what does divorce mean?

violetvirgo

AudreyGolightly:

I want to take $50,000 from you for legal fees. I get to pay $50,000 in legal fees for something that wasn't my fault

I want to take our house from you. I get to lose my house

I want you to spend xxx amount in child support and xxx amount in alimony and xxx amount in counseling for our kid. Child support is the only thing I'll get and the least of my worries

I want to take our son and treat him like my property. I have to take our son and treat him like property which is more than you ever did.

I want to have your baby, but I get to decide when you see him. I have to decide when you get to see him and figure out logistics and times and miss him when he's visiting you

I want to keep fighting for the next 18 years about who does homework and takes him to soccer practice. I'll have to figure out how to juggle work, homework, and soccer practive and have to do all of this on my own

I want to hate your next spouse.  I won't hate your next spouse but at times I will probably hate mine if there is ever another one because of what you did to me

I want to tell our son how you were a bastard of a husband. One day I get to decide if I tell my son what a bastard his Daddy is or try to candy coat it and hide the real truth from him, lucky me.

I blame you for how miserable my life is. Damn straight I blame you for how miserable my life is.

 

Divorce means:

I protect my son from the influences of drugs and alcohol that his Daddy brings home and hope that he doesn't grow up to be just like him.

I get to remove my son from being right in the middle of a situation where one day his Daddy will wind up dead or in jail because of said drug/alcohol abuse

I get to try to create some stability in my son's life where he doesn't have a Daddy that might be coming home or might not be coming home and if he does come home he might be or might not be high

I get to ensure my son is safe when Daddy's using and out of his mind

I get ensure my son is safe because Daddy's not driving him somewhere after he's been drinking or smoking

I get to ensure my son gets all of the love and attention he needs because Mommy isn't stressed about a horrible husband and father in the picture

I get to ensure that my son and I aren't going to get hurt at the hands of Daddy or some crazy drug dealer he's linked up with

Divorce means I get to move on and so does my son. Divorce means an actual life for us.

 

 

now there's some perspective for ya! 

Temp174496125006552

AudreyGolightly:

Divorce means:

I protect my son from the influences of drugs and alcohol that his Daddy brings home and hope that he doesn't grow up to be just like him.

I get to remove my son from being right in the middle of a situation where one day his Daddy will wind up dead or in jail because of said drug/alcohol abuse

I get to try to create some stability in my son's life where he doesn't have a Daddy that might be coming home or might not be coming home and if he does come home he might be or might not be high

I get to ensure my son is safe when Daddy's using and out of his mind

I get ensure my son is safe because Daddy's not driving him somewhere after he's been drinking or smoking

I get to ensure my son gets all of the love and attention he needs because Mommy isn't stressed about a horrible husband and father in the picture

I get to ensure that my son and I aren't going to get hurt at the hands of Daddy or some crazy drug dealer he's linked up with

Divorce means I get to move on and so does my son. Divorce means an actual life for us.

As I told you, you're doing the right thing and you're a great mommy.  Nicholas is very lucky to have you. 

And I thought that maybe you could use one of these: 

J&A2008

RufflesRambo:

Also, I find this post in terrible taste considering all the stuff that's been going on lately with some posters here. Yes, divorce is not something to take lightly. I think we can all agree on that. But to try to make someone feel guilty for considering this extremely difficult decision that just may be in their best interest? That is a low blow.

Well, that's kind of my point.  Here we have the H who gave his pregnant wife clamydia (sp?) and the H who was getting drunk and high outside his home this weekend, and... now, the H who wanted his wife to write a grocery list while sick and answer questions about the laundry?

Mrs.Provost

OP, you're an effing moron.

Maybe divorce brings all of those things to some people, but for me it means that I, and consequently my children, get to be happy. And safe. And not being controlled every second of every day.

AudreyGoLightly, your post brought me to tears. I'm sorry you're dealing with it at all. 

just13nat

OP, you are a douche.  That is all.

violetvirgo

J&A2008:

RufflesRambo:

Also, I find this post in terrible taste considering all the stuff that's been going on lately with some posters here. Yes, divorce is not something to take lightly. I think we can all agree on that. But to try to make someone feel guilty for considering this extremely difficult decision that just may be in their best interest? That is a low blow.

Well, that's kind of my point.  Here we have the H who gave his pregnant wife clamydia (sp?) and the H who was getting drunk and high outside his home this weekend, and... now, the H who wanted his wife to write a grocery list while sick and answer questions about the laundry?

did you miss all the people telling you to actually read the post.  In case you didn't...IT IS NOT ABOUT THE LAUNDRY OR GROCERY LIST.  

ETA:  I want to know exactly what you suggest to someone in a possible violent relationship....beacause obviously you don't think past violence and threanted violence are cause for concern.  Should she wait until he actually hits her?  Hmmm?

goodtobethelarkster

jenifairies:

AudreyG, you just made me cry with your post. I'm so glad that your DS has such a great mom and I know you'll do the best for him.

J&A you are a bitter hag and I find it so appalling that you would post this. Way to try to guilt people into staying in sh!tty marriages.

Me too!  ((( hugs ))) to AudreyG.

And giant - seriously WTF is wrong with you to J&A.

mikey&amie

AGL - you are an awesome mom, and good for you for taking care of who is most important, being your son and yourself.  It will be hard, no doubt, but you can do it, and will be much better off.  You put this whole stupid post into perspective. 

RufflesRambo

AudreyGolightly:

Divorce means I get to move on and so does my son. Divorce means an actual life for us.

Yes, it does.

DelGrecoBride

J&A2008:

RufflesRambo:

Also, I find this post in terrible taste considering all the stuff that's been going on lately with some posters here. Yes, divorce is not something to take lightly. I think we can all agree on that. But to try to make someone feel guilty for considering this extremely difficult decision that just may be in their best interest? That is a low blow.

Well, that's kind of my point.  Here we have the H who gave his pregnant wife clamydia (sp?) and the H who was getting drunk and high outside his home this weekend, and... now, the H who wanted his wife to write a grocery list while sick and answer questions about the laundry?

use your freaking HEAD! she doesn't need to spell out her enitre marriage for anyone to know that there is more wrong in her marriage than groceries and laundry....Jesus. The man has a violent history....so you expect her to stay until she has the bruises?!?!?!?! You annoy me right now.

*blondiem*

J&A2008:

RufflesRambo:

Also, I find this post in terrible taste considering all the stuff that's been going on lately with some posters here. Yes, divorce is not something to take lightly. I think we can all agree on that. But to try to make someone feel guilty for considering this extremely difficult decision that just may be in their best interest? That is a low blow.

Well, that's kind of my point.  Here we have the H who gave his pregnant wife clamydia (sp?) and the H who was getting drunk and high outside his home this weekend, and... now, the H who wanted his wife to write a grocery list while sick and answer questions about the laundry?

Oh goody. I was hoping this wasn't a drive by post and run.

J&A, I hope you feel better about YOUR situation. But, this post was uncalled for. It might be time for you to ZIP IT.

 

Temp174496125006552

J&A2008:

RufflesRambo:

Also, I find this post in terrible taste considering all the stuff that's been going on lately with some posters here. Yes, divorce is not something to take lightly. I think we can all agree on that. But to try to make someone feel guilty for considering this extremely difficult decision that just may be in their best interest? That is a low blow.

Well, that's kind of my point.  Here we have the H who gave his pregnant wife clamydia (sp?) and the H who was getting drunk and high outside his home this weekend, and... now, the H who wanted his wife to write a grocery list while sick and answer questions about the laundry?

You really need to stop typing and walk away from the computer.  I usually stay away from the drama, but you seriously are one inconsiderate biitch.  Way to rub salt in the wound, idiot.  Do everyone a favor and just log off now.

radylady

Well, that's just ridiculous. "And don't tell me divorce doesn't have to involve these things?" A lot of posters/lurkers have been divorced or, more likely, watched their parents divorce, and I think we'd all attest that every divorce is different. I watched my mom have two! Very very different relationships, with very different divorces.

But, more importantly, I think you are missing the point that he threatened to punch her in the face.

Punch her.

In the face.

I mean...argh! Punch her in the face! Not equivalent to threatening to exercise an option legally available to you! 

 

jen_k2

J&A2008:

RufflesRambo:

Also, I find this post in terrible taste considering all the stuff that's been going on lately with some posters here. Yes, divorce is not something to take lightly. I think we can all agree on that. But to try to make someone feel guilty for considering this extremely difficult decision that just may be in their best interest? That is a low blow.

Well, that's kind of my point.  Here we have the H who gave his pregnant wife clamydia (sp?) and the H who was getting drunk and high outside his home this weekend, and... now, the H who wanted his wife to write a grocery list while sick and answer questions about the laundry?

have you actually read the entire OP yet?

olivia_eve

I think you need to separate your personal issues from the OP.  You do know that she's not your DH's ex-wife, right?  I feel like there's some misplaced anger going on in your post.

Monkeybuttwhat

I'm so sorry to all of you ladies who are getting divorces. I hope it does mean a happier life for you guys and the kids!

Divorce doesn't have to be that way for everyone OPer. I spoke to our situation but my parents and DHs parents situation was much different. Pint being everyones situation is different. So it is not the case for everyone. I spoke to our situation which sounds similar to yours. It can be hard not to get lost in the bitter.

You have to remember that there are other sides to what we deal with. That is how/why you need to stay empathetic to them. It sounds like you deal with a POS like we do and that can jade you I know all about it. They are not all like that though. Look at Mike Hunt who is being so kind to her STBX.  

 

.DietDrPepper.

RufflesRambo:

AudreyGolightly:

Divorce means I get to move on and so does my son. Divorce means an actual life for us.

Yes, it does.

AGL's son couldn't ask for a better mommy.  i have tears in my eyes.

~CoCo~

seans_grl:

You really need to stop typing and walk away from the computer.  I usually stay away from the drama, but you seriously are one inconsiderate biitch.  Way to rub salt in the wound, idiot.  Do everyone a favor and just log off now.

Yeah, I usually don't bother getting involved w/such posts, but this one made my jaw drop. What kind of asss (J&A?) posts such personal opinions as a blanket, universal truth for EVERYONE who's ever been or ever will be in that situation? What a self-centered, ignorant ASSSSSSHAT.

jen_k2

(((hugs))) for AGL.

Divorce is a great thing for some people & priceless. I'd have spent a million on mine if I had to. (not that I actually have that much lol)

michellibell

I spent about $800 on my divorce and it was the best thing that I ever did for myself.

12 years later I have an incredible (!!!) DH who is a better father  x1000 than the biological, a wonderful home, stability, comfort, love, an addition to our happy family and another on the way.

*KatieH*

Do you realize what an_asshole you sound like!?!   He threatened to hit her ...that is a crime!  Nevermind that he did that in front of their kid and while she is pregnant.  It's not about a grocery list it's about so much more.   He's lucky it wasn't me who he threatened to punch because his sorry butt would be in jail and the locks would be changed before he was released. 

Heather R

What does being a bltch mean?

It means "I think I'm better than you."

It means "I think I know more than you."

It means "I don't know anything and talk as if I do."

It means "I have no sense of empathy."

It means "I don't give a shlt if it's Domestic Violence Awareness month."

I'm a divorcee and none of those things happened to me.  We went our separate ways 10 years ago quietly and peacefully.  Sometimes people grow apart without the viciousness and spite you describe.  Sorry you're not worldly enough to understand human relationships and interactions.  AsshoIe.

Daisy77

This is the most delusional piece of crap I have ever read. 

Your divorce WASN'T mine.  My ex may be an a**hat, but this drivel makes him look good.  That's sad.