0-3er needs sleep help/advice

MissionImpossible

Hi all.  I am looking for some words of wisdom from someone who has been there.  I have 3 kids, 3y, 2y, and 4weeks.  My first two were adopted as babies, but not newborns.  My third is my biological child, so I am not a new mom, but I am a new newborn mom.

Here is the problem.  How, when and where should this child sleep?  He hates the bassinette, loves the moses basket on the pack n play in the living room, and is ok sometimes in his crib at night.  But I keep waking him to eat--thinking it will help him sleep more. He wakes about every 3 hours anyway.  I try to keep him active during the day, but he LOVES to sleep during the day.

  Although my mom is here helping (I am a newly single mom-H left out of the blue at 5 months pg to live with his girlfriend), neither of us seem to sleep much.  We just don't have a schedule down yet--I know it is on demand--but how did you all manage? When did some sort of schedule start to emerge, and what, if anything, did you do to get on a night time sleep schedule?   TIA--sorry so long.

 

blessed_wife

I'm sorry you are going through this!

What helps DD is that we give her a bath everyday at the same time (around 9pm) and she goes straight to sleep afterwards....

 

jenn11980

I don't think I really did anything to get DS on a schedule.  I remember about 4 weeks though he had his day and nights mixed up and that worked itself out within a week or two.  Around 8 weeks he started really setting his own schedule.  He wanted to be in bed by 8 otherwise he screams and gets overtired.  I'm sorry I can't be more help.  A friend IRL is going through the same thing.  Her DH is away a lot for work, weeks at a time, so she pretty much has her three kids by herself.  Good luck!

krstokes

Honestly, Kay didn't start a schedule until about 2 mths. She was a wake and feed every three hours baby as well! I think the only advice I can give you is to hang in there, it will get better

BTW- I wouldn't wake to feed at night ( unless adviced by pedi ) as that may get LO into a schedule of waking.

emlady

I wouldn't worry about waking to feed unless your baby has a weight concern.  Let him sleep as long as he will.  Some nights my baby is happy sleeping in his crib and some nights he wakes up all the time if he isn't in bed next to me.  If co-sleeping is cool with you, I'd try it.  The rest is worth it.  GL and bless you mama, you're amazing.

shipian

If LO is back up to birth weight, which at his age I'm assuming he is, you shouldn't have to wake him to eat.  You are encouraging the habit of waking through the night. Have you ever just let him sleep? If so, what was his longest stretch?

Edit: Hoping this didn't come off snotty, totally not my intention!

emlady

And also, as PP said, don't expect a schedule too soon.  We didn't notice any patterns until 2 mos or so but there was plenty of sleep.

smellycat15

I'm sorry you're going through this!

DD gave me a hard time in the beginning. I tried my best to give her a schedule to get use to. I made it dark and quiet around 8ish so she would know it was bed time. I think she started going to bed every night at 8-8:30 around 2 months. I just went with the flow with her feedings and naps when she was that age. If she was hungry, she was fed. When she was tired, she napped and so on.

Good luck! 

MissionImpossible

Wow--thanks for the good ideas.  I too think I am encouraging him to wake by feeding.  I think I got into the habit because he spent some time in the NICU due to hypoglycemia, but is now fine and is a healthy 8.5 pounds.  The docs insist he can now eat when he wants, so I think I need to listen to them rather than force feed him!

I am glad to hear that at 4 weeks things were still kind of crazy--I feel behind schedule.  I am also in the middle of the court battle H is dragging me through (he is such a tool-he just met his only bio child 2 days ago because the court is basically encouraging him to, was too busy with his new life to come to the NICU or hospital when baby arrived) so I think I am high anxiety and I wake at every little grunt LO makes. 

The bath idea is good too, and I wish he would co sleep--I have a little cosleeper in my bed but when he gets in it he thinks it is playtime...Thanks all.  I may be back with more questions...:)

shipian

MissionImpossible:

Wow--thanks for the good ideas.  I too think I am encouraging him to wake by feeding.  I think I got into the habit because he spent some time in the NICU due to hypoglycemia, but is now fine and is a healthy 8.5 pounds.  The docs insist he can now eat when he wants, so I think I need to listen to them rather than force feed him!

I am glad to hear that at 4 weeks things were still kind of crazy--I feel behind schedule.  I am also in the middle of the court battle H is dragging me through (he is such a tool-he just met his only bio child 2 days ago because the court is basically encouraging him to, was too busy with his new life to come to the NICU or hospital when baby arrived) so I think I am high anxiety and I wake at every little grunt LO makes. 

The bath idea is good too, and I wish he would co sleep--I have a little cosleeper in my bed but when he gets in it he thinks it is playtime...Thanks all.  I may be back with more questions...:)

So sorry you are having to deal with all this with a new baby and two other children!  GL!

mollymurphy

I'm so sorry you're going through this...

Hang in there: our baby's schedule just sort of evolved before our eyes w/o much intervention from the two of us...we just watched cues and tried to adjust accordingly. FWIW, we didn't see a pattern start to emerge until right around 7 wks: before that, it was pretty willy-nilly, and I was really hoping that the unscheduled craziness wouldn't last forever b/c I couldn't ever predict what would happen when...thankfully, it didn't! 

At 7 wks, he started to sleep longer stretches at night and dropped his first night feed. At 8 wks, he dropped the last of his night feeds and STTN. I can't really explain how/why he (thankfully) fell into his own routine...but we did make a concious effort to ensure that he was eating frequently enough during the day (not really a problem b/c he was eating every 2-3 hours during daylight hours. The other things that we did consistently was try to keep evenings as calm, quiet and dimly lit as possible...we would also do a bath in the evenings and we didn't swaddle during daytime or for naps, but as soon as bath/feeding was over, we would swaddle and put him down. I credit the swaddle w/helping him sleep longer stretches at night.

All in all, though, if he slept for long stretches at the age your LO is, great. If not (or fussed), we just kept on w/consistent a evening 'routine', but if it went out the window one night, no biggie. We just did the best we could b/c as everybody knows, you can't force your schedule on them that young...all you can do is watch and do your best to encourage a calm environment when it's time for sleep.

As far as a consistent time for his bedtime 'routine', that didn't really evolve until maybe 12-14 wks. and now he almost craves the consistency and we start things around 7:30ish: Hang in there: a routine may be closer than you think...just keep watching...