My dad is being tormented

4Speedy

This is another post about my dad.  It's therapeutic for me but might be getting boring for everyone on here so ignore it if you want.

We are so confused by my dad's condition and honestly, my mom, sister and I are doubting he still has the ability to get better.  Physically he's had more setbacks but they (the doctors) are doing a reasonable job of bringing him back around.  But we have no explanation for his state of mind.  He seems to have had so much trauma that he has had a break with reality.  For almost two weeks he has been stuck in another place that we can't bring him out of.  He talks about how he was awake all night because there were so many skeletons in his room.  It's his job to put them in boxes but the boxes don't fit so he has to crunch up their toes.  But he's taking care of it because he has more boxes ordered.  he also has some major paranoia going on.  He is convinced, to the point that he rocks back and forth muttinering all the time about how nobody understands how much danger we are all in.  He asked me if I would go buy him about a half dozen tasers so he can protect us.  He is convinced someone is trying to steal a large sum of money from him but when you question him about it, his large sum is "about 30 dollars."  He is extrememly worried about my mom while he is in the hospital because he thinks someone is trying to "firebomb" their house.  His "proof" is that their were 2 fire trucks at their house.  (There were--when my mom called 911 for the ambulance, they also sent a firetruck and an EMS vehicle--my dad saw them as he was being wheeled out.)

It just goes on and on and on, all day long with the most disturbing stories coming out of his mouth.  But he believes all of it with his whole heart and he is just tormented by all the worrying.  There is absolutely nothing we can do to distract him from his worrying.  And if we tell him everything is fine, he gets highly agitated and tells us we just don't understand. 

The original explanation was that it was dilerium caused by kidney failure and dehydration due to all the medication/antibiotics he is on.  But they've changed that all up and he is no longer in kidney failure.  Now they are throwing around post traumatic stress disorder due to the magnitude of his medical issues.

We have been so hopeful that he would recover physically/medically but now I am starting to have some doubts.  Even as I type this, there is no way I can fully convey what my dad is going through.  It is heart breaking to see him so consumed with worry.  I really do think it is tormenting his soul.  I have no other words for it.

Thanks for reading this. 

ellemoney:)

Ugh, I'm so sorry Speedy. That's so hard to deal with. ?My grandmother had a brain bleed and it did this to her as well, it wasn't quite as scary.. like how your dad thinks people are going to 'get' you.. but it was just bizarre. She was in a different state, but kept saying she was in her hometown.?

She actually said that they moved the city park that's right next to the hospital in Kentucky to her hometown in Ohio. And you couldn't tell her that she wasn't right.. she'd just say "I've lived here for 71 years and I know where I am." ?It was hard.

She did get better though, hopefully your Dad will too. [[hugs]]?

DandR

This may not be helpful at all, but something I just learned from my sis who is a nurse....apparently one of the first things docs should test of an elderly person is having dementia type symptoms is for a UTI....for whatever reason UTI's in older people make them "crazy".  Anyways, if they haven't tested him for that, maybe they should???  Just a thought....unless he is on antibiotics for other stuff anyways that would take care of an UTI....

and, I'm really sorry.  It's horrible to see your parent like that...so helpless and not the parent you "remember". 

mlm1128

I'm so sorry.  I have an aunt that went through the same thing for months.  Does he have several dr's by any chance?  Her issue was that the doctors were prescribing meds that didn't mix at all.  It was terrible.

Jodi&Joe

My BF's father went through something similar --- and it ended up being his heart that was the issue.  (He was on the verge of a heart attack for months --- and wasn't getting enough oxygen, etc which was causing the paranoia).

They discovered this AFTER he had the heart attack (he lived).

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this.  I was living with my BF and father at the time he was having these delusions and it was NOT easy.  (For example, we bought a huge amount of halloween candy and had it in a laundry basket for senior dress up day at school and he thought it was drugs, disguised as candy.  He also thought that there were people plotting to have him killed.  It was very bizarre!)

mikeandmonica

Hugs - I don't have anything to add, but I wanted to let you know that someone else is thinking about you/praying for you guys. I cannot imagine how heartbreaking it would be to see my dad go through something like that, but just know that we're here when you need us.

breezee_bean

:::hugs::: I am so sorry=(  I cannot imagine how you (and your father) are feeling.  I am sending you tons of good thoughts. 

FloF9

Yes UTI's could be the culprit.  This happened to my mother in Feb - she had no idea where she was.  She had no idea who I was - she couldn't remember.  She was very paranoid and upset and kept talking incoherently.  Good Luck - I hope your dad recovers quickly.

Rebekah1021

DandR:

This may not be helpful at all, but something I just learned from my sis who is a nurse....apparently one of the first things docs should test of an elderly person is having dementia type symptoms is for a UTI....for whatever reason UTI's in older people make them "crazy".  Anyways, if they haven't tested him for that, maybe they should???  Just a thought....unless he is on antibiotics for other stuff anyways that would take care of an UTI....

and, I'm really sorry.  It's horrible to see your parent like that...so helpless and not the parent you "remember". 

This is so true! My great aunt just had this happen to her a couple of weeks ago.

So sorry you are dealing with this. Please feel free to vent to us all you need.

4Speedy

DandR:

This may not be helpful at all, but something I just learned from my sis who is a nurse....apparently one of the first things docs should test of an elderly person is having dementia type symptoms is for a UTI....for whatever reason UTI's in older people make them "crazy".  Anyways, if they haven't tested him for that, maybe they should???  Just a thought....unless he is on antibiotics for other stuff anyways that would take care of an UTI....

and, I'm really sorry.  It's horrible to see your parent like that...so helpless and not the parent you "remember". 

DandR--he was tested imediately for a UTI when the ambulance got him to the ER.  One of the reasons the home nurse had us take him back to the hospital was because he had not peed in close to 24 hours due to the kidney failure.  Because of the lack of urination, they checked for a UTI but it came back negative.

4Speedy

Jodi&Joe:

My BF's father went through something similar --- and it ended up being his heart that was the issue.  (He was on the verge of a heart attack for months --- and wasn't getting enough oxygen, etc which was causing the paranoia).

They discovered this AFTER he had the heart attack (he lived).

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this.  I was living with my BF and father at the time he was having these delusions and it was NOT easy.  (For example, we bought a huge amount of halloween candy and had it in a laundry basket for senior dress up day at school and he thought it was drugs, disguised as candy.  He also thought that there were people plotting to have him killed.  It was very bizarre!)

Jodi, this does pertain to my dad, sort of. My Dad has severe chronic obstructive pulmonary disease--his lungs are shot from years of smoking.   He had pneumonia and while recovering from that he had a ruptured aneurysm in his aorta.  He had a major surgery to correct that and then 2 days later had a heart attack.  They said he had an 80% blockage of the entire left side of his heart and would not survive another heart attck, so they imediately did a quintuple bypass.  So he had about 15 hours of surgery in a very short timeframe.  Coming off of that much anesthesia and the ventilator cause a very severe case of pneumonia (again).  Then he went into liver and kidney failure from all the antibiotics.  The liver failure caused malnutrition so they put him back on a vent and a feeding tube.  Every time they put him back on a vent, they worry that his lungs will weaken to the point that they won't function on their own, so they try to only keep him on a vent for 24-36 hours at a time.  So  low oxygen is definitely a factor.  However, a neurologist has looked at his scans and says there is no brain damage, stroke, sign of oxygen deprivation, etc.  So it is all a huge mystery.  It's to the point where he has so many co-morbidities that they can't pinpoint which symptoms to attribute to which cause.  It's a mess.

Jodi&Joe

Speedy -- I am so sorry!  That is so much going on at once.  And sounds like it might be a combo of all of it that is causing the paranoia! 

(((HUGS)))