Help how to deal with biting?

AnnetteWalker

When DH picked up DS at daycare yesterday they said he had been biting again. So the staff pretty much hovers over him to make sure he does not hurt others. They have given us some tips on how to deal with it so that we are all doing the same thing but I just feel so bad that he is doing this. He is teething like crazy drool all down his shirt so I think it has to do with that.

I hate feeling like my child is the one hurting others or that is hard to deal with.

keri1013

Ugh, I'm sorry! He is so little, I agree that it is probably teething related and maybe also just acting on impulse. I don't know what you can do other than firmly say "No biting" or something like that, or maybe "We don't bite people, here is a teether you can bite on" and remove him from the situation. If he is playing and having fun and biting gets him removed to be by himself for a couple minutes, eventually it will sink in. I hope it gets better soon! It is totally normal behavior, but I know it's hard when it's your kid.

Seattle_JiLLn

Yeah, at that age, it's not even aggression.  It's just impulse control.

Try to figure out what triggers it... is it just "oh oby that looks like a good thing to bite" or is it a "hello" to new friends or is it only during arguments about toys?    Whatever it is, try to intervene first and say a firm "no biting" and move him away and give him something that he can bite.   Or maybe even skip the " you can bite this" and show him how to gently touch the person.  "No biting, we do soft touches" and use his hand to rub the other person's arm or something....

ugh.  It must be frustrating - we had a biter in our play group and I know the mom worked so hard at it...

blueLu25

When I was a preschool teacher, we had a student with this issue too. We would tell him "no biting" (duh) but also offer him a "chewy toy" that was only his, and we kept it ouch of reach of the other students, but would offer it to him when we thought he needed it, and he learned to ask for it when he needed it. Try asking him do you want something to bite on? and then give him a toy that he can bite. He will get the connection after a few tries, and maybe his daycare can keep one for him too.

BethS2006

Audrey is my biter.  Gabe does too, but Audrey is the one who when frustrated will chomp down on her brother, leaving teeth marks and bruises 

I firmly and quickly say NO BITING!  and remove her and then deal with a crying Gabe.  As they get older, our plan is to use a time out spot for them.  If I see her going towards to bit I say her name and she looks at me and shakes her head "no"   she knows.... 

She has not bitten anyone but her brother, but daycare knows to be on the lookout....   its a lot of impulse, not having the words yet to say "hey that's mine, Im playing here etc etc"   at other times, Gabe bites to get a reaction from us...  like when I am rocking them to bed and he chomps my shoulder, and then giggles and tries to go it again.  That wins him done with rocking to sooth and he gets to lie in the crib while I rock Audrey.

good luck annette!!  hope it gets better....

BriAndSean

I can totally relate! I felt bad when I first got a note home saying Kaylin bit someone. Then I realized, it is such a common problem at this age and it is often fairly easy to fix. We've been dealing with biting with Miss Kaylin (her naughty name) for a couple months now. She does it when her gums hurt or when she can't communicate that she doesn't like something. For the gums hurting, I give her tylenol or motrin and a cold teether. That works every time. For the frustration, her teachers and I try to stop it before it starts. When she is starting to get frustrated, we get down on her level and talk with her about what she is feeling and why, and what she needs to feel better. This has made a world of difference and she very rarely bites at home now and not at all at school.

There is another boy in Kaylin's class that bites frequently and the teachers have him wear a ballcap at school. It makes it hard to bite another child when there is a bill between him and his target Kaylin was getting bit by him a couple times a month but hasn't gotten bit since they started using the cap. Maybe worth a shot?

energyzer

DS1 was a biter and we had really good luck with the book, Teeth Are Not For Biting" by Elizabeth Verdick (it's a board book).  It talks about how your mouth may hurt from teething and then talks about how biting hurts.  DS was a few months older than your DS when we used this but it really seemed to work!

 Here's the book on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Teeth-Biting-Board-Book-Behavior/dp/1575421283

Nancy_Drew

ugh,, I SOO feel for you since we went thru this same thing at Kim and Jasons.  They told us that Landons grandma said she was taking Landon out if he got bit one more time.  (but Audrey had bite marks on her arm that she said was from Landon...?)  One other parent said something similar too. It's fustrating, since you don't know what to do and just hope it's a phase they will grow out of. 

We couldn't scold/punish her at home since she didn't bite at home.  Kim suggested to incorporate into story time about biting and how we don't bite.  Make it seem like it's coming from the book, in the actual story.  We tried that.  We also talked about biting alot.

I have not heard in a while if she is still doing it... I'll have to ask.  I'm hoping it was a phase. 

Is he fustrated or mad when he is biting? 

Nancy_Drew

oh yeah.. Kim and Jason said they started to put her alone away from the other kids when was bitibg.  That way she knew there was consequences.  She'd cry and want Kim to console her (which Kim usually did)  So they finally had to have Kim completely ignore her when she was in solitary.    Ask if they seperate Robbie after a bitng incident?