Not comfortable with a male ob/gyn

debbadebbadoo711

I have never seen a male ob/gyn, and I have been seeing my current ob/gyn for about 10 years and I have been very happy with her.  The practice has 5 doctors, 3 female and 2 male. To my ABSOLUTE HORROR I found out that I will be "rotated" amongst the 5 doctors during the course of my prenatal visits!  I tried to express my concerns about this to the nurse, but she kind of brushed me off saying I would "get used to it" and I needed to be examined by all 5 doctors because my baby will be deilvered by whatever doctor is on call and at that point  "I wont' care anymore." EXCUSE me??

Since talking to some other mom's I have heard this is common.  However, I KNOW I am not the only women that does NOT feel comfortable being examined by a male doctor. Is there anything I can do? Am I going to need to change to another practice? Should I talk to MY doctor? Do I have to make up some religious excuse? This is really causing me to have a lot of stress!

I know when the big moment comes, I probably won't care if the Man on the Moon is delivering my baby, but in the meantime, I really don't want the added stress of being poked and prodded by some new male doctors!

superaunt

I'm actually just the opposite. Have seen both male and female and prefer male but that's all personal opinion, of course.

You should be able to talk to your doctor and at least request that you been primarily by her but yes, it's typical in larger practices to be seen by ALL because you just never know who will be there for the delivery. Would you feel more comfortable if you brought your DH or someone in the room with you during the male exams? 

GL.

redness4

I would absolutely talk with your doctor.  I have been with a male OB for over 10 years and am very comfortable with him, but have several friends who prefer females.  My OB is in a practice with 5 other physicians, and I have known all along that whoever is on call when I go into labor will be the one to deliver my child.  However, all of my prenatal visits are scheduled with my doctor.  I don't understand the sense of being rotated for the prenatal visits and actually find the continuity of care with the same physician, regardless of who delivers, to make more sense.  It's not like if you see each doctor once or twice they will necessarily remember you when the time comes.  And if you are more comfortable seeing your specific physician for all prenatal care, then I think that should be your right as the patient. 

serrill2

I had a male OB/Gyn for both of my older children, as well as a male L and D nurse in training.  They were awesome, and I never felt uncomfortable.  I actually prefer them to the care I am getting now with all women caregivers.

lilacfritz

I'm sorry you feel stressed about this.  I would talk with your doctor, but as PP said, this is much more common than not.  Something to keep in mind for OB visits is that many of them are quick and involve listening to the baby's heartbeat and later measuring your belly, but no internal exams, etc.  It's kind of a good chance to get to know doctors before the later visits (36 weeks and on) when you have your cultures and internals done.

Again, totally personal preference but the very best OB I know is male.  I like being delivered by midwives, but he would absolutely be my doctor choice. 

UTKD

Personally, I would not be comfortable with a male OB/GYN.  I had one very early on, when I was a teenager, and although I didn't mind it then, I have come to realize since then that I feel so much more comfortable with the female GYN I started seeing in college.  I am now seeing her partner, another female.  I don't think it makes sense to rotate doctors for prenatal visits; I prefer continuity and having a doctor who is very familiar with me and my medical history.  But, then again, I am high risk, so I see my OB and a peri (also a female) every other week, and it would be hectic to see a different OB each time.  If you have a normal PG and are only going to have a few prenatal visits, then maybe you can see a female OB for the initial physical exam (when they pap) and a male OB for u/s and routine appts.  I would discuss this with your female OB if it stresses you out.  You do not need any additional stress right now! 

At L&D time, I'm not going to care who is there; at that point I will just want the baby out of me!     

Julia-Henry

In my experience, the only guarantee that you will not have a male OB is to switch to an all-female practice. Even then, there will be men in the room when you deliver - nurses, other doc's (pediatrician, interns), etc.

And if you are not going to switch practices, then you might as well schedule your appts with the male OBs and get them out of the way before 36 weeks, which is when they start doing internal exams. Before that, they'll just look at/touch/measure/listen to your belly.

I believe that if you feel this strongly, then it is up to you to change practices. Your OBs should not have to accomodate personal preferences or prejudices against either men or women obstetricians.

debbadebbadoo711

Thank you for the replies.  I was not aware that every visit did not involve an internal examination.  I am new at this.  I certainly do not have a problem seeing a male doctor for those visits.  I am just not comfortable with a man examining me internally. For the record, this does not make me prejudiced against male physicians, and I do think a practice would want to make their patients as comfortable as possible.

redheadedgirl

Just one more thought.  Personally I like my male OB and the practice is mixed.  That said at first I was going to advise you to get used to all the Dr's since anyone could be delivering you baby, but putting myself in your position I would recommend you do what makes YOU feel OK.  Talk to your regular Dr and express your concerns, and while she may not understand them go with what you are OK with.  This whole thing is stressful enough without folks around you telling you to get over your fears and apprehensions.   If you need to change Doctors to make sure you have a women deliver you then do that if it's better for you.  (My mini rant today stems from a hospital tour where I was told how lucky women at my hospital are for being able to get an Epi so quickly and that they have a 95% epi rate to prove it.  That's great but I want to go drug free.  And when I mentioned this I was blown off with a "that's nice we'll see how it goes"  No it's my body I call the shots - just as you should be allowed to do!)

redsox_baby

I am sorry this is a source of stress for you. However, I would encourage you to work on the issue now instead of potentially at your delivery. The last thing you need is to be on edge during delivery even more than you will be anyway. Besides except for the first and the last one or two appts., there is no nakedness involved - just showing your belly.

I also go to a large practice, but they do not force anyone to rotate who they see for appointments. BUT if a patient has pains, bleeding, etc., you get the first available appt. with whoever is available.

That happened to me, and it turned out it was my first encounter with a male OB-GYN. He did have to do an exam and an FFN to make sure I wasn't in preterm labor. I had to get over my preference because my baby's life was depending on it.

Also, as for the religious claim - I don't know about your practice, but at mine they have had issues with this so every OB patient signs a form stating that they cannot and will not guarantee the gender of the doctor for any specific patient's L&D and/or urgent appts. You may have already agreed to such, as well, so claiming a religious issue may not fly.

 So the long and short of it is that I am TOTALLY sympathetic to your concern and apprehension. I do, however, think the healthiest thing for you to do will be to see if you can work on it. Oh, and BTW, every practice I have ever been at either mandates or at least allows by request a female nurse to observe any exams carried out by a male OB in case your're concerned about inappropriateness.