XP - Anyone hosting Thanksgiving?

mommy_bear

Due date: Nov 11 (firm date, likely induction)

Thanksgiving: Nov 26

Found out yesterday: Dad & Stepmom are coming

While I am thrilled they are coming to see the new baby, I am also feeling a little overwhelmed. And, if we have them over, we have to have DH's parents over.

house guests? food preparation? sleep deprivation? oh my!

p.s. my stepmother is like Martha Stewart and my MIL is a breast feeding Nazi.

I hate to sound ungrateful. Honestly, this year I do have much to be THANKFUL for. Tell me I can get through this (along with a nice bottle of wine )

Kari

tkcarnes

I laughed at the MIL comment. I still have no idea what is going on. But yeah to a bottle of wine.

ShannonLK

I think a bottle of wine, or even 2, might be a good idea.

Can you host, but have your stepmother & MIL be in charge of preparing all the food?  That way you aren't as overwhelmed!

It'll just be DH and I for Thanksgiving.  We may go out to eat. LOL. Sounds lame but I don't know if I can cook a Thanksgiving meal for only 2 people!

kimisuejoia

I totally wouldn't do it! I would very nicely tell them up-front that while you are super excited to have them come visit the new baby, they do realize that you were not planning on cooking an entire Thanksgiving feast two weeks post partum, dont they?

Maybe MiL can 'host' Thanksgiving and have you and your parents join them? Or let them cook it at your house if needed... But tell them now that you dont feel comfortable committing to doing everything so soon after birth.

Eeekkk! Good luck...

BarefootContess

Kari, It makes me so happy to see your ticker moving along!  I think two weeks pp is way, way too soon to have house guests and I do not think you would ungrateful or anything like to decline to host TG.  While I hope this doesn't happen, you could end with a c-s and not even be able to drive at that point.  Maybe if your dad and s-m want to come, you can go out to dinner instead. 

swrlygrl

well you could get the grandmothers to cook but there would still be dishes and stuff.  I would make reservations at a restaurant! or order pizza...with the wine of course   wow wine,*sigh* I wont get to even think about that for like 7 MONTHS!!!!

cfitz16

How about volunteer your house and have everyone else cook?

carladillon

Oh Kari - I so feel for you!  My EDD is 11/13 (just two days after yours) and Thanksgiving would be two weeks after so it's very possible if she comes late that I could be in the hospital.  It's just DH and I, and we're talking about just picking up a prepared dinner from the grocery store and celebrating our own Thanksgiving.  However, we don't have any family local, either.

 How did it happen that your parents are coming?  Were they specifically invited or did they invite themselves?  My dad lives 2.5 hours away in the same town as my brother and his wife and three kids....my Dad and SIL don't get along and he isn't planning on spending it with them.  So he emails me and TELLS me that he's probably going to come up here for it....this was after I told him I could be in the hospital.  Like others have said, if others are local, can divide the meal up - i.e. you and DH prepare turkey, kids make potatoes, your parents take care of the dressing, in-laws take care of dessert....kind of a pot luck sort of concept.  OR do you have a good grocery store up there that pre-makes meals?  We have a wonderful grocery store down here that makes wonderful meals.  I wouldn't want to go out to dinner with baby B so little....I would explain you will be otherwise occupied so EVERYONE needs to work together to come up with a plan.  I am sure everyone will understand. 

BrideBuddies

Kari.. I think I'm gonna be in the same boat as you!!!   Due 11/6 and it sounds like I'll have rotating house guests starting the week of T-giving, too.   Relatives are starting to plot out their visits to "meet the baby!"

We're also thinking about scheduling the baptism already, and our friends who will be the Godparents will be available to come out the first weekend in Dec.   It's either then, or well into March before they could come.  So that's two busy weekends in a row with all sorts of people milling around.

Fortuantely, my mom is adamant about not showing up on the doorstep the second the kid comes home, (she lives 800 miles away.)  But I'm not so sure about hubby's family. 

Sunsh1ne

There is NO WAY I would agree to host Thanksgiving just two weeks after delivering.  No way.  I love to cook and it's ordinarily fun for me to host these kinds of things, but I want to have the first 6 weeks to get my feet on the ground - without interference.  Did you agree to this?  Did your dh agree to this without asking you?  Are you really okay with this?  You really could say no and put your foot down.

redheadedgirl

I agree with offering your home and then letting others do the work.  While you could outsource the whole thing to Whole Foods or the like I would just say I'm thrilled you are all coming but I'm sure you understand I need all your help -- so step-mom you're doing the Turkey and MIL you're on pies!

 Really you have been through so much. Take this time to be thankful about all the good things with your family without making it hard on yourself.  They will understand.  Oh yea and wine lots of wine.

thefuturemrskudla

We may be having people for Thanksgiving, too, and will order everything from HoneyBaked Ham.

ValentineNJ

No way!

Last week my Childbirth class teacher told us that if we were planning on hosting the holidays we should be committed.  I have to agree with her.   

 

&&

ShannonL.K:

I think a bottle of wine, or even 2, might be a good idea.

Can you host, but have your stepmother & MIL be in charge of preparing all the food?  That way you aren't as overwhelmed!

 I totally agree with this.  And if that is not an option, maybe look into ordering a turkey with all the fixins from your local grocery store??  I know the one right around the corner from us does this...

Peppernut

You can totally get through this!

Let all the grandparents know that you won't be able to help at all, not even dishes.  Let them know if they want to have turkey day at your house, they need to coordinate both cooking and cleanup, otherwise it will be PB&J on paper plates for everyone!

nisems

We're planning to host Thanksgiving, and I use the term "host" very loosely!  My thought is that it will be easier for us to be at home rather than trying to lug a bunch of stuff to my mother or my MIL's house, and this way we can have both sides of the family over and no one has hurt feelings over missing baby's first thanksgiving.  Also, I can breastfeed or put the baby down for naps much easier in my own space.

As far as the actual hosting part, I've pretty much told both families that this will be a very low key dinner, and that they are either bringing all of the food, or we're ordering everything from the grocery store or claim jumper.  My mom will probably come the day or two before and help me clean and get ready.  My family is pretty casual; we don't do super fancy Martha Stewart-esque Thanksgivings anyway, so I'm thinking it will be ok.  Ask me again closer to the actual date and I may have changed my tune, but for now I feel pretty good about it.  

mommy_bear

Thanks, ladies. I knew I could count on you. #1 priority will be caring for baby and sleep.

I really like the idea of ordering a take-home Thanksgiving feast!

 

 

violetblue72

There is no way you will even remotely feel like doing this.  You probably won't feel like going out either because it for certain won't be relaxing.  I think another poster mentioned it but see if you can order a pre-made feast.  I'd tell the family that unless someone does my dishes it's paper plates all the way.  Seriously, I'm sure they'd understand. 

jmp8107

Wow, all these potential (step)grandmothers must have forgotten what the first two weeks were like.  I'd be outsourcing the guests to hotels and restaurants.  Our baby is due the Tuesday before Thanksgiving and if I'm not in the hospital, we're eating anything my mom wants to whip up or bring home.   I'm sorry to hear that they're all descending AND expecting you to host a holiday!