try to stop being paranoid about it. Very good point.
Its very normal to have those feeling when we have our babies but don't go crazy because then you won't enjoy life being so paranoid about germs.
I think that for the hospital visit you might want to check with your friend since most hospitals don't allow other kids unless is the sister/brother of the newborn.
At 3 weeks old I think that as long as your friend's kid is not sick or with any symptoms is ok. Don't let her touch the baby (if this makes you more relax) and if she wishes just make sure that she washes her hands and let her touch the legs or feet since the baby won't put those in her mouth yet...lol.
If you guys are truly best friends she would understand if you tell her that you are concern, that you still want her around but to put herself in your shoes and that if no one is sick you would love to have her but if not to wait a bit longer. I have been there and even though I don't agree or practice parenting the way my friends do I respect them and love them the same way.
Barbie
I think its great to have such a good friend who wants to be there for you and to help you out the first crucial weeks. I would count that as a blessing. Kids do have germs - but with proper hand hygiene, have lots of hand sanitizer available for everyone to use you should be fine. Just make sure anyone who comes into contact with your new baby doesn't have any illnesses, doesn't cough or sneeze on your baby (including yourself and husband) you should be okay and uses the sanitizer. And advise everyone if they are sick, have a cough, sore throat, etc. to STAY AWAY! But enjoy your time with your new baby, best friend, and goddaughter. I wouldn't worry too much.
I wouldn't want someone staying for 4 days 3 weeks after the birth but not because of germs.
You can't keep your baby in a bubble and I think keeping the kid away from eveyrone an everything for 6 weeks is very antiquated. My son was out and about almost right away and didn't get sick until he started daycare 2 months ago. We went to restaurants, the mall, the grociery store, etc and didn't have any problems.
I always laugh when I see people walking around with their baby in an infant carrier covered by a blanket. That is ridiculous, IMO. There is no protection whatesover there.
Everyone is different. You have to do what makes you comfortable. If you are going to cringe inside every time the 6 year old goes near the baby, then it is probably better to let her know you think its just too soon for a visit.
Personally, I don't think its a big deal. I started taking my son out on a daily basis when he was 2 weeks old and we attended a 1st birthday party with about 20 other babies when he was 4 weeks old.
With this next one, I will probably just be getting out of the hospital a few days before Easter,but I plan on bringing the baby to a relatives house for the holiday with a lot of family there. I am comfortable with that, though. You need to do what's right for you.