Now I can post here
The last time I posted, I wasn't sure if I was m/c-ing, and was told (in the kindest of ways) to not post here if I was still pg and not sure.
Well, I'm sure now. I'm m/c-ing... HCG dropped again to 367 (from 421) and I just started to bleed. I'm not sure how all this will work; the nurse said to expect a heavier AF, and probably some cramping. But if I had a lot of pain, I am supposed to call the office.
I wish I wouldn't have gotten so excited so soon. Now I feel like a bit of a failure. The nurse tried to be reassuring, telling me that most women don't even know they are PG at the point where I am at, but that wasn't exactly reassuring. I knew I was PG, and I know that I'm losing what could have been our baby.
I am just numb right now, but I have to finish the workday and try to be "happy smiley" for my clients/patients.
Re: Now I can post here
I am so sorry. It is never easy regardless of how far along you are or aren't. It just sucks...
I would receommend a heating pad and some OTC pain meds. For me, it was sort of like a heavy AF.
On a side note, don't feel like a failure. None of us ever wanted this for our little ones. You didn't have a choice in the matter.
Big ((((hugs)))))
Me too. I prayed and prayed that the number would go up, even a little, to make me feel better. I was so excited on Saturday when I found out ... like tears of joy and all...and in less than a week, it's all over. And even if anyone says it's just a ball of cells, it was MY ball of cells, and I wanted it to grow into a strong, healthy baby -- just like all of you do too!
Not many people knew I was pg, but some at work did because of the risk of radiation & gas anesthesia. It is so hard to tell them "nope, it's not happening now." I even had another doctor step up to do a chemotherapy injection for tomorrow (because I didn't want to push those kind of drugs being pg), but now I'm not pg, and I feel like I should do it...but that would probably clue everyone off about what is going on, and I just don't want to talk about it to everyone.
DH says "we'll try again." And I know we will, but it doesn't make it any easier for me right now, right this very moment, when all I can think about it trying to figure out the "why" that I'll never know.
I am so sorry for your loss.
I felt exactly like you did- a complete failure. Finally after 2.5 months (it still hurts like crazy), I am okay with saying out loud that it was not my fault and maybe I am not a complete failure afterall.
Even though you were in the early stage of pregnancy (like I was), it was still a baby inside of you! Don't let anyone let you think differently.
Again, I am so sorry you are going through this.
I'm glad to see you posted here again. I hope you will find comfort and a shoulder to cry on here with these amazing women...I surely have.
Again (I also responded on GP)--I am so sorry for your loss. I know the feeling of "failure" and I also feel a sense of embarrassment that I let myself get so excited so quickly.
The bleeding was the hardest and as of today, it has stopped (I had 4 or 5 days of spotting after 2 of heavy bleeding). It will get better--everyday is getting easier for me, but it is still constantly on my mind. Try to find things to distract you--funny TV has been my savior.
We're here for you, papetvet!
Im so sorry for your loss. Do you really have to be at work right now and tmrw? Work was so hard because I just wanted to be home with DH or with my close friends. Get some rest, a heating pad, some OTC pain meds and dont hesitate to call in if you need some prescript pain meds either...and some ice cream.
I'm so sorry to hear the worst possible news. Please know that this is not your fault! There is not anything that you could have done to prevent this from happening. I remembered you mentioning that you were relatively early in your pg. In my experience, everything went like a heavy period. Cramps got worse when I passed tissue, but then tapered off. I felt afterward a little like I'd been punched in the stomach, but nothing that advil didn't help. I hope you were able to get through the work day & are taking care of yourself.
Again, I am so sorry to hear that you had to come here. It's a place that none of us want to be, but the ladies here are nothing but supportive. {{HUGS}}
BFP#2 5/11/09 :: Natural m/c 5/27/09 @ 5w5d
BFP#3 7/24/09 :: Missed m/c, baby stopped growing at 6w4d :: natural m/c 8/28/09 @ 8w6d
BFP #4 11/27/09 :: DD born 7/27/10
BFP #5 2/29/12 :: DD born 11/6/12
DS - 9/12/08 9 lbs 22.5 in.
Natural M/C 9/21/09 at 8w 1d baby measured 6w 3d
DS2 - 7/13/10 10 lb 2.5 oz. 21.5 in
DD1 - 9/21/12 9 lbs 4 oz. 22.5 in
Baby #4 due Spring of 2014!
I'm so sorry about your loss. I am sorry that people made you feel like you couldn't post here before, I know how scary it is to not know what's going on.
Don't feel like a failure, you didn't do anything wrong that would make this happen to you, sometimes these things just happen.
I'm sure everything will go well and you will get pregnant again with a sticky baby soon.