oh i could hurt him

Malli Jane

So tomorrow my DD's father and I agreed on me driving two hours to his house so he could finally meet her. During work tonight I get a text from him telling me that he got a job and has to work and I won't be able to come up. I was fine with it since I was glad he finally got a job after a year of not working. I get home and find out that he is actually going to visit his new gf in NYC. I could kick his ass right now. I wish I could see his face when he finds out I'm filing for child support because he doesn't think I am going to. Eff, I am so mad at him right now, I am also going to stop offering for him to meet her now, there seems to be no point. I feel so bad for my little girl. 

Did I mention his gf is 19 and he is 26, I have no idea why that bothers me so much but it does, ohhh so f'n much. I think it's because I'm about 99.9% sure she has NO idea he has a daughter.

Okay vent over, I just needed to get it out! 

fauxshelley

Grrrrr!  That would piss me off too.  Go get him!  Make him pay for your sweet girl.  I'm sorry you have to deal with this, you both deserve better.

cabbage5215

I'm sorry BD is such a dbag.  If I were you I would establish a parenting plan and CS through the courts, ASAP.  Not to "get him" or to be vindictive but to protect you and your daughter in the future. 

My DD also has an extremely flaky BD so I do know exactly how you feel.  I little opposite of you, though.  DD's BD wants to show her off at "events" but when it is just him he skips visitation or cuts it early without a second thought.  Yes, it is annoying but I know that DD will always have at least one person who will ALWAYS be there for her and never skip out on her(me).  I can't control his actions- so yes it stills annoys me but I have learned to be there for DD and let the rest roll right off.

It is best to be the bigger person for your child even if BD is a huge Dche.  So, please do not start getting in the mindset that he should "pay" because he is screwing you and DD over.  That can only lead to more ugliness.  He does need to take responsibilities for his actions- and yes he should be supporting your daughter financially.  If he gets upset about that then that is his problem not yours. 

As far as reaching out to him and him repeatedly blowing you off I would stop doing that.  It is wonderful that you were doing that but he keeps cancelling on you.  It sounds like it is stressful to you.  Document how many times you have tried to set up a get together and how many times he has declined.  If he reaches out to you then don't withhold visitation.

Luckily your dd is young enough that she has no idea what he is supposed to be.  His loss.   She does know that she loves you more than anyone or anything in the world.  Just keep your head up, be the better person and everything will work out for you and your LO.