Tips from my dad on discipline (brace yourself)

BerriGirl

So my dad calls me this AM to discuss Jack's biting (which he hasn't done since Thursday... crossing my fingers he's past it), and the conversation progressed to Dad's Helpful Hints re: Discipline. Here's what I picked up:

• There is no respect without fear. A child must fear you before they will obey you.
• A child who isn't afraid of getting a "whoopin'" will do whatever they want. And as a parent, you don't "whoop" a child to cause pain, and you never leave bruises, but you have to do it to punish them.
• The earlier you start disciplining the child, the better. It gets more difficult the longer you wait to do it.
• Young kids, like Jack, don't understand reasoning and therefore you have to inflict pain as a consequence to unwanted behavior.
• All of this "BS" that the drs and psycholgists tell you (btw, I have a master's in psychology) about positive reinforcement and praising only the good behavior just doesn't work, and I'm crazy if I use time- outs.

Just thought I'd share in case any of your dads didn't get the memo to pass along this invaluable parenting advice! Enjoy!

BerriGirl

Sorry, the list was supposed to be bulleted and was much easier to read... hmm...

lpennie16

This is one of those conversations that I would be trying very hard not to grimace and make faces at. In one ear, out the other...

MegGary

I was angry than just laughed at the end. I hope your dad doesn't watch DS by himself. I'd be worried he'd inflict pain on him if he didn't obey. Yikes.

TMs1stBaby

I was thinking about you over the weekend - not in a strange stalker way or anything, but I was wondering if you would be able to find a new daycare that you liked quickly enough.  What did you end up doing?

Califlorida

well, that must've brought back some fond childhood memories for you.  yeesh...

my dad has the opposite problem.  he's never quite grown up so he likes to instigate bad behavior and sit back and watch my head explode.

KGsky

LOL.  Your dad is old school.  I don't think too many people are going to find this advice that outrageous, even if they don't agree.  My mom is big on redirection--now.  She certainly did give us whoopin's, but redirection and contant reinforcement is working for us right now.  Now if it stops working?  Welll....

BerriGirl

TMs1stBaby:

I was thinking about you over the weekend - not in a strange stalker way or anything, but I was wondering if you would be able to find a new daycare that you liked quickly enough.  What did you end up doing?

Since he hasn't bitten since Thursday, the director said they'd wait till Friday and if he still hasn't bitten, they'll let him stay. But I have spoken with a couple of daycares (none of which I love) and can move him if I have to.

kgb1411

huh.  Here I thought that the purpose of a whoopin' was to get a kid to stop before an action and think "what happened the last time I did this?  That same consequence will probably happen again."   Then, going through a series of possible consequences, if they remember a negative consequence, the child will go ahead and stop with the action. 

Uh yeah...DS can't quite do that.  He still jumps off the couch 5 minutes after he bit his lip doing it and will spill all of the water out of a big cup immediately after he gets it 15 times in a row (even though he wants to drink out of it).   

 

BerriGirl

KGsky:

LOL.  Your dad is old school.  I don't think too many people are going to find this advice that outrageous, even if they don't agree.  My mom is big on redirection--now.  She certainly did give us whoopin's, but redirection and contant reinforcement is working for us right now.  Now if it stops working?  Welll....

Funny thing is, I remember only getting one spanking from him and I was probably 11 years old. I never remember "fearing" him - just disappointing him!

Temp174496125006552

Califlorida:

my dad has the opposite problem.  he's never quite grown up so he likes to instigate bad behavior and sit back and watch my head explode.

Your dad and my dad should be friends.  My dad is a huge instigator.  It drives my mom bananas and she has yelled at him to stop more times than I can count.  And not only did he do it with the 5 of us growing up, but he does it with the grandkids too.  He thinks he's being funny.  My mom reminds him that he's just being annoying.