I know this isn't the popular opinion but...

crazynervous

I really hate the no kids at weddings.  I see them as a family celebration and I find it so annoying when kids are looked at as a nusiance.  My brother and fiance are getting married in a month and the wedding isn't a no kids event but.  They have made it very clear they don't really want them there.  I am planning on getting a babysitter for the day to come with us to take the kids out if they are making noise but I really want the boys to celebrate with us too and if there are family pics I want them included.  I don't know I just get annoyed about it.  The bride just left a bit a go and had made a comment how ticked she would be if they made any noise.  God forbid!! I hope no one comes with a cough.  she also made a comment the other day how she can't sit my husband and kids at the family table by her dad because if they started to act up "He would make them be quiet" WTH! 

Like I said I know this isn't the popular opinion, but it is my opinion.

GreenEggs&Ham

my opinion too!

I had a beautiful eveing reception and let people bring kids (we have big families). I think i had over 20 kids there and the place made them all PB&Js and it was great.  They all behaved and looked beautiful and we not a nuisance at all.

KoriBrett

Weddings and funerals are family events for both our families.  Meaning, if you're family, you're expected to be there.  People would get mad if we didn't bring the kids. 

BUT - if someone says NO kids, we respect that and either don't go or find someone to watch them.  It's their day, they can decide who attends.  I don't get worked up about it, we just deal or don't go.  *shrug*

stacynikki

It's their wedding though and you have to respect that.  I only allowed kids of immediate family to be at my wedding.  I did ask everyone else to leave the kids at home. 

mlm1128

Well, I did something even less popular at my wedding.  I invited only the kids we were close to to be there. There are certain children, just like adults, that we really wanted there.  And they weren't quiet kids.

Emiliana7

I'm with you on that one. weddings to me are a family affair and event. I realize others think different and I am glad we are free to voice and have our own opinions. I specifically had an early reception so that kids could be able to enjoy the whoel shin-dig. Also I had kid friendly foods too (not everything, but some).

I had all the kids in my close family (and in laws) in the wedding party too. I had 2 jr bridesmaids, 2 flower girls, and 2 ring bearers- some may say that was overkill but I loved it! it was so cute and plenty of people loved it too. Actual the only compliants I got from the whoel thing was that I didn't have any alcohol at the reception and once explained the reason why didn't hear another word.

suzymarie

If a random friend or not-close relative had a no kids wedding, I don't care.  I also probably won't come, because we can afford a sitter so rarely that no way am I going to waste it on a wedding.

If my bro or sis had a no-kids wedding I would be really hurt because I would like to think they love and care about their niece and nephew enough to want them there.  I would respect their wishes but I would be pissed.

Some of my cousins weer making noise (talking) during our wedding.  WTH cares? 

butterbeansmama

stacynikki:

It's their wedding though and you have to respect that.  I only allowed kids of immediate family to be at my wedding.  I did ask everyone else to leave the kids at home. 

Ditto

mattslady

Hmmm.  I will confess that I usually DO think kids are a nuisance at these types of events.  If I'm all dressed up and trying to enjoy a nice dinner and cocktails with friends - I don't want to deal with kids. 

We did not have kids at our wedding and I haven't changed my mind about that since having kids. 

shopgirl_07

I'm not a big fan of kids at weddings, although I really don't care either way. But I have to say, sounds like she's being a little douchey about it. OK, kids are not invited, I'm sure you get her point, I don't see why she has to keep making these comments and digs.

happy_momma

I feel the same way! I don't take my kids along if they were not invited, but I have turned down many invitations rather than deal with the mess of trying to find a baby sitter for an out of town wedding.

Ciarrai

Personally, I love kids and invited everyone with kids to bring them to our wedding.  Weddings in our family are usually family events with the whole family going.  The kids love seeing their cousins and running around and everything.  BUT, I agree with some of the pp.  This is their wedding.  They deserve to have their "perfect" day as they/she always dreamed whether or not that included kids.  I wouldn't bring the girls knowing they weren't welcome.  I also don't bring them to non-family weddings because I enjoy the adult time.  I know this is a family wedding, but it's still their decision for their wedding.  If kids aren't welcome by the couple, I think people should get a sitter or not go.  It's their day.

crazynervous

shopgirl, thats the thing kids ARE invited!  I was actually asking her if it would be ok to bring a babysitter with to keep the kids busy and take them home if necessary. I wanted to know if I could them pay them for a meal for her. 

crazynervous

and I can't not go. I am in the wedding.  

UGAbride

Personally, I completely prefer my kids NOT to be at weddings...the only one they have ever been to was my brother's, and I really did not get to enjoy it.  But of course, they wanted their nephews to be there, and my youngest was only 2 weeks old, anyway.  But definitely, no way no how would I even want to take my kids to anyone else's wedding.  When we got married, kids were not invited...we didn't have any children in the family, so it wasn't like we told our niece or nephew not to come. 

Ciarrai

Is she more worried about the wedding or reception?  What about having the sitter watch the boys during the reception (when most people are worried about noise) and bringing them to the reception? 

And yes, the boys are invited to the wedding, but it sounds like she really doesn't want them there.

FWIW - As a wedding photog, I love kids at and in weddings.  They are too cute!  And always make the best pics especially dancing later in the evening.

kittycarr

If she's a bridezilla, take the kids just to piss her off regardless of what she wants.

firefightersgal

I've only been to one wedding since DD was born that she did not come with me.  And that was because it was cross country and I went alone.  I don't think it would bother me if kids weren't allowed.  I'd think of it as a date night with DH.  When my BIL/SIL got married, we had DD at the wedding, but my mom took her for the reception.  Now that she's a little bit older, she goes to the receptions with us--and she loooooves it.  She loves dancing with everybody. 

Someone mentioned funerals as family events, too.  That is something I will not take my DD to--even for a family member.  I don't feel like she's old enough to understand what is going on and doesn't need to see people upset like that.  When DH's great-grandma passed away, we caught some flack for not bringing DD, but I just don't feel it is appropriate for little kids.  (I didn't attend my grandma's funeral when I was 5, and I was very close to her.  My mom gave me the choice to go or not.  I think it made it easier for her to openly grieve for her mother without having to worry about my brother and I, and I think I would not have been able to handle that very well at age 5).

LestaMarie

We had kids at our wedding.  Most parents I know elect to keep their kids at home whether the wedding is yes-kids or no-kids.  DH and I like to go to weddings without our children because we love a night out with our friends, to celebrate, have a little to drink, and dance...and our kids would probably get bored and cranky by the time the reception started.  But if someone else brings their kids, it's fine by me.  I do think that if you bring your children to a wedding, you ought to act with them the same way you would act during a church service - if they start acting up or getting loud/fussy, take them out.  It's one thing to have them there, it's another thing to allow them to interrupt the service.

ccm1203

I can understand her not wanting the kids to make noise during the ceremony.  I would probably have them babysat off site for that.... the reception, who cares if the kids make noise? 

dale05

I'm with you.  I can understand for cousins or friends weddings if they're not invited as the guest list can get big.  But for my siblings weddings I would expect that they would be invited.  I would want all of my nieces and nephews at my wedding.  Granted we ended up getting married before any of our siblings had children. We did have lots of kids at our wedding though as we both had some young cousins (down to 1 year of age) plus I had several friends with fairly young babies so they brought them along too.

We've been to 3 weddings since we had our daughter.  Two we had to travel to so she came along but for my cousin's wedding she stayed with DH's brother and SIL.

s_angel

ditto ditto ditto! I crave adult-only parties now that I have kids! I also can't stand when a bunch of kids pack the dance floor and are doing somersaults and cartwheels.

Littlejen22

Did you have kids at your wedding?

The reason I do not like kids there is because I DJ'd in college and would often see kids having a total blast on the dance floor but it definitely kept adults off the dance floor.  The kids were never being bad, they were just dancing but adults usually do not feel comfortable doing their "normal" wedding dancing stuff when kids are out there.

veloelle

I'm in the unpopular camp of no kids at weddings. I want my time to enjoy the day and not see the bride wasting $70-$100/head on food that isn't eaten because parents have to run after their kids. I didn't have kids at my wedding, and a friend that just got married asked the same of her guests.

I love adult only weddings. I took DD to one funeral. Not.again. It was rude and embarassing; it was my BFF's g-ma. I should have left DD at home.

kittycarr

firefightersgal:

Someone mentioned funerals as family events, too.  That is something I will not take my DD to--even for a family member.  I don't feel like she's old enough to understand what is going on and doesn't need to see people upset like that.  When DH's great-grandma passed away, we caught some flack for not bringing DD, but I just don't feel it is appropriate for little kids.  (I didn't attend my grandma's funeral when I was 5, and I was very close to her.  My mom gave me the choice to go or not.  I think it made it easier for her to openly grieve for her mother without having to worry about my brother and I, and I think I would not have been able to handle that very well at age 5).

ditto

calico77

I agree!  We got invited to a wedding where my DH is letting the guy borrow our 67 mustang to drive away in for FREE just cause he's nice.  Invite said n kids under 5 and included registry info.  We will not be going nor will I be sending a gift.  His gift is the free use of our convertible.

Andrewsgal

calico77:

I agree!  We got invited to a wedding where my DH is letting the guy borrow our 67 mustang to drive away in for FREE just cause he's nice.  Invite said n kids under 5 and included registry info.  We will not be going nor will I be sending a gift.  His gift is the free use of our convertible.

Wow, really? Why even let them use the convertable if you are going to be such an ass about it? Since they won't let you bring your kids you are not getting a gift?

hopefulmom

I agree Andrews.  What does not taking your kids have to do with getting them a gift.  Obviously they are close enough friends that your DH would allow them to drive his car...but not close enough to give them a wedding gift because your poor kids can't go to the party.  Wow...a bit immature IMO.

As for no kids at weddings...that is TOTALLY up to the bride and groom.  If kids were invited and it was a close family wedding I would probably take my kids...unless I was in the wedding...then absolutely NOT.  I'd have no way of really looking after them.  When you're in a wedding there are certain obligations at the reception and it is very hard if you have your kid(s) with you (even if you have a babysitter they are going to want mommy).

Personally I don't like kids at weddings.  If they are there I usually leave very early (right after dinner) because you can't go on the dance floor anyway unless you want to trip over the little ones (which has happened more than a few times at weddings I've been at).  I look at weddings as a really nice time with just my DH...not a place for my kids to romp and play.  They can do that at a park!