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Preemies
I get so sick of repeating myself.
I swear to you, our families just CAN NOT accept that Robbie's eating isn't normal. I guess the whole surgery-to-put-a-tube-in-his-stomach-after-being-in-the-hospital-for-starving thing wasn't convincing enough.
My MIL was here this weekend Friday night- Monday afternoon.
Robbie has had a really unpleasant reaction to the antibiotic he's on for a stubborn ear infection and his digestive system is having fits. So he's been on pedialyte, small amounts of plain breastmilk and a bit of a BRAT diet all weekend.
Saturday he had a GREAT eating day. The best eating day he's ever had. Ate a whole jar of baby food in one day.. Opening his mouth, wanting more etc. It was awesome.
Of course, come Sunday, he wanted nothing to do with food. He'd gotten a feeding at 9 the night before, then pedialyte overnight, then about 11:00 the next morning, I tried to feed him solids. My MIL comments "you should be starving!" Of course, he wouldn't eat anyway... I explained that it doesn't have anything to do with hunger or flavor.. he just eats when he wants to.
Monday, same thing. She comments "but you liked it the other day" as he refused to eat again. AGAIN, I explained, it's not about hunger or flavor.. he eats when he wants to.
TODAY, I tell her we had a rough night because I tried to give him some formula and his stomach revolted.. and I said I was just going to keep him on pedialyte and breastmilk and a bit of BRAT diet in his tube until these antibiotics are done.
AGAIN, she says "well, if you're not giving him much, that should make him good and hungry so he'll eat more solids."
I'm fairly cranky as it is (PMS) and I swear, I wanted to strangle her. I just don't know how many times I can explain to everyone that it isn't because we're feeding him too much in the tube, it isn't because we're not offering him the right food. HE HAS AN EATING DISORDER. IT IS COMMON IN PREEMIES. ALL THE EXPERTS HAVE AGREED. I AM HIS MOTHER AND I KNOW BEST.
They are making me insane.
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Re: I get so sick of repeating myself.
Thanks girls. I am over it tonight. I'm on some provera to induce a period (AF has been MIA for 5 months- No, I'm not pregnant.) and I swear it's making me crankier than usual. And this topic makes me cranky anyway.
I've explained it *SO* many times. I've even tried to say "gosh, it sure was frustrating the other day when ____________ suggested it was because I wasn't offering the right food" trying to sort of politely say "you know, it's really annoying when you say that."
i guess the next step is to just say "you know, I REALLY wish you would stop SAYING that."
I know she'll feel bad, get defensive etc.. but I've been as nice as I can be about it.
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I'm sorry. That sucks. We were at my father's house this weekend and had our usual problems feeding DS. He didn't want the bottle at all and Dad says "why don't you wait an hour and give him the bottle again. he will be more hungry and might want it then." Uh, NO! It has nothing to do with hunger. DS doesn't want to eat period. If we waited until DS wanted to eat, he wouldn't be alive right now. hrumph.
(hugs)
Yeah.....people just don't get it. Seriously - it's not in their DNA to understand how someone might not WANT to eat even if they are starving.
I've had so many people tell us to stop giving Olivia stuff in her tube at all or give her chocolate pudding - everyone likes that. Thanks people. Given the fact that Olivia doesn't know, want to, freaks out about trying to swallow I'm pretty sure that won't work.
I have tried this with some success: First, listen to their suggestion as if it's the most fascinating thing you've ever heard. Nod knowingly. Then say: Yeah, we've actually tried. ________________(fill in the blank with whatever lame suggestion has been given) that and so far it hasn't worked. In fact I talked about it with our feeding therapist/doctor and she said that kids like _________(fill in your kid's name) don't respond to that type of thing because of the medical issues they have. It's very common for that not to work. But thanks for the idea anyway!
The only reason this works is because I act like I really appreciate their suggestion and then tell them the doctor discredited whatever it is.
It doesn't work all the time but sometimes it shuts people up for awhile.
PP- that's pretty much the method I do already. If it's someone new and their first suggestion, anyway. People just don't know. But when it's our families, who I have politely explained to oh.. somewhere around 183 times, I think they could stop saying the same damned things.
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i'm sorry you're having to go through that... people only know about termies and some people aren't even willing to learn about preemies...
stick to your guns and hang in there. you're definitely in charge of the situation, and know your little man better than anyone.
can you set your husband on her?