When did you put limits on the lovey?

hikerbeth

I am watching a friend of DD's a couple times a week after preschool this year.  He is 3 yrs. 7 months.  He has one of those "blanket with a head attached" loveys.

He is not allowed to hold it at school, but otherwise, he has pretty much free reign of the lovey. . . and he has it all. the. time.  He shoves it in his mouth (probably touches the back of his throat. . . seriously) and chews and sucks 100% of the time that he has it.  He learned to talk with it in his mouth and I can understand about 1% of what he says (with or without the toy in his mouth).  It also smells like_sh!t.  The first couple days I watched him I kept thinking he had to go to the bathroom (he is really newly potty trained) so I hounded him all day and then I realized it was the toy.  Ew.

I'm really hoping school talks to his parents about the speech issue. . . and I'm just really curious when they decide to put some real limits on the duck.

So what were your limits?  My DD is attached to several things, but she never had an oral fixation to them.  She sleeps with an army of stuffed animals and has a small, rubber dragon that rides with her in the car and comes along on errands (but not to school).

triplea1819

DS does not put his lovel/blankie in his mouth.  so i let him have it all the time.  he also bring it to school, but they say he basically leaves it on the floor. 

at home, as long as there is 1 in the room, he is ok.  but if he is tried, scared or sick he holds it 100% of the time. 

omurray

Wow, that is tough, especially since it sounds like the parents have not set any boundaries with regards to the lovey.  My DS never really got attached to any sort of lovey, so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about, but I'd say by age 2 at the latest, they should be able to separate from the lovey and understand whatever boundaries the parents choose for it (only in bed, only in the car, only at home, or whatever). 

In your situation, I think you could absolutely enforce a boundary of your choosing since you are in charge.  Particularly since he has it in his mouth all the time, I think you are well justified in not allowing him to have it unless he's taking a nap or having quiet time or whatever.  I wouldn't want his saliva dragged all around my house and it doesn't sound like it gets washed often, if ever - yuck! 

j-w

My DD has a lovie (the same type - blanket with a head) and when she is at home, I'd say she carries it around 50% of the time.  But, she doesn't put it in her mouth.  If it went in the mouth, it would be like a pacifier to me and would've been restricted to her bed only at 18 months-ish old.

shouldbeworkin

Lovies have never been allowed to leave the house, except for long car rides.  My kids had them at school for naps until about 2-3 y/o.  For DS, it became a problem at school so we started keeping it at home.  I just forgot to send DDs for awhile, so she doesn't get it there anymore either.  At home, they can have it as long as they want.  But, I do try to keep it in their rooms b/c I'm sick of hunting them down before bedtime.

katie277s

We have always tried to limit things in the mouth (fingers, toys, blankets, etc.) because of that issue.  He did have a pacifier for a long time, but after he turned 2 it was only used at bed/nap time. 

L has a blanket and monkey that he takes everywhere.  But its more of he just needs to see it there, not that he has to be holding it, etc.  If I want to wash either, he is good with it (as long as it isn't right before bed).  

ilovemygirls

Our girls each have like a 12x12 blankie for a lovey.  I have never let them take it in the car.  They do drag them all over the house, so I'm sure I have grey hair from looking for them over the years, but they don't go out of the house.  My 4 (almost 5) yo DD for about a year would leave hers in her bed during the day & just love on it at night, but she went through a phase of being very anxious about *everything* so I let her start dragging it throughout the house again.  We're going on vacation for a week soon & the rule is that the loveys can come but they must stay in the room where we are sleeping.