Would this step on any toes?

MissFreo

The name Thomas has been my #1 choice for years now.  A month ago, my uncle, also named Thomas, passed away suddenly.  He has three daughters, all of whom are about my age - none have kids yet, but are at that point in their lives where they could soon. 

Do you think it would offend them or step on toes if we named a DS Thomas?  It would not be "after" my uncle in the sense that I've always loved that name....but then again, it's not NOT after him, and I'd be proud to tell a DS what a great man he was and all of his great qualities.

I guess I'm worried that my cousins may feel like I took that name from them...or what right do I have to name my son after their father, since he was just my uncle.  I am not close to these cousins at all -- they live on the other side of the country, we only see each other at weddings maybe once every five years.  We are certainly not close enough that I could ask them "hey what do you think of this?" -- really, we don't talk at all.  I guess I could talk to my Aunt (it was her DH that passed) but I don't think she'd have a problem with it, she'd probably be honored -- it would really be my cousins that I am worried about stepping on their toes.  But maybe I'm just being overly sensitive.

While certainly nothing would prevent my cousins from also naming their future sons Thomas, I guess I just don't want it to come off like I'm trying to horn in on their family, especially since he died suddenly and fairly young.

Would appreciate any thoughts you have on this - thanks!

TripMomma

Since you all are not close and they don't live near by I think it would be OK...but I bet they may be a little miffed.

wheelenl

TripMomma:

Since you all are not close and they don't live near by I think it would be OK...but I bet they may be a little miffed.

If you're not close physically or otherwise, I wouldn't worry too much about it. They might be a little miffed, like she said, but they are just cousins, and Thomas is not an incredibly rare name. 

I really like the name, BTW.

hellomynameisfabulous

If you had a closer relationship I'd be hesitant to use it, but since you don't I say fair game.

HawaiiBrideGrm

Talk it up with other family so that word gets around that it's always been your #1 name. Do it. If you don't , you'll regret it. And you're not close to them so they will get over it and they can also use it. Who cares. I have a cousin with my exact name. It's not wierd for us.

PrincessLinLin

They may be honored to hear that you've named your son after their father, maybe they would have never chosen the name for their children at all. If that is the name you absolutely love for your child then do what makes you happy!

secuccaro

I think it is ok to use it.  But it is nice of you to be so considerate of your cousins (especially since you aren't close). 

maple669

PrincessLinLin:

They may be honored to hear that you've named your son after their father, maybe they would have never chosen the name for their children at all. If that is the name you absolutely love for your child then do what makes you happy!

 

I agree totally. I see no problem with it whatsoever

FutureMrs.Steen

Go for it. Love the name Thomas!

shortstuff15

It's your uncles name, and therefore if your cousins so choose to use the name, it's not like your kids and their kids will be comparing names.  My husband and I liked a name, but then a lot of our friends started using it or variations of it and one of them was his cousin.  But we both figured that because our kids and his cousins kids were only 2nd cousins it was still ok.  We didn't end up deciding on that name because of other reasons, but your situation is still not a close enough relative to really matter I don't think.

 My sister named her daughter my favorite girls name, so I gave that name up as a first name so that cousins wouldn't have the same name, but we still incorporated it into a middle name.  If they really want to use it, then they will regardless of what you decide.

jiffy-pop

Yeah, I have some cousins like that. It would bother me if one of them named their kid a name that I wanted especially if it was my dad. I would check with them first.

seniah_05

If it were me (as child of the deceased) I'd be annoyed only if we were like BFF cousins. 

But seriously - if I had to take into consideration every cousin's feelings/names/parents' names - I'd have no names left as I have 39 first cousins (parents are 1 of 6 and 1 of 7)) and DH has 53 (parents 1 of 5 and 1 of 12).