Multiples

Can you relate?

On my last day of work a woman that works next to me came to me and said, "you are going to get so big! I mean twins? you are going to get HUGE!" I gave a courtsey laugh and rolled my eyes. but what I wanted to say was HELLO! I am aware I might get a little bigger than a singleton mom. That comment is getting pretty old. How do you deal?

Re: Can you relate?

  • the comments never stop - people feel the need to say something about the twins every time i'm out with them.  99% of the time they mean to be nice- but just say stupid things... sometimes they do mean to be rude like "congrats, I guess"...

    we have a few standard comebacks- depending on our moods. Most of the time i'm super nice and just smile... a few times i've said things that are not super nice when people make stupid comments.

    You just get used to it... and learn not to make eye contact :)

  • I agree with pp, the comments won't stop even after your babies are here. 

    When I was pregnant, a guy I work with said "What's up chubby?" when I walked into a meeting.  I was speechless.  Of course there were many reponses I thought about after and none of them were nice.

    Hang in there and try to ignore the stupid people ;-)

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  • Even though tactless comments hurt, try your very best to ignore them. I know it's hard, but just remember your PG is different than a singleton and so some people just don't know any better than to think before they speak.

    Be proud of your growing bump (that's what I have to tell myself at least--my sister is PG with a singleton--we have the same due date, no joke!--and she looks like I did at 5 months and she's now over 8 mo. PG)--and remember that having a bigger than "average" (for singletons) bumpis not only normal but very healthy!!!

    Hang in there!!  Smile

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  • I have to deal with rude comments about being 36 and pregnant all the time and I mean hurtful things from people I would consider my friends.  I just try to remember that they probably aren't sitting around thinking of mean things to say to me just to hurt my feelings.  With a little practice I've gotten pretty good at ignoring all the rude comments.  I'm beginning to think we live in a society that hates children and pregnancy!
  • The most common one that I got when I said I was having twins was, "better you than me!".  My DDs are such a blessing, and I hate that people think of it as something negative.  Is it tough?  Sure.  Was I huge at the end of the pregnancy, and did I have to go on bedrest for 6 weeks?  Yes.  But it was worth EVERY minute of that to have them in our lives and our family.  MoMs understand this like no one else can.
  • Ditto the pp's; the stupid comments will keep coming. I just try to ignore them. If they're particularly rude or nosy (e.g. the "So did you use fertility treatments?") I might say something.
    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
  • I'm already trying to think of things to say to some of the comments that you ladies of multiples are dealing with...

    I was over at a friend's house last night and her friend when she left said "good luck, you'll have your hands full" and I was like I'm not looking forward to those comments (she wasn't rude, nor was she trying to be), but she mentioned that people might make comments, like herself, just since they're "sympathyzing" with the situation at which point I pointed out that I see it at a double blessing and as much as I can't imagine how difficult it's going to be, I won't know any different since these will be our first.  :)

    I did have one girl I know who had a fussy baby turn around and say "you'll have two of these in a year's time" at which point I just kind of laughed and said "I know".  I still think her comment was meant in a "can't wait to see how you handle it".  I don't see the need for people to point that out- we KNOW!  :)

     

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  • I can relate to that! They actually have a poll going on at my work about how much weight I will gain! Everyone is in on it. Its so embarassing!
  • The comments won't stop and sometimes get worst once the babies come.

    People are rude.  You can either be rude back, ignore them or kill them with kindness.

    Most time I do it with kindness only because my 27 month old DD is always with me.

    It is especially hard for me because I don't like attention drawn to me, but go to target with twin boys and a toddler it brings attention.

  • YES. I swear some people.

     

     People at my work used to say...oh we're going to have to get together over the summer so we can see how big you are, incase you don't come back until AFTER the babies are born. Jerks. Too bad I went out a couple weeks later on emergency BR..she did bring it up once to which I said..well, the biggest I really got was what I was like when I left here for L&D...during my 3.5 weeks in the hospital I lost 10 pounds and struggled in the next 6.5 weeks to gain just 3 pounds..that shut her up, but I seriously wanted to be like...YOU HAVE NERVE LADY! jerks.

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