Feel like I am doing everything wrong

EveGirl05

Before I had my son, I thought I was great with kids. I worked with them (mostly toddlers) for about 8 years and loved it. Now that my son is a toddler, I feel like I have forgotten everything I knew. Judging by my son's behavior, I just don't feel like I am doing a good job.

I stay home with him and we don't really have a schedule. I really try to but it just doesn't happen. He doesn't nap anymore but he also won't go to sleep at night until 9 or 10. Every night is stressful with him jumping off his bed and trying to get out and then scremaing and getting mad at me when I try and lay him down again.

He seems angry too. He'll bite, hit, scratch. It's just me that he does this to. I used to be really patient with him but lately with him treating me like this, I get so hurt that I snap at him and I know that's not right. But I don't know why he started treating me like this in the first place? My husband is absolutely wonderful with him and we spend a ton of time with him loving on him. I just don't get what I'm doing wrong. We're expecting another one and to be honest, I am scared.

Thanks for listening. If you have any advice I would love to hear it.

 

Saige&John

I would suggest setting up a schedule with plenty of different activities and keep it pretty regimented.  If he knows that you have lunch, then you play outside for 30 minutes, then a nap, he will start depending on that and will hopefully go along with it.  I am sure it can get frustrating, but remember he is testing his boundaries and at the moment probably doesn't feel like he has many.  Stick with it.  GOOD LUCK!!!  It will get better!!!!!

ilovemygirls

First of all, the fact that you used to work w/kids has zero bearing on the reality of being a parent!  He is a two year old asserting his independence.  It has nothing to do with his love for you, or yours for him.  I would recommend the book 1-2-3 Magic, which is a parenting technique for ages 2-12.  I think it works better for my 4yo, but I do modify it for my 2yo (who, by the way hit me today!). 

I would agree w/pp that you absolutely need some kind of a schedule.  I recall watching SuperNanny who really was big on schedules- I know she had a book out, maybe that would have some ideas for you.  

I had all the patience in the world with one child, and that really started disappearing once DD#2 came along.  You are doing the right thing by figuring out now how to better manage your kiddo & your days before #2 comes along.  Good luck.

moroccojade

Those bad days suck. 

There are a lot of good books out there.  Go to your public library and have a sit at the parenting shelf.  Take home 3 or 4 that seem interesting.  Then read read read.  And practice what you've learned. 

A friend of mine in a similar situation (SAH, pregnant, busy toddler) has just signed her son up for a 'play time at the community centre' thing.  Tues and Thurs from 1-3 pm every week.  It's not a huge amount of time -- and it's not expensive. But I think it will do her a world of good.  Even if she just sits at the coffee shop across the street with a book it would help. 

GL!  Hang in there.  Get proactive.

TheMalleys

Schedules are definitley they key to solving most problems and consistency, consistency, consistency. Make yourself a posterboard or even on paper write out a schedule for the day and try to stick to it. Definitley try to add back the naps. I often tell my 29 month old niece when I put her down for a nap, "you don't have to fall asleep, but you do have to stay in your bed until the clock says (insert the numbers here, usually at least 30 min), then if you are still awake you can come and get me". In 30 mins...she is asleep.

Also a pre-bedtime routine will help with the nighttime baddles. As for the bitting, hitting, etc. That is unacceptable. Start using time outs if you haven't already. My rules are 1 min per age year and they have to be NOT crying when they get out. DD is so used to it that if she hits something, she will go put herself in time-out! Its very funny, but it works.

EveGirl05

Thanks ladies. I appreciate the advice. We are using time outs. I am going to work on having a better schedule and I'll check out some books. Thank you!