When / how / if...to tell everyone else in the circle?

laineybix

How & when did you tell people outside of the close friends & family list? Did you announce it on FB? Send out an email? Our family and some VERY close friends know, and so far everyone has been good about the requested silence on FB. We sent a cute 1 minute Youtube video to the extended family. We are kind of private people and I'd rather not give everyone pregnancy 'fatigue' or deal with TONS of questions and advice for the next 5 months......BUT we do have lots of friends from the places we've lived, schools, work, etc. I work out of my home office and have not yet told work...planning to in about a week or so.  I'm 35 and my husband is 40...considering we've been together for so long, many have written us off as far as having kids. This will be a BIG surprise to many. We are just at 17 weeks. I'm not in maternity clothes yet and can hide the little bump I have for a little while longer. Do we just let people figure it out when I really start showing?Comments, thoughts? 

YaraC

We told parents/siblings and my BFF right away., through variety of methods (Mother's Day card, phone calls and even email). When the time came to tell the rest of the world  (for us that was 13 weeks), we emailed and called good friends then announced on FB.  I told my boss, in person, around the same time but no one else at work knew until after my big u/s when I posted a pic of my sonogram on my door with a note that said, "It's A Girl".

 I wouldn't rely on showing to let people know. The way shirts are made today and the fear of being wrong will keep most people from commenting on your growing belly.

sciteach

I think it really depends on your comfort level. You just have to do what feels right. It is hard to do the wait until you are showing thing, because smart people won't ask until after you come back with no tummy and a kid in hand!  

With #1 we told our family and close friends around 11w, and then as it came up told others. There were definitely a few people who got the email birth announcement and had no idea I was even pregnant. FB wasn't an issue for me 3 years ago...

This time, we had visits with family and a wedding to attend I was 5-6w pg, so people figured it out because I wasn't drinking ( for me to not have at least one glass of wine means something is up lol.)  My preference would have been to wait until 10-12w. I'm still trying to figure out the FB thing, am thinking after the big u/s I'll come out with it. 

superaunt

Because of a previous loss, we waited to tell our parents until 12 weeks. We told siblings around 14 weeks and at that point allowed the few who knew to spread the word.  I think I announced it on FB around 17 weeks. I'm not a minute-by-minute FB status updater, but I do make updates every so often, and when it's pregnancy related it's big news - liek when we found it was a girl, or when daddy felt her kick for the first time.  And frankly, I don't care if people get tired of reading it. I'm 37 and have waited a long time to become a mom and I'm not going to sugar coat it.

Really it's up to what you want.  I'm usually not a big "look at me" type of person, but I LOVE being pregnant and LOVE that I'm about to FINALLY become a mom so I'm proud of my bump, etc.  I have a 'friend', on the other hand, who says nothing about her pregnancy and actually tries to cover herself so the bump isn't obvious (she's due in a week, too).  She never posts any kind of status updates or pictures or anything. If you didn't know her well, you wouldn't know she was even pregnant! It's like she's ashamed - which, I'm sorry, I jsut don't understand. 

so if you want people to know, make an announcement. if you want it spread by word of mouth, tell those you've told that they can spread the word if they want...

GL.

violetblue72

When - I say now!  It's so fun to tell people and the more people excited about your new little baby on the way the better in my opinion!  You've waited a long time to have news like this to share so milk it.  

How - Hard to say, I called/met in person really close friends and then sent an email to some of my other friends all at the same time so no one technically knew before anyone else.

NHnative

Due to 2 previous losses, we waited until the 20 week ultrasound for all but parents (told them at 10 weeks). I wasn't really showing until 2 weeks ago. I am private too and I have never been sorry for not telling people sooner.

tkcarnes

It is personal choice, I told my mom, dad and sister when I found out I was pregnant. I had two previous m/c and did not want to tell anyone else until my 1st tri screen was over and I was into my second trimester. I let my MIL know after the screen but told her not to tell anyone else yet. Well that did not work out well, she told someone in my dh family we do not talk to and it got back to someone we are close with who did not know yet and we wanted to tell them personally. I was a little upset. But there is nothing you can do after that.