I really hate to bring everyone down today. If you don't want to be brought down don't even bother reading this.
I guess to start, I'm 19 and my husband is 18. I got pregnant in March, and at the time, my husband couldn't stop talking about how excited he was for this baby. I could not have been more thrilled about anything. Since then, we've moved into a loft, I've begun working full time, and we've been preparing.
Last week, my husband went home to Michigan from our home in Pennsylvania to visit friends and family. He's been gone for about 4 days. I've been at work for my 8am to midnight shift, as I am every Saturday and Sunday, when I received a phone call from him. Basically, he has decided that he is not ready for this baby. He will not be coming home, and he is leaving me. I've been a mess, obviously. I'm still here at work, waiting for a ride home.
All I'm asking for, really, is just some support. Something. I feel so alone. All I can think about is my daughter, and how she will grow up without her father. I'm scared for that. I don't ever want her to feel unwanted or unloved. I love her more than anything. I'm unsure of what kind of support I'm looking for, I just don't know who to talk to.
On another note, I hope that everything is well for all of you ladies. I guess this experience, no matter how fresh, is making me realize how amazing the journey we are all on truly is. My husband told me how selfish I am for not realizing sooner that he couldn't do this, but really, what we are all doing is the most unselfish thing anyone could do. I have nothing but respect for all of you women, and wish you absolutely the best of luck on your journey.
Re: I really just need support right now...
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I really hope he changes his mind and at least gives it a shot. Not sure why he is calling you selfish for not realizing his inner feelings. Unless daily he was telling you to give the kid up and he wasn't ready for this, that would be the only way for him to have a leg to stand on when making that sort of statement.
Are you in center city? Are you from this area? Is there family you can reach out to?
I'm not far from Philly if you need someone to meet for ice cream (since we can't drink coffee).
What a turd--no better yet a coward. He needs to come back eventually to get his sh*t, have it "packed" and ready in trash bags for him. Change your locks, call a laywer start the paperwork asap--do some major damage. Go get an account w/just your name on it and take the money. Support yourself and get you and baby prepared for the best.
ok now really do you think he is scared and overwhelmed? things are just stressed and hetic? Is he ever been like this before? Where is your family/support? Big hugs, it will get better somehow.
I am so sorry to hear your story. The optimist in me says that maybe he is just scared and isn't really thinking about what he is saying. He may also have friends and family members that are putting ideas in to his head. Maybe if you give him a little space he will come around on his own. In the meantime it is important that you continue to take care of yourself and as a lot of previous posters have noted, find out who you can count on for support.
Good luck to you and don't let this guy get you down.
How terrible. I can't believe he tried to make it almost your fault by saying you didn't notice that he wasn't ready. Only he knows his inner feelings. Like a pp said, you can still get child support out of him and possibly alimony as well.
He most likely got around all his family and friends and realized that he's going to have to grow up fast.
I'm glad you have your family right around you. Stay strong!!!
Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. As everyone told you, and I'm sure you know, you are not being selfish. What are his friends and family saying about this? If any son of mine tried to pull this sh!t he'd be disowned and all of my time/resources would be going to his wife and child.
I do hope that he comes to his senses and grows up before the baby arrives, but in the meantime - do you have any support where you are now? I think it will be crucial that you are near friends or family so that you have some help. You can do this! Stick around here, the ladies can be a great social support. Good luck
Edit: Saw that your family is near you. That's great! I'm glad to hear it
wow, I am so sorry that you are in this situation. I can't imagine what you must be going through, but I can tell you that you can do this. You are alot stronger than you think. You and your little girl will be just fine, but you can't do this alone. Call on your friends and family right now. They will give you the support that you need. Take care of yourself and your little one.
9 angels in heaven-3 in my arms and 1 in the NICU
Mono/di twin girls: Josephine born to heaven and Evangeline born Earthside at 25w