is this innapropriate?

DianeN9

I'm currently staying with my mom and stepdad while i get back on my feet before my LO arrives. Well, my stepdad is CONSTANTLY making sexual comments around me, and his two sons [ages 10 and 12]... today he made such a disgusting comment that i said, ''ok im moving back in with ex FI because i'm sick of this''.... now the whole house is hostile and my stepdad refuses to talk because i ''was rude''.... does anyone else think comments like that about MY mother around HER daughter and HIS sons are innapropriate? Cuz i do!

lindylogana

Yuck!  Totally inappropriate, it makes you uncomfortable and shouldn't be said around 10 and 12 year olds!

brandiemperdue2

um...my response.....throat punch

kimandjared

There is no way you are being inappropriate!! I would have done the same thing!

jrlandrigan

I would find that disgusting and innapropriate. Most men are pigs but can't admit to it. That's not rude of you to say that- he needs to grow up and realize there is a time and place- especially not around children!

Kiki-licioius

What did he say?  IDK unless I know what he said.

"hey hon, nice boobies?"

ETA: It would have been better for you to address it in private IMO instead of letting it build up. 

jenny1980

What did he say?

It's his house. 

SigmundsGirl

I think it is highly inappropriate and would be p!ssed if I was your mom. What does she think?

jellybean210

You should be mad b/c HE was rude! That's disgusting. What does your mom think about it, I'm sure she doesn't appreciate it either!

sleepingbeauty825

Some men are disgusting and rude and I can't imagine how some women tolerate them. That being said, it's hard to say if it was inappropriate not knowing what it was he said. If it was extraordinarily inappropriate saying something in private might have been ideal. If it just made you uncomfortable but you would have tolerated it coming from someone else (a friend maybe), leaving the room/avoiding him would probably work.

TCTF

I think he needs to be more considerate around you, being pregnant and more hormonal. My FIL tends to make questional jokes, but that's all the time, and usually its more like "you sure you aren't just carrying a tapeworm?" and calling me "lump gut" (which is actually perfectly fine now, since DH's new pet name for me is Lumpy, which he only says when no one's around). Ifs its purely sexual and directed and you or your mother, and its affecting the way his sons act around you, or if they repeat it, then I would say he's crossed the line. At least with my FIL he doesn't ever say anything sexual unless the kids aren't around, and if I go red or look away he always makes a joke that puts me in a good light right after or he'll give me a hug and make sure I know he's just kidding around. You should never feel uncomfortable where you live. Even more so if that's where your baby will be living. What if those boys start treating your baby like that?

xnbride

...so what did he say?

Kiki-licioius

Maybe she forgot what he said...lol

 

liza0828

Depends on what he said.

But even if he was inappropriate, the fact is you're in his house.  If it were your house, that's another story, but if you don't like it your only real recourse is to move out.

OhioBobcat

My question is whether or not you said anything to him up to this point to address the inappropriate nature of what he was saying and pointing out that it made you uncomfortable...or did you just keep quiet until you couldn't stand it anymore.

True, it is his house and you are essentially a guest...but unless you spoke up before or mentioned to your mom the things he was saying, I can see why he might have clammed up around you.

Not making excuses for him, but some people have no self-awareness or concern for others when they speak. He could think he was being genuinely funny or thinking he was leveling with you as another adult. Until you speak up and let him know it bothers you, he may not even know.

LittleMamaB

Are you an adult? What did he say? Not things about you, right?

I can't get on board with saying inappropriate things around the kids, but they are his kids. And you are grown, I assume. And you are living in his home. I say suck it up and deal, or try to find somewhere else to live.