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Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
Re: Different profiles...
Can someone, anyone explain to me why it is a big deal to have more than one profile? I honestly don't get it, and maybe it's just *my* issue. Probably is. Why do people get so defensive about their profile and what's in it? It's just a profile, it's not who you are.
I posted this below to Rioleigh, and I shouldn't have unloaded on her, becasue it's not *her*. It's not her delicious little pumpkin.. I'm sorry Rioleigh.
But still... I don't get it.
As an aside, I also just posted on FB how I don't get the whole Farmville thing. Maybe it's just me and I am totally dense tonight. Probably is.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Re: Different profiles...
I have a Super Poke Pet on FB...the farm I don't do...
I play with the pet when I get bored...it takes you away from reality for a few...who knows?!
This baby photo thing is spiraling out of control quickly.
We don't get to hide from babies in real life and we don't get to hide from pregnant people. The only way through this is hard--but it's by going right through it, not by trying to operate in a vacuum.
I respectfully disagree. I think it's fine to have differing opinions.
As I said before, I don't want to take my comfort and support at the expense of someone else.
I guess it's just me.
I never comment on any of the "drama" but must this time.
Before coming to this board I posted on high risk. Since my pregnancy ended badly with Pre-E and the proof of that is in my signature I no longer post on the high risk board. I do not want women there to see what happened to me and have fear.
Seeing baby pictures does not bother me. My office is covered with pictures of my nephew who was born 11 days before I lost Hope. I can not hide from babies.
What bothers me here is those who post the "I may be" having a miscarriage. or the "I have not had morning sickness" post. We are not doctors. We are women who have lost a child and can not predict what will happen to you.
I don't post on here much, but this board has given me the most support through this than anyone IRL has. I fell like I can come on here and post how I am really feeling, I don't feel like I can tell anyone that IRL.
Yes I do have a DS but a also lost my daughter at 16 week, had to be induced and delivered her. I belong here just as much as anyone else. I'm sorry that it bothers some of you to see the pix in our siggies, but that little boy in mine is why I keep going. He is the reason I get up everyday, I should not have to hide him to post on any board. And if that is the way this board is going to be then maybe this board isn't what I thought it was and maybe I shouldn't post here anymore
leave your precious babes in the sigs. there are just bigger things to worry about.
everyone just relax.
come on guys. this is not what this board should be about. everyone is on their own little journey here and you cant tell someone to change their sig.
I don't think it's really about signatures. In *my* opinion, it's about making yourself more important than the healing process of everyone who has to visit this board. It's the disrespect. The pictures don't bother me. But the pi$$esd off, it's my profile and I'll keep it the way I want and who gives a crap about anyone else attitude sucks.
It's a profile. It's not that serious.
I think it's definitely *my* issue, and I should be the one not posting here.
Calling baby pics in a signature disrespectful is just as overdramatic and self-righteous as being lectured about why the siggy is in the profile. I have a hard time seeing "happy family" photos after a baby's birth--but I don't walk around to the cubes around me, telling them that their photos are disrespectful--because I know that is not their intention and despite the fact they have something that I don't or it hurts me, I'm sure I have things that they want--we all have our triggers, our issues, and our stories.
JennyTom, I usually enjoy communicating with you on here, but we can either let this go or let this turn into a board war that makes this a bad place for everyone.
Well, I'm going to have to agree with one thing you said. It's *your* issue. No one is disrepecting you or anyone else on this board by refusing to create a new profile. By asking people to create new profiles that don't mention their children, you are asking people to not recongnize a part of their life. (the part of their life that is most likely helping them through their loss). It's just the same as asking you to create a profile that doesn't mention your losses when you are able to post on the tri boards. It's utterly ridiculous IMO. And I would honestly have to say that not only does your suggestion offend me, but probably almost every other woman on this board who has suffered a loss and has a child. You are asking us to disregard our children when we post on this board. I find that to be one of the most appalling things that I have ever heard. It's YOUR issue if you can't handle seeing pictures of other people's children.
Again, since you seem to have a problem understanding what I am saying, I don't have an issue with the pictures. I have a beautiful little four year old that I would love to put a pic of on here. I don't, out of respect for women who are hurting.
If I were to post on the tri boards, I most certainly would not use this profile with my losses on it, our of respect for them.
It's the pissy attitudes that suck, not the pictures of the cute little babies.
It is certainly your choice to have a different profile, but not everyone wants to do that. And it is about the pictures. If the pictures don't bother you, then why would people need to have a different profile without pictures?
You can't have it both ways. You can't say why is it a big deal to have another profile without pictures/tickers/whatever and at the same time say that it's not about the pictures.
It's not about the pictures for me. Clearly you aren't getting that point. They don't bother me. But there are several women on here they do bother, that they cause real pain for. That's why I said why is it a big deal to have a different profile?
It's the women who have the pictures that don't want to do a different profile.. which I don't get. Which was my original post.. like, someone explain it to me so I get it, which no one, including you, has done.
If you know that what you have in your signature has the potential to hurt someone, and you know clearly that that person is already in a significant amount on pain, why would you keep it? That's what I do not get.
But whatev.
I don't see anyone but YOU causing a stink about the pictures.
How about this, I don't want to create a different profile. I don't choose to create a different profile because my son is a part of my life. My WHOLE life. He is part of my recovery from my m/c. And if keeping his picture in my siggy helps with my recovery, then that's what I'm going to do for myself. I'm not going to take his picture down for internet strangers who call themselves supportive but when push comes to shove all they can do is project their issues onto other people and criticize people for their choices.
Then clearly YOUR issue is putting yourself and your issues before anyone and anything else. Good luck with that.
Again, if you think your pictures aren't hurting anyone, refer to Roxy's post below.
First, I never said that my pictures don't hurt anyone. I'm saying that it's not fair to ask people to not post their pictures.
Secondly, I am LMAO right now. Are you really suggesting that my first concern right now should be other people? Are your really saying the I shouldn't put myself, my mourning process and my recovery before yours or someone else?
I must be dense, too. What do you mean by different profiles? Do you mean a whole different screen name? I thought that your sig was your sig no matter where you post.
(And thank you for your apology- I really do get what people are saying and why it's hard to see the baby pics. Although, for me, the "loss" tickers are actually harder. I guess it's different for everybody. The one thing that's the SAME for all of us is that we don't want to be here... and this sucks!) UGH!!!!!
Please don't take this as rude, but I don't understand.
If seeing babies in sigs bother you, which can be upsetting after a loss, how do you deal in real life? When you see children and babies outside?