DH vent- SO annoyed!!!!

ArmyWife123

first off- has anyone elses DH seem to completely gone off the deep end since bfp?  mine has!!!!!  and i KNOW part of it is b/c his diabetes is messed up for the moment, but seriously this man has turned into the most worthless jackA i think in the entire world!!!!!  (and i KNOW that sounds horrible!)

a lil backstory: when we found out we were preggo (we were hoping it would happen but werent really trying and definitely didnt expect the + so soon) he was really excited.  i think that lasted all of about a week.  now he is constantly commenting on my body (and not in a good way- which sucks b/c im already self conscious about my belly and the drs keep telling me i need to gain more), he says all i ever do is sleep and whine (completely untrue on the whining thing), the one day i dont clean every inch of the house or complete all the laundry the second he gets home he goes off into how lazy i am and i never do anything etc (again- untrue), he gets mad when i tell him my back hurts and his reason for not ever giving me even a 5 second massage: "you never give me one" (again untrue- he just doesnt like the way i massage so i get annoyed and stop).... i could go on....

now i know he has a stressful job, and like i said his diabetes is messed up which makes him a little more moody than normal (which normal is the EXACT opposite of everything i said above....) but is it really THAT much to ask to be kind????  im pregnant and its his 'fault'!!!!  show a little compassion???  he gets off work and goes directly to the couch where he either facebooks or plays xbox until he goes to bed.  i take care of 2 dogs (1 of whom is a great dane puppy), clean the house, do all his laundry, run errands for him constantly, etc.... yet when i ask him for help w/ dinner (even just to help me reach something) he makes some snide comment like 'oh i work all day and you still cant give me 5 seconds to myself' (even if hes been on the couch for hours already...).

and the point: today was my neice and nephews birthday party (which hes known about for a month at least) so i reminded him yesterday to which he said 'oh i didnt know i HAD to go with you' and i didnt even comment back.  then he proceeds to lecture me about how tired he is from work and his 1 class (which he completely volunteered for himself) and that he has so much to do and he doesnt even like them, etc....  and then last night we go to our friends house (his idea) and he plays poker there until 2am.... (???  um-  thought you were tired and had SO much to do???).  then doesnt wake up until 10 when the party was from 11-1 and it takes us almost a full hour to get there, is a complete ass to my entire family the whole hour that we actually are at the party (my mom called me after we left to see if they had offended him in some way or something- embarassing), then we went to a baby sale (again i told him about weeks ago) and every 5 seconds 'why are you so slow,' 'this is taking too long,' whine whine whine.  and while we had planned to go to one of my friends houses tonight to watch the ufc fight (that he LOVES), when i asked him about it he proceeded to lecture me yet again on how busy he is and how much he has to do and that he 'just wants 1 weekend for himself sometimes....'  (did i mention he spent last weekend on a motorcylce rally and the weekend before we did absolutely nothing because he was too focused on beating some new xbox game to get off the couch?)  WTF!!!!  im seriously going to lose it......

ok- vent over!  im just so annoyed!!!!

green bean

wow your dh sounds like a jerk! if he dident want to go to the party then why dident you just leave him home , I would not be able to stand it if my dh acted like that ever. if he messed up his diabetes its on him there is no excuse for him to act like that to your or your family,

cateye

I'm sorry.  DH and just had almost the same conversation.  I hope things turn around for you. 

oohgrrl11

Wow that sucks. My DH has been acting different lately too, partly because he is layed off and worried about finding a job. And it looks like he is going to be a stay at home dad for awhile which will be a huge change! Maybe your DH is stressed out about having a baby and showing it in some strange ways? I know that guys aren't used to feeling emotions so he is probably freaking out. I hope it gets better!

KateLouise

Maybe he's feeling like if he doesn't demand some "me" time now or establish his rights to "me" time then before you know it there'll be a baby and he'll never get a break.

Maybe he has inherent beliefs about your role if you're at home and he's working?

Maybe he just doesn't get what it means to be pregnant.

Either way whatever his feelings are it sounds like he's being an ass and that needs to change. 

I would have a long hard talk about how you're feeling and what both of your expectations are as you move forward.

Good luck