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Tips from a Mommy...

sarahkellysarahkelly
in 3rd Trimester

Sadie is already 14 months (I need to update my profile pic!) but oh how I remember the 3rd trimester like it was yesterday! Thought I'd share some tips with you who are about to embark on this crazy rollercoaster of parentood (which is a wonderful ride!)

1) If you can, eat prunes after birth and every day until you're healed. Don't wait. 3 or 4 a day will keep your stool soft enough without giving you the runs. Trust me, you're going to want it that way.

2) When you have your 1st BM after labor take a cool wet washcloth with you. Press it against your girl parts as you gently push out the poo. This will help you be able to centralize where you are pushing and you can rest easier that you aren't tearing out your stitches if you have them. This was such a good tip for me because I had an episiotomy and was scared to death. I did this every time I poo'ed for the first week.

3) Your pp bleeding can stop and then start again...sometimes after a week. Keep something with you at all times!

4) Be sure you have somebody to contact immediately if you are planning on breastfeeding and need help. Establish a relationship before giving birth and let them know your wishes. You don't want to wait until your baby hasn't latched on for 12 hours and is screaming before you're frantically thumbing through the phone book for somebody to help you.

5) Be sure you have spoken with your DH about who will do what once the baby arrives. This is so very important. Who will walk the dog? Who will wash the dishes? Who will throw in the laundry? You will be surprised how many husbands didn't think their lives or sleep schedules wouldn't be disrupted at the arrival of their baby. Don't let your husband be one of those who are shocked that he's not able to sleep all 8 hours like he used to. He's a Daddy now, it comes with the territory. Even if he IS working, that doesn't mean he isn't a new Dad and can help.

6) People will be obsessed with telling you NOT to pick up your baby. I will never understand this but it's true. "You'll spoil him" or "you should let her fuss a little" and a million other ways that they can basically tell you to neglect the needs of your child. Babies do not have the mind power to manipulate you and they WON"T have this power until well past their 4th month (which is the earliest Ferber rcommends trying the Cry It Out method). Do not buy into what these people are selling. Your baby cries for many reasons, hunger, cold, heat, pain, tiredness, lonely, scared, boredom... these are real true needs and don't ever let anybody make you feel guilty for tending to your baby as soon as they let you know they need you. You know why they call it "you're babying him" because it's how a baby is supposed to be treated! He's a BABY!

7) No matter how bad you wanted this baby, you will be frustrated at times. you will get mad, especially through the night. I swear sometimes I felt like Jekyl and Hyde! Don't feel guilty. It's normal to feel bad when you have tried everything and can't get the babe happy. You're going to be mad that you're up for the 5th time in a night. It's okay to be "not thrilled" with it. As long as you're never putting the baby in danger (like shaking it) then you're fine and you're still a good parent! It IS frustrating don't feel bad!

8) Be sure you and your partner are CLEAR on how you will deal with the baby's cry. I have seen so many women on here who suddenly, 1 month into parenthood, relize their DH wants to let the baby Cry It Out and has left Junior in the crib screaming for 10 minutes straight. It doesn't mean everything you plan on doing is set in stone but at least have a clear idea of one another expectations.

9) Never say Never. You'll never request drugs during delivery. You'll never co-sleep. You'll never formula feed. You'll never do a million other things you really in your heart of hearts don't want to do. Try to keep an open mind. So if you DO want an epidural 20 mnutes into REAL labor, don't beat yourself up. If you let the baby sleep on your chest so you could sleep 2 consecutive hours straight, it's okay. The less "nevers" you have the less guilt you will feel once things don't turn out just the way you planned or imagined.

10) Breastfeeding is natural, yes, that doesn't mean it's easy. It can be hard. It can be a lot of work. It can be beautiful. It can be disasterous. It can go smooth as silk. It can go well and a week into it go horribly wrong. It's natural, yes, but it's not easy. Don't let people make you feel guilty if it's not coming as "natural" as they say.

11) Sleeping through the night is 5 hours stretches. I had no idea THAT is what is considered sleeping through the night. Not 7, 8, 9 hours...5. So when you read posts boasting about how their child has been sleeping 12 hours a night from day 1 don't feel bad. This is not the norm at all  even if it seems like every other baby is sleeping longer.  That Mommy isn't doing anything "better" then you. They just have a baby who sleeps more. Most of sleeping is totally up to the baby and has nothing to do with how good of a parent or routine you have, especially the first 3 months.

12) Trust your instincts as parents!!!!! You know your baby best. Even if you don't know HOW you know, you really do know. Trust yourself. You know if they are crying in pain rather than from colic (which is what my pedi suggested, she had colic, one formula switch later proved him WRONG and I knew it in my mommyheart all along). No matter how many years of experience they have, or how many degrees... anything... YOU and your partner know your baby the absolute best and please follow your instincts no matter what the "experts" say.

 Good luck ladies! I hope you find this helpful!

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