? of the day.. Thurs

Medtwin

Do you have a parent or relative that doesn't approve of your IUI or IVF choice? And how are you responding to it? 

    I'm not sure if my mom 'doesn't' approve...but when I've tried to explain it to her..she doesn't get it.  I know that she had 4 (i'm a twin) kids & probaly doesn't "understand" it.. but I've tried to explain & be a little educational to her to why we're going this route..her answer a week ago was, "oh, it's really nice out, ah?" (so she ignored everything I was saying..

  hmm.. so my new approach is to just let them know when we get pregnant.

momagain2009

I've decided not to share this information with my family, they thought it was weird that the Dr was prescribing Clomid.  My mom's response was, "But that's for women that are infertile or have problems with fertility."  She's so smart!!!!

Medtwin

Geesh.. and I thought I was the only one.  Sometimes I feel hurt about it.. I know it's probably just 'ignorance'..and I don't want to stress about it..so I'm choosing not to say anything to her..

Good for you for having the strength not to mention it to anyone..

MDBeachbride

My parents don't really know what's going on but my mom offered the other day to pay for us to have an IUI or IVF.  I thought that was really sweet BUT I told her than we are waiting to switch insurance plans in 2010 if we have to go that route. 

I am an only child and my mom chose not to have additional kids so, I don't get why she is so pro more kids for me (I have 1). 

 Sorry you guys aren't experiencing the same. 

panda246

I'm sorry your Mom is a little "out to lunch".  I wonder if she was listening...just didn't know what to say.  It will be interesting to see if she ever brings it up to you. 

My DH side of the family knows what's going on, but we've chosen to keep my side of the family out of the loop.  Everyone live far enough apart and never interact so there's no fear that DH's family would let something slip.  We're just not certain the reaction we will get from my family.  Right now, if you're not going to be supportive we just don't need any BS.  We will probably tell them once a definite course of treatment has been decided.

ToshaGirl

Sorry you are going through that. She probably just doesn't know what to say.

We just didn't tell anyone anything about ttc. Didn't want any comments or questions.  

hollymichael

We are the opposite. We just told DH's parents recently and they have been very supportive.  My parents know too and have been really supportive. They suffered from secondary IF after me (I'm an only child) so they had all the testing done, clomid, etc. Turned out my dad is azoo so they even tried IUI with donor sperm.  This was back in the mid 70's mind you!

Sorry your mom isn't supportive. I am sure this makes it even harder.  Well, know that you have all of us on your side!

melaniesc

To this day only a very small handful of our family knows that we did IUIs and IVF and I 1 of my friends knows - none of DH's friends know. We were always pretty tight lipped when we started TTC and got even moreso when we started to have problems.

 Interestingly, my Mom always used to say stuff like 'when you have kids, etc.' because she didn't know what was going on and just assumed all was ok. I finally broke down and told her about our 2 mcs because I was getting worn down. Even though she was being nice, she didn't realize that her comments were hurting me cause I wasn't sure when/if we'd have a baby.

  Mind you, my Mom and I are not that close and she doesn't know anything about IF treatments. She had her first kid at 20 - got ku on her honeymoon. But she was amazingly supportive once I told her everything and genuinely wanted to know about the process. One of the best moments I've ever had with her was when I was going through  my first IVF and she told me that she was "proud of me" for going through all of that to have a baby. I literally cried because it meant a lot that she understood that I was going through a lot to try to have a family and it still means a lot to me.

 Now DH's family on the other hand was weird. We told them what was going on and they even saw me taking meds when we were away with them on a vacation. Yet they never acknowledged it or asked about it. That was actually ok w/ me though cause I didn't want to answer a lot of questions and it almost made it like they didn't even know about it.

melaniesc

Sorry that your mom is being like that. I agree with you to not bother saying anything until when you are pg. if she ever asks you can always just say when you have something to share you will let her know.

 

joyfulnature

I'm sorry about your mom. She may just be emotionally overwhelmed by the whole thing - as in, she wishes you weren't going through this, and she gets emotional, and she doesn't want you to know she's getting emotional. Is that possible?

But I totally get the "need-to-know basis" approach.

 

We've been very selective with who we've told. Most of my friends had or are having their kids later - although not as late as me! - so they are familiar with at least the concept that it can be hard.

I worried about what my mom would think - she's supportive in everything, but she's old school and unfamiliar with all of this stuff. But she's been great.

Medtwin

Thanks everyone..i didn't log on last night..so just catching up.  Ironically, I was on my way to my 2nd bw/us appt this am at 6:30 & i decided to call her.. i said, 'i'm sure you know that we've started the shots.'..she said that my sister had told her we were going for them..i told her we do them ourselves..then i explained some of the procedure to her..& told her that i get it that she doesnt get it..but it's hurtful when she says nothing..'even if you dont know what to say.. you can ask how i'm doing..'.. she understood..so we'll see... i actually was very calm & not snippy as I thought of having the conversation..sooo.. i dont know.. we'll just see..

 i am so not feeling well..an infected tooth.. so she & what she understands about the process is the least of my worries right now..

 thanks for all your support ladies.