siblings/IF poll

CandT

1. Do you have a sibling and do they suffer from IF too? 

2. If so what are their issues (if you want to share)?

3. How has this affected your relationship?

lnle

1. My husband and I each have a younger brother - as far as I know they have not tried to have kids (are not married and are very picky about their relationships) so I don't know about IF.

I do know that we're putting extra pressure on ourselves to provide grandbabies since our brothers show no signs of doing so anytime soon.

CandT

Me:  

1. Do you have a sibling and do they suffer from IF too? One sister and she does suffer from IF

2. If so what are their issues (if you want to share)? She had mutliple ectopic pregnancies, ovarian cysts with scar tissue issues, and multiple surgeries. She could never afford to do any treatments though and ended up getting a divorce over it.

3. How has this affected your relationship? It's been a little strained since I started TTC and then got a little better when I had trouble and then a little worse when I got my BFP. Now I just don't share much with her and I miss her a lot. Since I stopped sharing she stopped asking and now it's just weird.

** It sucks that IF affects so many of your relationships!! Friends, family, spouses no one is safe!**

Mainer-in-Texas

I have a younger sister and she has not tried to have kids,

My BIL and SIL were supposed to have TTTC because she has really bad endo. They started TTC in March of this year and announced they are 9 weeks pregnant two weeks ago. I don't know if/how this has affected MH's relationship, but I know he did not take the news too well. I am still extremely depressed about it. Not that I wanted them to have TTTC, I just wish it could be us, considering we've been trying for so much longer and suffered a loss.

Yellow_Daisy

1. Do you have a sibling and do they suffer from IF too?

I have 2 brothers and a sister.  My sister has 5 kids.  My brothers are too young to have kids and I will have to smack them around if they are trying , just the big sis in me.

DH has 2 sisters and 2 brothers. DH's sister is pg after doing IVF.  DH's other sister is severely disabled and will never have kids.  One brother's wife has unexplained IF and they ended up adopting after 10yrs of IF treatments.  DH's other brother and wife have decided not to have kids.

2. If so what are their issues (if you want to share)?  See question #1

3. How has this affected your relationship? Since all of us are in the same position in DH's family it has made things incredibly easy.  Everyone is very supportive of one another.

My family is a little harder.  My sister thinks about getting pg and bam she is pg.  However, my sister is incredibly supportive but my mom is incredibly worried about my health.  There is a lot of pressure to have babies and to not have babies depending on who you talk to.  

MerryMarisa

1. Do you have a sibling and do they suffer from IF too? I have 3 sisters.  One is currently pg with an oopsie.  Another is currently TTC #1 for the past two months.  My littlest sister is not TTC.

2. If so what are their issues (if you want to share)?  N/A.

3. How has this affected your relationship?  My relationship with my pg sister was rocky to begin with.  I love her but she is very self-centered.  So, these days everything for her is about her and her LO.  She doesn't consider the feelings of anyone else (myself included), which makes all of us not want to spend much time with her. 

Mrs.AmandaMqn

1. Do you have a sibling and do they suffer from IF too? 

I have 3 siblings and 2 of them have children. (My other brother is only 17)

H has 2 siblings and both have children. (SIL has had 3 kids in 3 years, drives me crazy)

2. If so what are their issues (if you want to share)?

n/a but my one of my SIL does have PCOS, isn't on medication for it or follow a diet and got pregnant 3 times on her own.

3. How has this affected your relationship?

I hated watching my immature 21 y/o sister have a baby this summer with a guy that is in and out of jail. In fact, I have cut all ties with her b/c of her choices. It's also painful to watch BIL and SIL have 3 kids so quickly when I can't even have 1. It's harder for H to see how fertile his brother is when H has azoospermia.

prazenjc

1. not really. one of my sisters and one SIL had a m/c each, but that was all. they had successful pregnancies on their next try. my mother is the closest one w/in my family who can relate to what i have been going thru.

2. oops, as i shared in #1, a sister and a SIL had a m/c each before their last child.

3. my SIL has probably been the most supportive person in my family throughout my process. she is always available, since she is a sahm and wanted so badly for me to get pg when she was pg w/her daughter 2 years ago. so, the closest cousin my baby will have will be 2 years older.

 

schoolsoutbride

1. Nope.  My Mom couldn't have any kids after me.

2. n/a but my issues are strikingly similar to my Mom's.

3. n/a

Me&Mr.T

1. Do you have a sibling and do they suffer from IF too? I have a younger brother and he definitely doesn't since he got a girl pregnant just out of HS (she miscarried) and then he got his gf pregnant last year (I do have a beautiful niece... but it is hard to think about). DH has an older brother and a younger brother, and we don't know because neither of them are married.

2. If so what are their issues (if you want to share)? n/a

3. How has this affected your relationship? it's been very hard on our relationship because his baby was born just after my miscarriage, and he was very mean the way he told me that his gf was pregnant. Honestly, he's done a lot of other stuff to hurt it and we are working on mending it. It hasn't changed our relationship with DH's brothers.

EastCoastGirl*

1. Do you have a sibling and do they suffer from IF too? 

I have one sister who conceived two children very easily.  DH has two sisters; one is unmarried, and the other conceived quickly as well.

2. If so what are their issues (if you want to share)?

N/A

3. How has this affected your relationship?

It hasn't affected the relationship with my sister at all.  Both times she got pregnant were well before DH and I were TTC, and she does not know now about our TTTC. 

On the other hand, I shared with DH's sister, with whom I used to be pretty close, that we were starting TTC at about the same time she was.  She had success on cycle 2 or 3, and I really struggled with that, especially because she just decided to wing it (no charting, no TCOYF, etc).  Then when she got KU'd, she complained nonstop for the next nine months about how embarrassed she was to be pregnant.  Meanwhile, I wasn't even ovulating regularly, so my tolerance limit got very short very quickly. 

Things have never been the same since then.  I feel like our TTTC has become the big elephant in the room as far as she's concerned; I'm sure she has an idea that we're still at it, but neither of us bring it up.  She emailed me once right after her BFP to ask how it going, and I never answered her, so she's never asked again.  But I also feel I'm kind-of taking out my TTTC frustration on her by keeping my distance, which I know is unfair.  In any case, I am really sorry that I even told her we were trying in the first place.  I hate that someone knows that we've failed at this so far.

ladychicago

1.   dh's older brother and his wife have had a long and very painful IF journey (that SIL is the link in my siggy below).    it has created a bond between us that i cannot describe... beautiful and tragic all at the same time.    i'm closer to that SIL than I am to any other person.   and it has honestly put a bit of a wedge between our relationship with a third SIL, who got pg on her 2nd try with my oldest nephew (and me and IF SIL are just holding our breath and expecting an announcement about pg#2 anyday now).     

my brother and his wife have been trying since Nov. 2008, and are 30 and 32.   they will be starting IF testing next cycle of this one doesn't work.   already, i feel that we are closer because of this.   they can now understand the rollercoaster of TTC, the pain when it doesn't work, and the fear that you'll never have a child.    i'm thankful for that understanding, even if i'd give anything for them NOT to have to experience this pain. 

2.   BIL/SIL are high FSH.     

3.   see above.

Tryingtogetpregnant

1. I have an older sister and brother

2. They definitely don't suffer from IF - both are fertile myrtles

3. My sister and I definitely have been very strained. She doesn't understand IF at all. I'm hoping our recent BFP can help patch things up.

 

susan1017

1. Do you have a sibling and do they suffer from IF too? 

Yes. My sister suffered terribly but is PG now through IVF.

2. If so what are their issues (if you want to share)?

She has PCOS. Her RE said it is one of the worst cases she has seen in her practice. My issues are related to the birth of my DD and an ovarian tumor. 

3. How has this affected your relationship?

It has improved.  We talk at least 2x a week and we can tell each other much of what we are going through. I would not wish that we are both going through IF but the silver lining is that it has brought us closer.

losethatsmile

1. Do you have a sibling and do they suffer from IF too? I have 1 older and 2 younger sisters (34, 20, and 18). DH has an older brother (30). DH's brother and SIL conceived the 1st month of ttc - twice. My oldest and youngest sisters haven't ever ttc. My middle sister has been ttc since she was 18 and hasn't gotten pg.

2. If so what are their issues (if you want to share)? She has uterine abnormalities. She was told that she would have no trouble conceiving but would be unlikely to carry the child to term.

3. How has this affected your relationship? Well I hate the guy she's with, but I know what it's like to want a baby and not be able to have one. We keep each other updated on the latest tips and stuff, and talk and vent about IF. I think we're closer because of it, although to me it almost feels like a race. We really want to be pregnant at the same time though.