How much harder? (Sorry long)

rebecca_cross

I normally do not like too much of my personal stuff out there.  Medical stuff I am kinda whatever about b/c I have had to talk to many different people about it for years now, I am essentially over it.  Other personal things I generally don't talk about but I am very overwhelmed right now.  

My DF and I have had money problems for a while and then  he lost his job but we were doing ok.  Then my hours got cut, then my boss wanted me to do some things that could get me into legal trouble if I participated so I was pretty much stuck at quit or call in corporate and get fired. We found ourselves in a place where we had to either be pre-emptive and leave our apartment or get evicted.  Well my family doesn't really have room for me moving back in let alone both of us, his family is in the middle of a large amount of remodeling and is unwilling to add a pregnant woman to the mix until they are closer to done.  

Now my mother's usually snarky comments I can get over but she got so bad recently I had to vent about it on here.  Of course with me living under her roof again it is turning into high school all over again, where I am nothing but inconvenient and she is in charge, so I heel or I get yelled at.  So I just try to calmly take everything and let it roll off my back without worrying too much b/c I know that is just how she is.  I have to say with pregnancy hormones that is pretty hard sometimes.  

My DF cannot really find a job without his family's help, they live out in the country and he can''t get a license b/c of epilepsy.   His family is willing to help but only so much.  He is also only close to a small town so jobs in a good economy are limited now, I don't have much hope.

Now that we have finally closed our accounts and what not from where we were living I am finding out exactly how much trouble we are in financially.  I really feel like I am up against a brick wall with no where to go.  No one will hire me b/c even though I am only 4 1/2 months pregnant I look very pregnant and obviously they are not coming out and saying "we won't hire you b/c you're pregnant" but I know that when I meet all job requirements and I am still not getting hired even though the interview went splendid aside from the whole pregnancy thing, there is no reason but my pregnancy that I don't have a job yet.  

I guess I am just overwhelmed, I can't even get my thoughts together enough to figure out what I just typed.  I really don't know what I can do b/c until I can find a way out of this mess I will be stressed out which doesn't help the medical side of this but what can I do?  I am 65 miles away from my DF and we are in such a  mess I cannot fathom getting out of it just us, but getting out of it with a baby on the way?  My biggest dread is how much worse can it possibly get before it starts to get better?

 I don't know what I am asking for here  other than just some helpful advice or prayers.  To be honest the only constant support aside from my fiance has been this website and I don't know who else to ask for prayer from.   

mooeta

You should try to apply for unemployment to help out financially and if necessary other forms of public aid. Go get signed up for WIC, get a medicare card and see if they can find you housing and pay for it. 

Everything will work out you just have to look into things that will help you get through.

TCTF

I have to tell you, just from your tone in this message, you sound like you're doing much better emotionally and mentally than a lot of people. Keep your chin up, it will get better, even if it feels like it will never end, there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. At least your mother is letting you stay with her, even if her comments are crappy. You're doing really well by keeping things to yourself, because chances are good that if you talk back she'll just get worse. And I'm sure that since she's your mom, you would know by now if putting her in her place would help any.

You want to make sure that any time you go in for an interview to bring up the pregnancy yourself if its that obvious and make sure they know that you'll still be able to do your job while pregnant. If you don't tell them that you can still work they might think you're hiding something and won't be able to perform the way they want. And if you can't find anything at all, try babysitting. You'll get more experience, and people would actually be more willing to let someone whose pregnant watch their kids because they're more likely to feel like you'll know what to do, since you're having a child yourself.

And I know how you feel about this website, without my mother living near me, I would be completely clueless as what I'm supposed to do if it wasn't for all the help I get on here. Just remember, you will get through this. Even if its just one day at a time, keep in mind that soon you'll have your baby in your arms, and that someday you and your family will all be together and this hard time will pass. Set some goals, like "If I make it through this week without a melt down, I'll have that extra scoop of ice cream" or something similar. It will get better!

rebecca_cross

Thank you, especially for the vote of confidence.  I am just trying to focus on being strong for LO, but right now it is hard.  I am on WIC and I have Paramount Advantage through Medicaid.  I don't know about unemployment but I will look into it anyway.  

Again, I just want to say thank you.  I am praying like crazy but sometimes you just need that human factor, the reassurement that you aren't crazy.   

oohgrrl11

Wow that is alot to deal with, especially when you are pregnant and are supposed to relax. I would suggest applying for unemployment even though you quit and were not fired. You can even put on the forms that you were asked to do unethical or illegal things. My father in law just won his unemployment case for the same reason. He was a dump truck driver and his employer was telling him to lie about the weights of the loads so they could overcharge the customer and other similiar things. It took a few months but he did end up winning and got to claim the unemployment benefits. My 2nd suggestion is maybe you could try to rent a room somewhere that has public transportation so your DF can find a job that he won't have to depend on his family for. Or maybe he can apply for disability benefits and can be a stay at home dad? As for your finanial issues, if it is a huge amount maybe you can file for bancruptcy? I wish you the best of luck. My husband is laid off and his unemployment is about to run out. Now my hours got cut too...scary times.

wildflower865

My sister had all sorts of assistance while pregnant.  While the above posters had great ideas, I can only add to check w/ your obgyn about any more resources you could use.  Birthright was one that helped my sister and I don't even think she had to prove need.  They even gave her a gift card to a maternity store.  BTW, I always see pg ladies working in maternity stores.  Do you have a mall where you can apply?