career and IF, how to find balance

nikinikinine

I'm in a job with excellent benefits but I am incredibly bored and underutilized. Recently I've gone on several interviews for a much more promising job. I'm excited about the opportunity...but

I've always envisioned myself as a SAHM and DH and I have saved for years so that I can stop working when the time came. Now that we're 16 months into this process with no end in sight I don't know what to do.

I don't want to start a new job and then leave, but I don't necessarily want to sit here indefinitely in the meantime.

Anyone else experiencing career woes because of IF?

lovemymonkey

I totally understand what you're talking about. I'd talked for years about leaving my job after I have a baby and finding a job closer to home. I currently have an hour commute each way. I really do love the people I work with and I like the work I do, and the company I work for has great benefits for both infertility and adoption.... but I've been here for a long time and I'm definitely bored at times.

If I really pursued it, I could get more responsibiities here and get on some more interesting and challenging projects, but I've been pretty much coasting b/c I didn't want to deal with the stress of doing something new. Plus when I was cycling, it was nice to have the flexibiity, not to mention all the vacation and sick leave I've accrued over the years, to come and go as I needed.

I think a big part of me though is also scared to do something different. *sigh*

yellowchicky

yes tell me about it.  I honestly thought i would be pregnant by now before i knew i had PCOS almost a year ago....  So i stayed at this job feeling the way you feel.  Wish I would have moved sooner on a more promising career.

 however since you have the financial stability you could move to any job and you can leave anytime since you want to be SAHM....go after what makes you happy....

besides with IF you never know when you may get pregnant. its all a suprise is how i see it.  this is where i had to stop planning and let an RE govern it lol its hard to accept at times for me.

DC+PittsburghBride

add me to the list!  I am very happy at my job, but want to move back to my home city.  It has been very difficult to plan a move and new job while balancing IF.  I don't want to start a new job and than immediately take maternity.  At the same time, i could be in this waiting game for a long time.

It has made me realize how much we women have to balance (in a way men don't). 

c0debabe

Wow nikinikinine, you just described me 6 months ago.

I left the job with excellent benefits for my exciting opportunity and I haven't regretted it, even though my new company's insurance doesn't cover IF treatments.  Even when IF things aren't going well, I think I am happier knowing I took a risk and pursued my career.

 I think you have to make a decision about how much you want to let IF run your life.  I think about how much I want a baby every day, but you shouldn't stop living today for something that will happen in the future.

-Sky AKA c0debabe

mrskenny2be

Me!  Me!  Me!  I totally get where you are coming from.  I have an hour commute one way to a job that I like but don't love.  I took it about the time we started TTC thinking that it would be good experience and help build my resume a bit more....went from mangement to HR.  I too havegreat IF and adoption benies.  I was super unhappy about 6 months ago and started looking, but I realized that I'm here for a reason and that is to create less stress on me.  I know that this job and IF are just temporary...a mere fork in the road and I just have to be happy with what I have right NOW....why is that such a hard lesson to learn?!?!

sliz

sort of same here - my job is fine, I work at the same university that DH works at, but I would really like to expand my opportunities here - but I'm gunshy about planning anything because who knows what might (or likely might not) happen next month...

i never thought this would be so difficult for us and I feel like my career is in limbo too...I don't want to start something only to have to drop it in 2 or 3 months....

pubgirl1976

Yes, very much so!  I'm feeling kind of bored in my job and have been recommended for a management position.  I really want to apply, but then I worry about what if I get pg and I'd have to leave soon after starting - how unprofessional.  But then I'm sick of putting my life on hold for something that may take a long time to get (if ever).  Just another reason why IF sucks!

nikinikinine

thanks for all the responses girls! I really appreciate knowing I'm not alone AND hearing everyone's stories and advice!