So, was this bad of me???

DandR

My SIL is not the type to yell or spank her kids...at all.  She is very much a softie and her 2 year old currently is in a "2 year old" phase of testing and pushing and often times my SIL caves to his demands or attitude.  But....its not my problem...nor is it my Dads.

My Dad however is annoyed with my SIL and her discipline techniques.  To the point that he b!tches about it anytime she isn't around.  (My brother is no different so I don't know why my dad puts all the blame on my SIL...guess its the mom thing.)

So last night we were at my bro and SIL's house for dinner and the 2 year old swung a plastic golf club and hit Audrey.  My dad flipped.  SIL was in the kitchen cooking and didn't see it.  She came to the living room and said "did DS do that?" I said "yeah, he swung the club and hit Audrey. She's fine."

My Dad jumps in and starts going crazy on my SIL "You need to do something about him.  You need to discipline him. You can't let him get away with that! He hit her on purpose!" (I don't know whether it was on purpose or not....its a golf club...golf clubs are made for swinging around!)

To which I jump to SIL's defense "oh he's two.  It happens."  SIL takes her son to timeout and made him apologize to Audrey and when I go back in the living room my dad starts whispering to me "I had to say something.  She can't just let him hit your kids like that!' To which I pretty much freaked out on my dad.....

"first of all you obviously do not remember what its like to have a 2 year old.  You weren't ever an involved parent anyways.  SIL is disciplining the way she wants and just because it wasnt' the way you did, with a belt, doesn't mean she is doing it wrong. Nephew is not a bad kid.  he's 2."

My dad got defensive and said "well, fine, I'm leaving." and sat outside for 30 minutes or so.  (he is MUCH like a toddler)

So was I wrong?  My mom is a giant door mat...and while she complains to me when my dad complains about SIL, she would never say anything directly to him.  And I cannot imagine the amount of fury I would have if my FIL attempted to tell ME how to discipline, so I was really feeling bad for my SIL who was trying to be a nice hostess and have us over for dinner......

BTW--while this all went down, my brother was outside grilling, so he wasn't there to step in for my SIL....

DandelionMom

Sounds like you're a great SIL.  Hopefully he learned to STFU. 

buffalo_buckeye

I'm that person in my family.  I'm always the one to tell the parent how it is and how their behavior is not appropriate. My brothers let my parents get away with everything.

I probably would have done the same as your sil.  I mean at 2 they just want to see what happens, they usually aren't trying to be malicious. 

I think it was nice of you to stick up for your sil and hopefully your parents will learn to mind their own business.  JMO though. 

neesernicole

DandelionMom:

Sounds like you're a great SIL.  Hopefully he learned to STFU. 

ditto

emilykristene2006

I don't know if what you did was wrong. My dad says things all the time, "We didn't lock everything up" We didn't rush home and worry about your naps" "We didn't worry as much as you guys do"

I finally said, "YOU didn't do anything." My mom did it all until the day she passed away. My dad brags that he never changed a diaper. Good Job Dad. 

I make comments all the time when he feels the need to tell me what I do is wrong. If he can dish it, he should be able to take it. Problem is, he doesn't take it well. 

FWIW, I would have stood up for SIL, too.

 

Reagan's Mommy

Sounds like you did the right thing.  That was really nice of you to stand up for her like that. 

MarchMom06

Reagan's Mommy:

Sounds like you did the right thing.  That was really nice of you to stand up for her like that. 

This.

cnybride2be

considering you said he's on sil and the two year old's case a lot, you were not being too harsh trying to set your dad straight (i agree w/ pp that it was great support to your sil).  if it was your dad reacting like that for the first time then an easier chill dad your grandson's two would have sufficed.  but that wasn't the case.  i say good for you.  i would've said the same thing to my dad.  (which makes me lol because none of his baby grandkids ever do anything wrong.)