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Parenting
Inflexible bedtimes: it's not always the parent
My KIDS are inflexible, not me 
I am all about celebrating holidays, but when they're off their schedules, it's hell on wheels! A lot of people in PMQ's post blamed parents for being too rigid, but my 1 and 3 y/o need sleep when they need it, you know?
(and they go to bed at 7 and 8 and sleep until 6)
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Re: Inflexible bedtimes: it's not always the parent
I know what you mean-- people who replied were just like "Oh she's too rigid" But I have had the horrid kids at the fun party, and I feel that pain, you know?
I agree. I'd rather leave early or not go then deal with cranky, overtired child. Like I said in the other post I don't impose my schedule on others, but I don't change bedtimes either.
Although it does irritate me when people (like, oh say, my MIL) will plan a holiday or other meal/event at bedtime for no other reason than because she wants to, not because of work or anything else. And then get pissed when I don't go and don't bring Lila.
I get what you are saying, but I think if your kid has to be in their own bed by 7p every.single.night. then you should expect to miss out on a lot of things.
It's not fair to an entire extended family, especially those who work, to start any kind of holiday activity any earlier than 6p.
This is me too. I once told my mom that we could not go out to dinner at 7pm on a Friday because by the time we'd get seated and served, DD would be freaking out. She and my BIL both commented on how rigid I am with her bedtime and I said, believe me, it's not me, it's her! I decided to give DD the benefit of the doubt (she'd had a late nap that day) and sure enough, ten minutes past her normal bedtime she started having a fit and the food hadn't even arrived yet.
ETA: I fully accept that since she's this way, there's a lot of things we can't/won't attend. Comes with the parenting territory
Throwing leaves
They don't have to be, but they act like tired kids when they're up too late. And actually? We don't miss out on anything-- in fact, we get a date night in our own living room almost every night, and it's always been easy to find sitters b/c the kids are asleep most of the evening
Whenever I read these, I think it's a matter of tolerance. My child might be whiney or whatever for a little while... but she'll either do what Jodi said, or we'll park her with a Christmas movie and let her rest. If she's up half the night, so what? It's Christmas Eve. We're usually up late anyway.
I can see not wanting to go out to dinner at 9:00. But a family party? Who cares if they're grouchy/whiney?
Ditto. DS really needs to be in bed by 7:30 - 8 pm b/c he doesn't nap anymore. I certainly would not take him out to a restaurant in the evening b/c that is a recipe for disaster. But, he gets his second wind and is fine at my parents or ILs house. We wouldn't miss out on a holiday b/c of it. And ,if it was a huge problem, I would host.
Yes, I now know that they do. Before having a second DC I followed DD's cues very closely. Now I know she can actually stay up and have fun if something's going on.
Yeah, it just sucks for us because my SIL's kids go to bed at 10 or 11, so they do';t eat dinner until 7 or 8. Mine go to bed at 7 and 8 and are used to dinner at 5. It's really hard to sit down with two little kids for a fancy dinner at bedtime. We tried to be sports and just put them to bed when they got tired last year, but her kids were screaming and yelling and banging on doors, and our kids were just miserable.
This is exactly how I feel. You know that we have kids who need to be in bed at a certain time. If you want us there, then plan accordingly because we have no problem missing out on the celebration if we need to get our kids to bed.
And as I said before...you kid is only going to need these routine bed times for a few years. In the grand scheme of things, you have many years to stay at your IL's house late celebrating Christmas. This is why I like to have stuff at my house. We can put the kids to bed and continue on.
I'm just going to sit here and be glad that my kid is basically the only kid on both sides of our families. We impose his schedule and our needs on everyone! LOL.
I'm kidding, really, b/c he's a night owl. He has a blast running around with the older kids at family parties even though they are my cousins and a good 8 years older than he is, so he never gets tired and cranky - he's having too much fun.
I don't mind a few nights here and there where his schedule is out of whack, though, because he's easy.
Although I'm fully aware not all kids are like that.
There was no such thing as a schedule when we were growing up. We spent the night many-a-time over my parents' best friend's house --- they played cards until all hours of the night and we set up air mattresses in the living room and crashed whenever.
I pretty much raise Joey and Cam the same way. We always have people over (at least 2 times a month) until midnight or later --- the kids stay up that late.
I grew up with a schedule and thrived on it. DS is the same way. When we stick to his schedule most days he is good. That does not stop us from going out and keeping him up later, but later to him is 9pm. He is in bed by 7:30 or he gets cranky. and no ds does not get a 2nd wind. he cries and cries then throws himself on the floor, and trips and cries. it is horrible.
We went to friends house last weekend. We stayed until 8:45/9ish when DS spilled his water everywhere and flipped out. no matter what we did he was not stopping, because he was over tired. so we had to leave. the other couple was like, ohh it is ok, but when you can not talk or do anything because your kid is hysterical, you just have to leave.
I never thought of it like that but you're right. It is a tolerance thing for me anyway. When DS is tired he starts to act out/whine and I just feel GUILTY b/c he's a poor child who is up past his bedtime and it's not his fault that he's acting that way.
I didn't see the OP but for us anyway we just don't (or rarely) go to something that starts late. We might stay ate for sure if he's OK. But overall I have a pretty low tolerance for the tired crankies.