Would you recommend Baby Wise?

LMK8605

I've been reading about it here and there, would you recommend it for a mother of twins?  What has your experience been with it?

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YES YES YES!!

I do agree- their chapter on multiples sucked and was not helpful in any way... but the theroy behind baby wise is GREAT for twins- and this book is actually the #1 recommended sleep training book in the "Twin Set" book, which interviewed/polled tons of twin parents.

I used BW with my singleton, and he STTN at 8w... my twins also STTN at 8w with baby wise.

the main thing is that you follow a flexible routine of sleep/eat/play about every 3 hours.  this helps baby learn NOT to need to eat to fall asleep.  Baby will also learn to soothe him/herself... it is NOT CIO - though, BW does encourage letting babies cry for a little bit before picking them up -to see if they even need it... b/c most babies will cry for just a few minutes and then be done crying and fall back to sleep (mine do this all the time- 3 minutes crying... i have timed it, lol)

Read the book---if it's not for you- you'll know.  It's not for everyone. If you are an attachment parenting type- it's not for you... (AP is about baby wearing most of the day, sleeping in the same bed with your baby, not letting baby cry much at all, etc)

BW also encourages you to make sure your marriage is #1 - because without a stable and secure marriage, baby won't feel secure.  I'm a firm believer in this - kids are not #1- our marriage is, and by making sure our marriage stays good- we are all happy.

 Not only do most BW babies STTN betwee 8-12w, but it also helps you plan your day really well- because you'll have a general knowledge of when your babies will need to eat, sleep, etc- so you can plan when to leave the house... and it's also great b/c if baby is fussing- you can almost always know why based on what time it is in the schedule rotation.

There might be people who tell you BW is dangerous - don't listen to them- there are wackadoo websites out there that say it causes faiure to thrive- which is just assenine... because if you don't feed your hungry baby b/c you think a book said not to- and your baby doesn't thrive because of it- you are a fool And, the book says over and over to feed baby if baby is hungry- no matter what time it is.

Again- IMO you could totally skip the chapter on multiples.  I think they had triplets- which yeah, you probably DO need help and can't do alone early on... but twins you can - and they don't really give any good info on truly using babywise with twins- it's just about how to work schedules- which IMO everyone needs to do their own way and not what any book says.

 

jalaiaa

A MoM gave me 12 Hours Sleep by 12 Weeks Old by Suzy Giordano. She raved about it, saying her twins STTN by 12 weeks. I, of course, don't have my babies yet but I've read most of the book and plan on trying it. It was written by a mom of twins and isn't a CIO book either. A very quick read. If any other MoM have used it would love to hear how it worked for you. 

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MrsLee04:

My babies STTN at 8 weeks without the help of a book.  I still don't recommend it, I say follow your babies' own individual cues and find a schedule that works for you/them.  Many peds don't even recommend the book, and to me that says a lot.

If you hang out on the 0-6 board, or most any mommy board- you'll see that babies STTN at 8w is NOT common... there are moms on these boards who have 2y/o who have never STTN --- I like to think that my 3 STTN is not just luck- it simply can't be - it has to do with how we sleep trained them IMO.

Again- this book is not for everyone... no sleep training book is.  No sleep training book is every doc's favorite either.  Ped's don't have much in common at all when it comes to how to raise children or even how to treat them medically (i'm a drug rep- i speak to docs all day long... each doc has a different opinion on just about everything). 

the thing about Baby Wise is that you want to read it BEFORE babies are born- because you pretty much start right away (with the first couple weeks being really relaxed)... Some sleep training methods you don't start until babies are many months old... but this one you need to know early on if you plan to do it.

Here's a good website that dispells some of the myths that are out there (in case you google and get the wackadoo sites)

https://www.parentwisesolutions.com/babywise/common-myths/

 and here is some info re: babywise and twins out there

https://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/02/babywise-and-twins.html

 

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MrsLee04:

I have rarely known a baby to NOT STTN by 6 months, and I've known tons of babies and mommies throughout my life, so I say for a lot of them it is luck and it is common.  And I did read the book before they were born and like I said promptly returned it to its owner.  The OP asked if we recommend the book, and my answer is still no.  No amount of links will convince me otherwise, and she's free to make her own decision, too. 

I have never tried to convince YOU anything about BW.. or the OP for that matter... I have simply been having a dialogue and offering some info for the  OP who asked for it.. using your replies as part of the dialogue, as people do on message boards... as you have with mine. 

It's fine you don't like it... and it's fine that I do.  She can certainly read replies and make a decision- not sure why you feel the need to point that out... i think it's pretty common knowledge around here.

macchiatto

I read Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, Babywise, and some of Dr. Sears' stuff before my babies were born b/c I wanted to read opinions and advice from a broad spectrum of infant-parenting perspectives and then draw my own conclusions. For me that was really helpful. A lot of the MoMs in my local MOTC actually swear by Babywise. We ended up following more HSHHC and somewhat The Baby Whisperer. There's actually, I feel, a lot of overlap between those two books and BW and yet BW for some reason is more controversial. (Honestly I think part of that is people following BW to the extreme and ignoring things the BW author says like "Of course if the baby is hungry earlier, you *should* feed him earlier;" some people seem to think BW is about rigid scheduling and CIO at a very young age, but it's my understanding that Ezzo revised the book to make it less subject to extreme interpretations.) I would definitely say it's worth reading and seeing if it jives with your own philosophies, but I'd also recommending reading--or at least skimming--Baby Whisperer and HSHHC as well. HSHHC is really research-based, which I love, and we do follow the EASY routine from Baby Whisperer (which is actually pretty similar to the suggested routine in Babywise).

Skatcat

Eh, I thought BabyWise was just ok.  It had a couple of good thoughts, and the rest of it was sort of repetitive or downright nonsensical to me. One thing they said that was illuminating for me was the idea that they weren't always crying out of hunger, and that its important to take a few minutes to assess the situation and see if you can figure out what they are trying to tell you.

However, they ALSO say not to use the breast as a pacifier, and I thought that was just plain stupid.  While its true that FOOD shouldn't be a pacifier, I did and still believe to this day that The Boob is the most important tool I have for calming an upset or anxious baby and I have no qualms at all about pulling it out when needed, even if I know they aren't hungry. (And I am definitely not an AP parent!)

So, I guess I'd say borrow it from the library, give it a read and then decide what makes sense to you and what doesn't. Its like any other book that way..you take bits and pieces from different sources as you go.  You know your kids best!

MrsJones2005

I read Babywise, Happiest Baby on the Block and the Baby Whisperer.  Not one of those books was the perfect solution for any of my children.  But each book provided me with some good advice and I was able to pick from each of those the best things for me and my family.  

Since your babies are already born, I highly recommend the Happiest Baby on the Block.  I got that book when my girls were 2 weeks old and it was honestly a life saver for us!!  I wasn't able to sit down and read it page by page, but when we were having a particular issue, I could look it up.  Plus, when I was doing all those nursing sessions, I was able to read about the 5 S's and I just can't tell you  how helpful that was for me.  My husband and I STILL think about those steps when calming our 10 month old and sometimes our girls.

IMO Babywise is going to be too deep of a book for you to be able to really get into and get help from with 2 week old babies.  But, once you have some time, I would definitely look into the links that were posted above.  I THINK I still have a word document that a friend of mine created after reading the babywise book that gave a really good summary of the book, if you're interested shoot me an email and I'll be happy to send it to you.  jonesfamily AT sc.rr.com

Just remember, EVERYONE has an opinion on the best way to raise a baby.  But no one will know what is best for YOUR babies other then YOU!  So, take advice and read what you can...and then make the best decision for your family!  

Good luck!   

mrskimmieD

MrsLee04:

I have rarely known a baby to NOT STTN by 6 months, and I've known tons of babies and mommies throughout my life, so I say for a lot of them it is luck and it is common. 

Well my son is one week shy of eight months and is not sleeping through the night.  I don't believe it is "luck" that gets them to sleep through the night because that would mean that I am unlucky since my doesn't sleep through the night.