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I think we want to adopt

jessie_03_17jessie_03_17
in Adoption
Hello everybody! I have been lurking on this board for awhile now and just decided to post. My husband and I have been talking about startig the adoption process after I finish my nursing dgree, which will be 18 months. We do have one biological son who was born 10.5 weeks premature, I was preeclamptic as well as some other complications. The doctors have told e that if we decided to have another child I would most likely run into those complications again, which terrifies me. In addition, seeing my son in the NICU for 6 wks was very hard, I am not sure I could handle all that again. Therefore, we are considering adoption. I have been researching domestic vs. international and would be happy with eiter option. However, I am concerned it will take us awhile to get matched because we already have a child, did anyone find this to be true? I plan to pick up Adoption for Dummies, but in the mean time I wanted to get your input. Thanks!
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Re: I think we want to adopt

  • so1966so1966

    welcome to the board! this is a great, informative board full of wonderful, supportive women.

    i honestly don't think the fact that you have child already makes any difference in adopting a child.

    good idea in pickup up the book (adoption for dummies). that's exactly what i did....

     

    After 7 years of marriage and 5 unsuccessful IVFs, we have been granted the gift of adopting a baby boy, born 4/21/11.
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  • lrrblrrb

    Welcome!  Adoption is TRULY one of the most blessed things this world has to offer.  With that said..its one heck of a roller coaster.  I would say for SURE go and pick up the book and do a lot of researching.  And I agree with PP I don't think it will be a big deal that you already have a child - some might over look you but their baby isn't meant for you anyways! =)  Your perfect child will come!!!!!!

     God Bless

    "I have four children. Two are adopted. I forget which two. -Bob Constantine

    "All for Love,' a Saviour prayed 'Abba Father have Your way. Though they know not what they do...Let the Cross draw men to You...."

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  • jacksjerseygirljacksjerseygirl member

    Welcome! You're out of the shadows so you must post more often now :-)

    Since you have plenty of time before you will be ready to start the process - I would spend this time reading about both IA and DA until you find that one speaks to you more than another path.

    Also, look in your area for adoption fairs - you can look at different agencies and paths without feeling like you have to commit.

    In my area there is a support group that is limited, five couples, and it begins with those in the research stage and goes through finalization - so maybe there is something like that around you where live that you can join. It's a great resource and a good place to build relationships IRL of others going the same direction as you.

    As you probably know by now with DA - expectant mothers/birth mothers select adoptive couples for a lot of different reasons (they like where you live, they like what you do for a living, they like that you will be SAH, they like that you have an older child, they like that you have a cat and not a dog, etc and visa versa). Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason - just what speaks to the e-mom.

    I would not think that having a child already is necessarily going to add to your waiting. In fact, in some cases, you might wait less time. I don't think this is an issue at all with IA but I haven't thoroughly researched that path.

    Good luck to you! 

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