A little bummed today. . .

ColoRxGirl

For those who don't remember my post a few days back, I mentioned that our SW had shown our profile to a birthmom last week - and we got some really good feedback.  In fact, of the profiles she looked at, she took 3 home to think over - and ours was one of the three!  That's good.

SW had called earlier this week with info on a few situations coming up, including one who would be looking at profiles today.  So, of course, I got my hopes up.  Even though it's only been a couple of months - and, truth be told, we're not quite ready for placement.  Our nursery furniture isn't here yet and the nursery itself is chaos because of another project.

Well, the BM didn't choose us.  She loved our profile, but felt a connection to another family.  And I'm sad!  I know this (rejection) is part of the process, but I was really let down.  I didn't even realize how much I was hoping she would choose us until I got the message.

The good news is that our agency is pretty busy - several situations coming up over the next few months and lots more chances for BP to see us.  But I was really blindsided by my level of disappoinment today.

Anyone else feel like this when they knew their profile was seen but not chosen?

FinallyMrs.G

I'm so sorry! ((HUGS))  I haven't been in your shoes but I can only imagine. Your agency being busy with new BM's is good news. GL!

crystalpopcorn

Awww, I'm sorry RX lady. 

You know that your baby is out there for you, but I'm sure that doesn't make the rejection any easier.  Is your agency always going to tell you when your profile is shown, or did they just tell you b/c these were special situations?  

 Hugs!

ColoRxGirl

What's funny is that I actually didn't expect to hear much when our profile was shown.  In retrospect, I'd almost rather not know.

But, there were a couple of things about the situations they wanted to run by us, so I think that's why we were in the loop on this set of showings.

Luvadoptedkids

I'm so sorry... I've been on the same kind of ups and downs with waiting for our embryo match.  You hear about some and then it doesn't happen.  My solution is order a pizza, rent a great movie and have a good cry in the shower.  ...Wait.. that might be why I'm fat.  Maybe a good walk would be better. 

Praying for you.  t.

GLynn2009

Sorry....I would think that it is natural to feel disappointed. I feel disappointed and it is not even my baby hopes.

BeachJenn

I do know how it feels. Our agency works the same way. They only call if the situation is out of our box. We have been rejected, it hurt.

What helped for me is to know that child was not ours, ours was probably growing somewhere and we would be matched when the time was right.

I got really low the week before we got the call. I thought there was no way I could handle this for much longer. I really believe we are only given what we can handle. We got the call that next Monday.  

(((hugs))) You will make it through and when you're matched you will forget all about it.

PSU-NCBride

I cried every time. We were turned down 4 times. To me it felt like I was being dumped. Each time we would find signs that this was "our baby". They were obviously wrong. I was recently thinking to myself, I wonder how the other three families felt when we were chosen for H. I feel bad that there were probably other families who thought H was "their baby" while we were rejoicing.?

lisanjay

We were shown about 20 times and each of those times it hurt. But the bmom of your child is going to pick you. And that is the ONE that you want! She is going to read your words and look at your pictures and KNOW that you are meant to be the parents to her child.

MayDayGirl

I did every time.  Even the times when we agreed a certain situation wasn't for us.  I'm sorry :::hugs::::

M&MBride0506

I'm so sorry Colo...I haven't been in your situation yet, but I'm sure it sucks.  I mean, even though you aren't completely ready, rejection no matter what...simply sucks.  Keep your head up and when your baby finds you, it will be right.  I know that sounds corny, but I actually believe it. 

Art Teacher

I'm sorry you're feeling down.  It was hard - with our agency you only hear from them every other month.  They tell you afterwards how many times your profile was shown.  It was hard hearing that it was shown but we weren't picked. 

I hope that you get some good news soon - it's great that your agency is so busy!

Jessie*J

Sorry to hear that hon! I hope something comes your way soon!

jewele803

Yeah, I think it's totally normal to be bummed.  For us, we had one scenario where BM decided to go w/ another agency.  We knew she had seen our profile and it felt like she had rejected US, not the agency.  It was really hard for a few weeks afterwards...

It's great that you received such positive feedback on your profile, I think not knowing what she though would be hard.

 Don't get discouraged...this time it was just not meant to be...