NBFR: How would you feel about...

taagent

leaving your newborn/infant in this situation overnight, even if it is for just one night, or even for just a few hours?

My inlaws watch my great neice Friday through Sunday every weekend.  I love my great neice but honestly she has some really bad behaviors.  She is almost 2 (will be 2.5 when LO is born and VERY clingy (not the bad behavior I am referring to).  My great nephew who is 2 spends time with my MIL on the weekends occasionally and every time, comes home with scratches and bruises because of my great neice.  

She hits, pulls hair, scratches, pinches, throws things etc.  I realize she is only two but she has been doing this for almost a year now and it hasn't gotten any better.  Just the other day my nephew had a large bruise on the back of his neck from from where my great neice came up behind him and pinched him.  

She doesn't just do these behaviors with other children but also with adults (I have scratch marks on my hand to prove it!).  A couple of weeks ago she was screaming and hitting my MIL because my MIL wouldn't stand up and pick her up, my MIL was trying to pick her up while she was sitting so she was hitting her on the arms and legs.  

I know my inlaws would like to keep our LO even if it is for a few hours, but would love to have the baby overnight and I know that he/she will eventually get hurt at some point but it makes me nervous to think about my baby being in a situation where I know he/she could get hurt and not be able defend him/herself.  I know my inlaws would do their best to keep the baby safe it is just that they can't control my great neice.

Am I worrying too much about it or would you be hesitant to leave your new baby in this situation? 

RedHeadedLeo85

I wouldn't and if I were you, I would be talking with her mother on her behavior and your MIL on why you feel that you can't leave you baby there. That lil girl seems like she's a terror and she's spoiled, used to getting what she wants. Those behaviors should be corrected before too soon or she is gonna have one heIl of a time in headstart or kindergarten...

Good luck!!!

DREWLILY

I wouldn't be comfortable with that at all! As you said, it's not that they wouldn't be looking after LO, it's that they can't seem to control their niece. Is this a normal phase for a child of her age to be going thru? Sounds like she has issues....

J&A2008

I wouldn't leave any kids in that situation.  Little ones will get hurt, older ones will pick up her bad behavior.

Does she not get time outs or any sort of consequence?

Karma1969

I wouldn't if I were you. 

fellesferie

I wouldn't leave a young child in the house. Maybe an older child that could hold his/her own, but not a preschooler or younger.

luckyangel

I wouldn't.

jpowell3

No. And I would punch my dh if he ever considered it! Like you said, they can't control her & there is no need for your LO to be put in danger. Can they take your LO on a night they don't have her?

taagent

I am so glad that y'all feel the same way I do.  Her mother (mynephew's ex gf) is VERY young (still in high school young).  I don't know what happens when she is with her mother but from what I have seen with my MIL there are absolutely NO consequences. 

My MIL gives in to the behavior and does what my neice wants her to do (at least in public).  I would definitely be fine with LO spending time alone with my inlaws when my neice isn't there, they are great grandparents.  

My neice picked up this behavior at daycare last year (she was the youngest) and they eventually had to pull her out because of these behaviors she had learned from the other kids in this program.

I told my mother the other day that her behavior is just horrible and I don't see how my MIL tolerates it at all. 

Littlejen22

Not a chance in hell.  I do not let my brother and SIL watch my kids because I do not trust him not to smoke around my kids and he would take him out on his quad, etc.  I make the decision to raise my kids how I want them raised, period.  So, when the time comes, politely tell your MIL that you love the niece (even if you don't, lol) but that your baby will not be safe around this child so she can either watch only your LO or she can wait until the niece no longer hurts other kids/people.  And if she says that niece will not do it to a baby, tell her you cannot take that chance and that you hope she understands.

ScissorTailedFlycatcher

I know a little girl who acts JUST like that. I don't even care to be around her; there is no way I would trust LO around her. She sounds like she is spoiled and gets her way... these behaviors will only get worse if she feels threatened by a newborn. Just try to explain to MIL gently, not accusingly, and just say that you don't trust what your niece might try to do.

Many 2 year olds can behave like this, but I, in no way, find it excusible. She needs to learn her boundaries NOW.

j+k

I wouldn't leave my child in that home and I'd be very honest about why.