First off I wanted to mention that my dd passed with flying colors, her first M-Chat screening at her 18 month checkup today! Wasn't too suprised though-she is as typical as they come!
I was reading today an article that Autism Speaks posted on facebook regarding bullying. The stories I am reading make me sick to my stomach literally. I am just terrified about this happening to my son. Thankfully none of that happens right now at his preschool, his friends all adore him and plus he has his own aide that works with him one on one. I love the extra eyes on him. But, as he enters kindergarten and up, this issue makes me very nervous, as he may not get an aide through the school system. We will push for one, and if we cannot, we may go through a private/religious school.
What are your thoughts/experiences with this?
Re: Auntie, Breezey and other ASD mommas
It makes me super nervous.
DS is in a mixed age class with IEP kids and typical peers now, he is 3 and there are 4 and 5 year olds. I was so worried that they would notice his anti-social behavior and avoid him. I had a mini freak out 2 weeks ago, called the program coordinator and was able to arrange to come observe his class 2 days last week. I feel so much better now, the other kids didn't really notice when DS was being anti-social, none of them really played together and they all seemed about on the same level, socially.
But when he gets to elementary school I know the older kids will notice. MH and I have discussed this and private school is something we would consider if necessary and as long as we could get him the supports he needs.
I've been reassured by a couple teacher/therapists and my mom, who is a teacher, that most public schools are very different then when we were kids. There are so many kids receiving special ed supports that the stigma is no longer what it was. Special Ed kids are no longer kept in their own rooms, away from the typical kids, because of inclusion and team teaching. I am hoping this is the case, as it will break my heart to see DS singled out/bullied/made fun of (not to mention I'd lose my ***).
I can't let this enter into my reality yet but just to give you a little tidbit from a friend with a 2nd grade son. She recently said that he has tons of friends and everyone loves him!
then I recently met another mom with an 8 yr old daughter who recently had several neigborhood friends over in the same afternoon and turned to her mom and said "mom everyone is here to play with me"!
I like to see the hope in these
My son has Aspberger's and he does pretty well in school. His one MAJOR problem is not knowing when to leave someone alone. He is clingy and it makes other kids upset. My son doesn't realize this. There are some kids that are nice about it and there are just kids that will flat out tell him to leave him alone. This is one thing that I have been working on since day one with him.
Other than that, he makes friends pretty easily. He says that no one picks on him - of course there are some days that other kids tease him, but it is not that often.
This really worries me more and more as he gets older.
Thanks to Auntie as well.
Made me feel better to read your perspective...because in the back of my mind, I was always thinking how I won't be able to send my boy to a private school because we can't afford it and how my son may be in a disadvantage. But now I guess a good public school in a respectable school district may be our best bet....?
I am a middle school special education teacher who also has an ASD younger brother. Middle school is prime breeding ground for bullying, so hopefully i can offer a little help
From a professional standpoint, I can speak from a public school perspective. The best advice I can give you is to try to find an ally within the school (teacher, paraprofessional, adminstrator) to adovcate for your child. I go for the throats of any kid that bullies one of my students and do not take bullying lightly. Having a good relationship with my parents helps me to know whats going on when Im not looking and gives me the opportunity to teach my students essential skills, like self-advocating and ways to appropriately respond to situations.
From a personal standpoint, everyone is bullied. My brother was no exception. He, like the rest of us, got through it. The best thing my mom did for him was advocate for him, but also give him the opportunity to solve some minor conflicts on his own (with guidance, of course!) This helped him to learn the invaluable tool of conflict resolution.
My best advice to you is to keep your radar up for potentialy harmful situations for your child, but also to work with your child to learn preventative skills. Teaching your child how to avoid conflict and what steps to take when conflict does arise will be far more helpful than simply dealing with the situation for them. Kids with ASD often do not learn skills inherently - they have to be taught.