s/o - how do you discipline for rude behavior

DevonPow

DS has gotten RUDE in the last few months - yelling "no" in nasty ways to us, being very demanding in how he asks for things (lots of "right now!", etc) and has started up with ridiculous demands (a lot of "NO TALKING! To me and DH when we are talking to each other, etc).

I make him re-word things every time (have him say "no thank you", etc) and obviously don't give in to ridiculous requests like no talking. I tell him he is being rude, but I feel like I don't have an effective discipline/correction strategy for this. So far we use timeouts for severe infractions (dangerous activities or him hitting, etct) and try natural consequences for other issues.

What do you do for rudeness? Are all 2 year olds this rude?

Halo79RN

just wait 'til 3.  OMG my dd has become such a sass.  I ignore her when she talks to me like that.  Well, I first correct her and if she keeps it up , I ignore her... many times it's for the reaction and the attention. I just don't give it to her and she stops.  I've heard it gets better at 4.  I'm hoping.  only 6 more months.... of course ds is starting the 2s.  they get each other going too.  ugh.

Amanda&Chris

Yes, they can be.

I do the same thing as you.  I don't like to over use time out so I either correct her when she's rude or I ignore her.  I will sometimes say "Mommy and Daddy are talking" or "Mommy's on the phone", etc. one time and then ignore after that.  And if she is quiet/patient I try to acknowledge her ASAP, handle her situation, and then go back to my conversation if I need to.

RieTea

dd is also in this phase. We have also been asking her to rephrase in her nice or polite words.

 We ignore her demands (depends on the situation and how demanding she is being)...sometimes it works, if not we tell her firmly that we are talking and try to distract her.

 dh was agreeing to do whatever she said (in his words, to keep the peace) and I reminded him that she isn't the boss of such things and we aren't trying to raise a monster...i think he got the point.

if it is something like we are singing in the car and she wants me to stop then I have her ask me nicely and then I point out how when you ask nicely sometimes people will do what you ask.

I believe I read recently (Parents mag maybe) that this is a normal phase and it is about learning boundaries and realizing they control things and seeing what all they can control.

I really make a point of praising her polite talking when she does it.

Zenya

DevonPow:

I make him re-word things every time (have him say "no thank you", etc) and obviously don't give in to ridiculous requests like no talking. I tell him he is being rude,

i do this + watch how I speak to him so that I'm not demo'ing rude behavior myself.

krub

At 2 I mostly ignore it and laugh it off to show her that she is not bothering me like she'd hoped.  When she's demanding, I ask her to ask nicely and will not give her what she wants until she rephrases (which she will do if she wants it badly enough).  DS is 4 and he gets a warning for rude behavior.  If he doesn't knock it off, he will go to his room or sit on the step.

veloelle

Same discipline as other poor behavior - time outs. She gets time outs for talking back if it's bad. We started telling her her behavior is not acceptable. I think I've put her in time out a handful of times for it. She had two timeouts before 7:30 am today, but has gone days w/out any.

Also, she's started asking us a question "Mama, did you put milk in my glass?"  "Yes, DD." "No you didn't."    Um, not so much. She constantely asks a question, then will say no, that's not how it is. She's starting to get in trouble for that-time outs if she won't heed me telling her it is rude to contradict me/DH when asking a question w/ a black & white answer.

Edit: DD does the same thing at the dinner table re: interrupting me and DH. I'll usually tell her that she had her time to talk (she's a motor mouth) and now it's me and DH's turn to talk. When we are done, I will look at her and say "ok, we are done w/ our convo. What did you want to talk about?" I always tell her it is not acceptable to interrupt and she will have a chance to talk. And we follow through.

KrisBriMcBunny

when she is being obnoxious & rude when asking for something....more like demanding but whatever...I tell her " is that how we ask?"  and she will correct herself.

mlm1128

Yes, dd went through a very long year of this.  She will be 4 in a couple of months and has gotten alot better.  She was a nasty, demanding little sass for a good long time though.  We just corrected her, and ignored her if she kept doing it.

We have now reached the phase of "stop looking at me" when she is singing or dancing.