At my wits end, any advice would be great!

crazynervous

I swear my two boys must have gotten together and decided to drive me to the brink of sanity!  My youngest has always been so easy but lately he is such a stinker!! He sleep like crap!  I have tried everything to get him to sleep peacefully but no matter what I end up having to let him cry it out.  Even in the middle of the night feedings he will be sound asleep on me and the minute I stand up he wakes up and starts crying.  Any suggestions? 

Then my older one is seriously headed towards and orphanage!  What do you do when they are in time out and still being sassy or worse yet won't stay in time out or in their room or they are in their room and going to bed and then start being sassy do you do a time out then?  That is really what he wants because he doesn't want to go to bed.  Ugh.  I am so tired of how disrespectful he is and how much he hits and then get this he tells us he wants to be a bad boy and he is mean!!  Where does he this stuff. 

How do you deal with this type of behavior without totatlly losing it!? 

 

AWD

No advice for the youngest but how old is DS#1?

crazynervous

My oldest is 3 yrs and the youngest is 11mths

amanda&rob

Maybe put the youngest one in the swing for the rest of the night.  We did that because she wouldn't sleep in the crib at first. 

We put our dd in time out and her time will reset if she gets out of her chair.  I have also turned her chair around into a corner so she couldn't get up before and that worked.  Also, at the end of her time out we always talk about why she is sitting in the chair so she understands at the beginning and the end of time out why she is there.  And I always end it with an I love you and hug. 

DaiLyght

Not sure about the youngest. Maybe it's just a phase? Teething, growth spurt? Hopefully it'll get better.

For DS2, particularly at bedtime though, If I'm putting him to bed (getting in his jammies, singing our one last song, getting the blankets and picking an animal, etc.) and he starts acting up like that, I say "Okay, I guess you don't want me to put you to bed tonight, then. You can put yourself to bed. Goodnight!!" and I walk out, shut the door. Inevitably after a minute or two, he will call for me and tell me he's sorry and we'll talk about being nice, etc.

For the physical stuff, I was at a parents session recently and she discussed this: 

First, catch him, obviously. Sit on the floor. Important to sit on the floor b/c your center of gravity is stronger. Sit in the middle of the room, or at least not near anything within reach. Hold the child with one arm under the legs (behind the knees), and the other behind the shoulders. Fold them in half in your lap. Have them facing sideways. If they are facing you, they can kick. Facing away, they can push back against you. Facing sideways, they cannot get you and you retain physical control. Keep them close, folded up, and say very calmly and quietly, "I will be in control of you if you cannot be in control of you." Every few minutes, repeat saying that. Once the child has calmed down, as long as that takes, ask them if they are ready to be in control of themselves? Are you ready to go to bed now?

 

Place them in the bed. If they start acting up again, take them back out, sit back on the floor and repeat.

 

Some of the language she used:

If you cannot be in control of you, then I will do it for you.

Do you need help getting control? I will do that for you if you need me to. I will help you get control.

illinimama

Ignore DS #1 when he's in time out and still mouthing off. If they won't stay in time out, do as supernanny does... keep putting him back WITHOUT talking to him or saying anything and the time starts over everytime he gets up. If he starts mouthing off while in bed, I would just ignore him.

I've started being mean mom with my DS. I give him one warning and then he starts losing stuff. Toys, TV, playdates with friends, snacks, etc. He and I had a LONG talk the other day and I told him that if all he has left is his bed and his dresser in his room because of his behavior, that it would happen. I'm so done with the TERRIBLE 3's. The 2's had nothing on what I'm dealing with now. Ugh...

lsufan

My middle DS didn't sleep through until 14 months, when I night weaned him, and #3 looks like he'll be the same way. ?We did let B CIO a few times in the middle of the night out of sheer exhaustion. ?He'd eventually fall asleep and then wake up again a couple of hours later, and there was no way at that point I was going to let him cry again. ?I don't have much advice there. ?For us it was really just a matter of waiting until he was ready to sleep through.

When my oldest gets sassy around bedtime, it's usually because he's tired. ?I'll usually just speed up the process of getting him into bed. ?There have been a few occasions when we told him that if he kept doing something, he wouldn't get stories before bed. ?Only once did we have to follow through with that threat. ?Good luck!?

femmegem

I wouldn't do time outs right before bed if they're going to delay bedtime. Especially if you think he's trying to stay up later. Just ignore the behavior and leave.

TOs aren't very effective as a method of discipline for my DS. They're really just a time for both of us to cool down, which is sometimes really necessary. I've found the best way to work with Alex is to focus on the positive. Right now we're doing a sticker chart that rewards good listening, and he loves that. He does really well with positive reinforcement. Maybe you could try something like that that rewards him when he's not sassy.

Just a thought. Sometimes I feel like we get into this downward spiral of negativity and punishment and I find that focusing on the positive for awhile really helps.

ETA: I let a lot of things slide when I know DS is tired. If he's mouthing off, I simply say, "That wasn't a very nice thing to say" and continue doing whatever I was doing.

I also do what Daily suggested at bedtime. If DS is being uncooperative I just tell him that if he wants me to read to him before bed, he needs to ______ (fill in the blank- be respectful, come over to me so I can get him dressed, etc.). If he won't, I leave. Period.

I do not do the supernanny thing of continuing to put him back in TO if he won't stay because he thinks it's funny and my temper goes through the roof. It's not a good combination, to say the least.

AWD

I have found (every DC is different) that when DS (2y 8m) begins acting up I tell him it hurts my ears and gives me a headache. He feels sorry for me and totally changes his attidue then begins to love on me and tell me he's sorry. I also tell him when he throws a tantrum to go ahead but mommy isn't going to listen. For some reason he stops b/c he is not getting the reaction out of me that he wants. When he doesn't want to go to bed I tell him "ok I guess I am going to have to call Caillou (or whatever your DS is interested in ) and tell him that Cooper isn't listening therefore he can't watch him on TV tomorrow and how disappointed Caillou is going to be. DH will answer his cell phone (in a diff. room and pretend to be Caillou) We rarely do Time-outs b/c DS gets so worked up over them (he can't stand to disappoint us right now it really bothers him).  We also tell him that if he acts like that we are going to give his cars or trains or whatever to a little boy who listens to his parents. HTH!

Man after reading that we probably seem like really mean parents!