- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Infertility
Angel1122
member
Can't stop crying
Angel1122
member
in Infertility
This morning's bfn just hit me and I am sooo sooo sad. I've been crying for a while and I have a headache from it, my dh is responding by distancing himself and being mad (not at me, at the situation, at life). I feel so worthless.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Can't stop crying
I'm so sorry. I have had a few nights like that myself, and my DH does the same thing. He always ends up blaming himself even though I'm the one who's "broken".
I hope that tomorrow is a better day for you. ::hugs::
I'm sorry. The feeling of being worthless is the absolute worst, it goes along with a bunch of other horrible words that I've said to myself. I just try to think of things that I AM good for in life, that I bring to the world and what I will bring to my child (how ever I get him/her).
I think when dealing with IF it really shows the true differences between men and women. We want to talk and be comforted, they want to hide if they can't solve it.
Just know you're not alone in any of these feelings thats for sure!
IVF #1 = BFP!! So blessed to have our baby boy! IVF #2 = Convert to frozen - 1 frostie! IVF #3 = Convert to frozen - 1 frostie! FET #1 = 8/14, Two transferred, One stuck! Praying for another healthy miracle! Due: 5/2/13
Me - DX Hashimoto's Disease, Hypothyroid, Rheumatoid Arthritis
DH - DX Azoospermia - Sertoli Cell Syndrome
DS-IUI #1-4 BFN IVF #1 - BFP! It's a boy!!!
TTC since 2007
6 IUIs, 3 IVFs, and 2 m/c :< PCOS, Blood Clotting Disorder & MFI
IVF #2 Aug 2011 is a BFN:<
IVF #3 March 2012 is a BFN
Not sure what to do now. Sad and lost.
I'm sorry sweetie! It really is a terrible feeling...and my DH gets mad at the whole thing too...it's just because they hate to see us like that and don't know how else to handle it.
((hugs))
I am so sorry
(((hugs)))
Thanks girls, it's nice to get some sort of encouragement from someone. We're going in for the mandatory bw/us tomorrow to start a new cycle, but I am so not feeling it.
I feel like what's the point, there must be something horribly wrong with me not to be able to get pg when I was told I responded beautifully to the meds (3 mature follicles )and my dh had super sperm (105 million with 89% motility). They were basically brought together and they still couldn't fertilize and implant? It's just so wrong of my body to do this to me. I take good care of it, yet it fails me. If we hadn't had half our meds left, I wouldn't be cycling again. I don't feel ready to emotianally or financially.
We've been dipping in our home savings to pay for this, each IUI cycle costs 3100 without meds and it seems so ridiculously expensive though it includes bw and monitoring (last time it was just us three times and bw twice, and of course the wash and iui). Then over a grand in meds including follistim, hcg, and prometrium. Just feels like I paid a ridiculous amount of money for a stupid period (a crappy one too). I am thinking that either we find a cheaper dr (which sucks because I love my RE and her staff) or we'll just never have children because we'll never be able to afford it.
It so doesn't help to have a moody husband. I/we so need to see some sort of counselor, this sucks and it is too depressing (it can't be natural for a person to cry this much)
The whole OOP thing sucks. While I hear your frustration don't think your body is a failure just b/c IUI doesn't work. It's chances are not high simply because so many things need to come together, even though you are putting things on your side. If you don't feel like cycling I encourage you to take a month off. There is no reason to rush into another cycle. DH and I had to take a month off due to scheduling, but in the end it was the best month of at least the last 6. Best wishes to you. We are always here!
I'm sorry!! Hang in there!! I have been the same way lately and DH tries.. he really does. I know how you feel. being the one "broken" just is the pits!!
PCOS, RPL, & Anti Cardiolipin Antibody
Unexplained Infertility
After two Clomid cycles, three injectable IUI cycles, two IVFs, two miscarriages, and one lap surgery, IVF #2 has brought us our little boy!
TTC #2
After months of being postponed or cancelled, FET #1.3 (Natural FET) brought us twin girls!
12/08 DX - irregular cycles - unexplained IF
2/09 - 4/09 - Clomid, TI
5/09 - 12/09 - 4 IUI
3/10 - 7/10 - 2 IVF
11/10 - Frozen Transfer
3/11 - Dx Insulin Resistant & Hypoglycemic - treating w/ Metformin & diet
Sorry to hear about what you're going through. I know how much those IUI BFNs hurt, and it sounds even worse with as much as it's costing for you guys. Just a thought, but could you try to get some meds through the OOP meds donation that TTGP runs? Maybe that would help a little bit with the cost.... My DH and I have gone to counseling since we've been dealing with IF, and it's been really helpful. I was scared to do it at first, but it was a good move. Take care. ((hugs))
IVF#1 Oct 2009 (CCRM) - BFN
IVF#2 March 2010 - Poor response/cancelled
DE IVF#1 Aug 2010 - BFN
DE IVF#2 Dec 2010 - Transferred 1, 2 frozen - BFP!
TTC#2 FET Jan 2013 - Transferred 1 - BFP!
BFN's suck. I'm so sorry. HUGS!