Parents of BITERS, please come in...

jswanda1

Apparently, my 22 month old son has a biting problem.  For the past 4 or 5 months, he has been biting his friends at daycare.  He averages about 1-2 bites per week, typically bites while he is in a struggle for a toy, but they claim he occasionally bites randomly and out of nowhere.

Today was a BAD biting day.  He tried to bite 6 times, but only succeeded twice.  The daycare director set an appointment up with us to discuss his biting.  She wants us to meet with her and my son's teacher to discuss options/solutions, etc.  The problem is, we've been the parents of a biter twice now.  My older son was exactly the same at the exact same age. In fact, that's why we left the other daycare center, because they would make us come in from work and pick up our child if he bit someone. They were unwilling to work with us and to help with the biting issue.  They just punished us by making us take time off work and take our child home from daycare.  Fortunately, this center isn't doing that... yet.

With our oldest, we found that only 2 things solved the biting problem: 

1. TIME... biting is a normal, natural phase of child development. He grew out of it by 2 1/2 or 3 years old. 

2. Moving son up to another classroom where he isn't bored and isn't the biggest kid anymore.  Right now, he is the biggest and oldest child in his class.  He should be in the 2 year old room (he's 2 months away from being a 2 year old).  The 2 year old room has more toys and bigger kids.  He won't bite and bully them.  And he'll be busier and more stimulated by new toys, new surrounding, and new, bigger friends.

I'm so tired of daycares having problems with this.  KIDS BITE.  I'm sorry if your child gets bit by mine.  I probably feel worse than you, and more embarrassed.  I'm the one with the "bad kid" and the "bully."  There's nothing going on in our house or family... it's just personality, temperment, and natural child development.  I'm so irritated that when other kick, hit, pinch, push MY child, it's no big deal...  people get so worked up over biting and are so emotional about it.  What about hitting, pinching, kicking?!??!  At least my biter doesn't do that... 

Sorry, this was more of a vent, but does anyone have any ideas on what I can say to the teacher and director?  TIA

jlw2505

Honestly, I think you are right on.  So many people are so fast to say send the kids home but that doesn't solve the issue.  I would suggest having your child moved up to the next room or at least going to visit if they can't move him up full time yet.  I would talk about the experience you had with your older child.  This is a phase and kids do outgrow it.

PaigeC1981

I agree with you.  Hope it gets better soon.