Do you tell everyone that your baby is a preemie?

MomAgain??

A little background... When I was 6 mos pregnant my husband and I seperated.  Due to Pre-eclampsia, my son (Logan) was born at 32 weeks (3lbs 10oz 16.9 in) He is still a little guy. Due to my current situation I take him out of the house a lot more than I would like.  We go to the grocery store, pick up dry cleaning etc. Everytime we go out someone asks, "How old is he?" I know it sounds stupid, but I dont know how to answer.   I dont want to get into his whole life history everytime, and it makes me feel very defensive.  Does anyone have any suggestions?

lemen99

I just tell people he's "6 months old" (his adjusted age) so that I can avoid long explanations :-) A white lie doesn't hurt in this case!

 

TriciaJoy

For a long time, I tended to say "he's 4 months but was 3 months early, so he's little" but then i'd annoy myself over-explaining. So then I'd just say "he's 4 months" and people would gasp and THEN I'd explain.
Fortunately now he's pretty big, so we don't get it *too* much. Plus I started just saying "he's 1" instead of "he's 16 months."

Explain or not as you feel comfortable. I will say that sometimes giving too much info lead to 100 questions which can be annoying, so if I wasn't in the mood to talk, I'd just quickly say "4 months" and look away, giving a very blatant non-verbal communication that I didnt' want to talk.

southphilly

I fully intend to lie! 

*KatieH*

I just pick an age lol..seriously it gives me and my husband a good laugh to see peoples reaction.  Sometimes we will say oh he is 15 months (which he is now) or he is 5 years old.  You know totally off the wall lol. 

Rachel&Joe

adjusted age for sure!

mek10976

I only say something if people are commenting on his development or his size (he's really a big boy and shows no signs of preemie-ness that way).

ijack

at first I would kind of explain her story. now I just tell them her age and if they make a comment about her size (which they always do) I just smile and try not to hit them

SBMBride406

I did more when he was younger b/c he was pretty small for a while. Now I only do if I'm having an in-depth conversation with someone.

I'm so sorry you and your husband separated right before you had a preemie. That must be very difficult. We're here if you need to vent, chat, etc.

jkipp82

I always tell actual age, but when they say "oh, he's a tiny one"  I always say "He was 7 weeks early"... though lately I do get sick of having to say that.  Or people start with "oh, a new little baby, how old?"... and are surprised when I tell them he's not a newborn anymore...

kamcfarlane

i have been working very hard not to tell everyone i meet. DS is in the 50th% for weight and the 95th% for height, so he is actually pretty big for his actual age. the reason i feel i need to overexplain is because of development - he's only army crawling and starting to eat finger foods. i know he's not that behind and that all babies develop at a different rate anyways, but i still find it hard not to try to explain it all away. especially when my sister has a LO that was born the day before DS's due date who's way ahead developmentally (like almost walking at 9 months!).

franciscaz

We will go by adjusted age until they hit over a year.

armo

I most often went with adjusted age.   Now that they are almost 16 months old actual, i feel kinda weird still adjusting, though they are completely like their adjusted age and nothing like actual (even considering the wider range for skills).

Honestly, most times i open my mouth to answer without knowing what is going to come out.  If i ever DO say actual age, i almost always say that they were preemies. 

dmblack

I always told people the Savannah's actual age.  If they commented on her size I'd explain that she was a preemie and was under 2 lbs when she was born.  I never went into more of an explanation than that.  Now that she's 3 we don't get that anymore.  Believe me the eventually grow out of that preemieness.

jehprb

I did - didn't feel like there was a reason not to.  I just say things like, "He's 3 months old but he was born 2 months early so he might look smaller than you'd expect." ...99% of people left it at that.  The other 1% were nosey old ladies who didn't know any better than to ask personal questions :-P

Once he was sorta caught up I could just say "He'll be 1 next month" and no one batted an eye - it was only during the first few months that people noticed.

 

Mrs. Destructo

It depends on the situation. My kids are finally 'caught up' developmentally (meaning their skills fall into the normal time frame for their actual age, but just barely), but they are very tiny, even for their adjusted age. If somebody is asking for conversation's sake, I'll say their actual age but I always generalize "They'll be 2 in November". If somebody is asking because they are super small for the skills they have, I say "Ohh, they're about a year and 1/2 old."

 When they were younger, I always said their adjusted age. I had one too many comments make me cry, and I just stopped telling people their actual age.

mrs.amandamm

I always say her real age, and would no matter how early she was.  I don't get why anyone would say the adjusted age.  If they comment on her size, I just say she was a preemie.

jlc071903

Maybe it's that I have twins, but people ALWAYS ask me if they were early...and I say, yes...honestly, I'd tell them if they didn't ask....that's my excuse as to why I don't let people touch them.  We've NEVER had a stranger touch them, but then again, they don't go alot of places anyways.

vixyash

Now that we have the "please wash your hands" sign on her carrier that also says "I'm a preemie" I'm starting to use her actual age more. Usually, I don't mind the attention.

Before I would just say, "She's a preemie, but is X months old." That would usually prompt more questions, which I don't mind answering too much. Or that response, I'd just smile nicely and move along. 

mnberry18

we always go by actual age. initially i thought i'd do adjusted but DH wanted to use actual and we've met and talked to a lot of people with preemies that way. it seemed strange to me at first to have to explain why aaron's so small but then i realized i love all the progress he's made already so i don't mind mentioning he's a preemie. still, sometimes i wish people didn't ask but if they do, i share his story